View Full Version : Joan! Why are you kissing Catherine Zeta Jones' Ass?

Sally Struthers
Sep 22nd, 2004, 05:13 PM
How much did she and Douglas pay you to say these things? Can I get in on a cut of it?

'Leave Zeta alone - she's lovely,' says Joan Rivers Sep 19 2004

Lydia Whitfield, Wales on Sunday

QUEEN of mean Joan Rivers reckons critics should stay off Catherine Zeta Jones' back.

The brash and brilliant comedian jokes about absolutely everything from her mother's death and husband's suicide to 9/11.

But the plastic surgery devotee, who is performing at St David's Hall next month, thinks our big Welsh heroes and heroines give us a lot to be proud of.

She told us: "I did a Royal Command Performance and the lovely Catherine Zeta Jones was there. She really is lovely. She is Hollywood Royalty so I don't think she's starry at all.

"She's lovely in person and I don't say that about many people.

"They should lay off criticising her fashion.

"She is having children all over the place so give her a chance. I see her at the awards shows, and she's stunning. She looks beyond glamorous.

"She and Michael Douglas have a very happy marriage and you know, she sure has her feet on the ground and knows just what she wants - the kids, the husband and a life away from this very transient business."

The 70-year-old also reckons our Tom and Shirley are pretty fab too.

"I love Shirley Bassey. I worked for her years ago when I supported her.

"I saw her in Highgrove a few years ago and she looks just wonderful. I was at a birthday party with Tom Jones at Caesar's Palace about 20 years ago now.

"Everyone was mincing around and eventually I just went up and said, 'Oh, just cut the cake, will you and let us go home?' He just said, 'Thank god for that'."

Helen Lawson
Sep 22nd, 2004, 05:28 PM
Joan wants the name of a good surgeon, perhaps. Ass-kissing does get you everything.

I have to admit, Miss Zeta-Jones is quite beautiful and glamorous. If I was to go lesbian, she'd be at the top of my list.

Joan Rivers
Sep 22nd, 2004, 06:02 PM
It was a Welsh paper so you gotta schmooze to sell tickets.

Also I am still trying to get on the Oscar Academy! I have Hel's vote and I am going for the Catherine-Michael-Kirk triumverate. Also if Cath speaks to a few friends - Renee, Julia, Benicio....

It's business, Sal!