View Full Version : Blonde Jokes

Mateo Mathieu
Sep 24th, 2004, 02:21 AM
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that...

She called me to get my phone number.

She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She tried to drown a fish.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

She tripped over a cordless phone.

She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

She studied for a blood test.

She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.

Sep 24th, 2004, 03:44 AM

Sep 24th, 2004, 04:23 AM
Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone's been inside a 747.

Sep 24th, 2004, 04:25 AM
She tripped over a cordless phone.


Sep 24th, 2004, 04:30 AM
love the meow mix :lol:

Sep 24th, 2004, 05:06 AM
I love Blonde Jokes. :hearts:

Q: How can you tell a Blonde has just eaten?
A: The belt buckle mark is on her forehead.

Two blondes were walking through a forest, when they came across some tracks. The first blonde exclaimed ''I know what these are, they are Deer tracks.''
The second blonde responded: ''No, no, no. They are Moose tracks.''
As they stood there arguing on the tracks, they were hit by a train.

Q: How did the Blonde try to kill a Bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Sep 24th, 2004, 05:07 AM
i didnt get the meow mix joke. :o

maybe its cuz i'm a blonde born brunette. :o :tape: i swear all that peroxide has gotten into my head!

Sep 24th, 2004, 05:13 AM
Meow mix :lol::hearts: They should make a meow mix cd featuring the cats from the meow meow commercials :D

Sep 24th, 2004, 05:16 AM
Q: There are three third grade girls, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits?
A: The blonde - she's 18.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said from 2-4 years.

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? :hehehe:
A: Grade 4.

Sep 24th, 2004, 08:58 AM
I am blonde but I am male so I am not really offended :p

Sep 24th, 2004, 09:55 AM

Lord Chips
Sep 24th, 2004, 10:43 AM
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead show up for the same job interview. The brunette is the first one to go in, and after filling out the forms and going through the questions, the interviewer decides to ask her last question:

"How many D's are there in "INDIANA JONES""?

The brunette thinks for a second and responds "One".

The interviewer sends her back with a promise that he'll get back to her after he had interviewed the remaining candidates.

The redhead is next. The process goes about the same, and at the end: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES"?

She immediately says "One". The interviewer says, "OK, we'll let you know".

Then the blonde comes into the room, goes through the questions, and finally gets asked: "How many D's are there in INDIANA JONES".

She gets a very serious look on her face and starts counting her fingers, muttering: "2, 4, 6 ...., hmmm – wait,... 2, 4, 6 .... can I borrow your calculator please?"

After going through 15 minutes of intense calculating, she finally comes up with the answer: "Thirty two"

The interviewer is stunned and asks her: "Ok, now tell me, how the hell did you arrive at this answer?"

The blonde replied "Da da da daaaaaaaa da da da! da da da da du da da da da!"

Sep 24th, 2004, 11:16 AM
blondes rule!! people are jealous of our beauty.

Sep 24th, 2004, 12:32 PM
When she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead


Why was the blonde on the roof?

She heard there was free drinks on the house.

Sep 24th, 2004, 12:43 PM
Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone's been inside a 747.i dont get this :scratch:

Sep 24th, 2004, 12:44 PM
i dont get this :scratch:

"been inside" means shagged ;)

Sep 24th, 2004, 12:44 PM
(I think :shrug: )

Mateo Mathieu
Sep 24th, 2004, 12:46 PM
i dont get this :scratch:
Me either! :shrug:

Sep 24th, 2004, 01:38 PM
it implies blondes are sluts - ie not everyone's been on 747 ie a plane, but everyone has been inside the blonde ie put their penis in her vagina


Sep 24th, 2004, 01:51 PM
A blonde's at a petrol station, and a golfer pulls up in his BMW. When he get's out of his BMW, his golf tees fall out of the car. The blonde picks them up and says "what are these?". The golfer replies "they're tees, I put rest my balls on them while I'm driving". The blond then says "Wow! BMW, what will they think of next"

Sep 24th, 2004, 01:52 PM
Hang on, I'm sure there was another blonde joke thread here, because I remember posting in it.

Sep 24th, 2004, 01:56 PM
Q. what's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone's been inside a 747.
ehh shouldn't that be a whore and a 747? :p