View Full Version : Joan's Emmy Fashion Police

Joan Rivers
Sep 20th, 2004, 05:16 PM
My last Emmy thread kids, don't worry! I just have to do the fashion aftermath - it's a ritual for me.

The Good
Debra Messing - I said it before and I will say it again - that is one smart little Jewish girl. Look at Mischa Barton behind her - she's a walking X-Ray!
Melanie Griffith - I can't believe I am saying this but......she looks quite good. There. I said it. The dress flatters her well.
Mariska Hargitay - Just about pulls this off although from certain angles looks like a stalk of celery. I give her points for daring to wear it anyway.
Psycho Sharon gets it right for once.
Marlo Thomas - I am putting Marlo here because at her age she had the good sense to stand down wind and let it pull her facial skin back. Takes a couple of years off.
Kristin Davis - This girl gets it right - SJP take note.
Jennifer Aniston - Gets it right yet again

The Bad
Star Jones! - Oh Star, honey, you did your best on the carpet. FYI - that's not wind doing that to Star's dress. She just farted when the pic was taken.
Streisand - WTF is she wearing? She looks like a walking wedding cake!
Oh take that fat ass home Streisand!
Adam Brody's mother - Typical Jewish attitude - why spend money on a dress when I can make one out of the old curtains in the basement?!
Stockard Channing - Elizabeth Taylor lookalike for hire - parties, bar mitzvahs and weddings....
Patricia Heaton - I feel sick looking at this.
Wanna know what the Children of the Corn look like when they grow up - Exhibit A, Anne Heche!
Jason Ritter - I have no words. Jason, sweetie, you stopped being 5 about 20 years ago!
Teri Hatcher - Obviously she is not there to pick up an award. She looks very hard faced and quite scary!
Teri Hatcher - Did she get splashed by a car driving through a puddle on the way to the Emmys or did something throw up on that dress?!
Mischa Barton - She looks like bulimia personified! Bland color, bland make up and someone give this girl a freaking Big Mac!
Sarah Jessica Parker - Some call this girl a fashion icon. To me she is just scrawny and bony and that dress is just hideous. Star loved it of course!
SJP - Is it Halloween already?!
Lorraine Bracco - Too droopy! At her age you would think she would know to wear a good uplift bra!
Helen Mirren - I see someone's been busy with the kitchen foil!
Edie Falco - Great to see Edie is healthy again, but who picked the dress - Stevie Wonder?!
Trump - I am gonna go out on a limb here but is that a wig?

Helen Lawson
Sep 20th, 2004, 05:25 PM
Thanks, Joan! Nothing beats this awards dress: simple, elegant, and timeless.


Neely OHara
Sep 20th, 2004, 05:42 PM
Joanie, please tell Helen Mirren that the restaurant wants their canopy back. Thanks, hon.

Sep 21st, 2004, 12:35 AM
:eek: @ star jones' so called dress!

Sep 21st, 2004, 01:02 AM
Thanks, Joan! Nothing beats this awards dress: simple, elegant, and timeless.


I wish i had a dollar for everytime i have seen this pic

Sep 21st, 2004, 02:32 AM
i kinda like teri hatcher's thing. but the plastic surgery makes her look horrendous!

Sep 21st, 2004, 03:45 AM
That dress on starr is very bad....:tears:

I disagree about Patricia Heaton's dress, I like it. However, you were funny. :wavey:

Helen Lawson
Sep 21st, 2004, 12:20 PM
I wish i had a dollar for everytime i have seen this pic
I wish I had a dollar for every time you claim you're not a rep whore. I wouldn't have to make stupid Lifetime TV movies or horror movies anymore.

Sep 21st, 2004, 02:55 PM
Did she join the cast of Nip/Tuck or what? What the crap has she done to her face?

Helen Lawson
Sep 21st, 2004, 03:57 PM
Speaking of bizarre facelifts, Marlo Thomas doesn't even look like herself anymore. It wasn't bad work in that she's not pulled too tight or looks like a cat or anything, but she bears only a remote resemblance to Marlo Thomas. "That Girl" should have selected a more particular surgeon.