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View Full Version : Joan's Emmy Comments/Predictions - make your own and see if you can out-predict me!


Joan Rivers
Sep 15th, 2004, 07:49 PM
It's the Emmys on Sunday and since the bastards at E! refused to pay me enough, I will be sitting this one out at home. However I may bring my commentary to my fans here at WtaWorld. In the meantime here are my predictions and comments- give your predictions too and we will see who picks the most correct and who picks the surprise winners as there are always one or two.


Drama Series: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS; "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

Expect The Sopranos to whack 24 and take the award. It has never won this category and after the gasps of horror when West Wing won last year they won't want a repeat of that mistake. Of course the biggest drama of this year has been Martha becoming a jail bitch but sadly prison CCTV can not be presented for an Emmy.

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; "Sex and the City," HBO; "Will & Grace," NBC.

Sex and the City might get it eventually and finishing for good last season helps it but either Arrested Development or Curb Your Enthusiasm deserve it for being funnier. I say Arrested Development but don't be surprised to see Sex win. Of the course the biggest comedy this year was Diana Ross's drink driving tape but sadly police tape can not be presented for an Emmy.

Actor, Drama Series: James Spader, "The Practice," ABC; James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC; Anthony LaPaglia, "Without a Trace," CBS.

Anthony LaPaglia is practically a lock with the bookies. James Spader is the likeliest to cause a surprise but if Sheen wins I want an FBI enquiry!

Actress, Drama Series: Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC; Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.

Edie Falco is another favourite and I think she will do it, although she has changed. Very serious actress type now, very different to the girl I knew in NYC 20 years ago. If anyone will take it away from Falco, it's Jennifer Garner although someone tell her to brush up the acting before trying movies. That 13 going on 30 movie? Painful!

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Victor Garber, "Alias," ABC; Brad Dourif, "Deadwood," HBO; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Steve Buscemi, "The Sopranos," HBO; John Spencer, "The West Wing," NBC.

Steve Buscemi is highly respected and should win. He has never let his looks stand in his way and I have done the same, so good for him!

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Robin Weigert, "Deadwood," HBO; Tyne Daly, "Judging Amy," CBS; Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO; Janel Moloney, "The West Wing," NBC; Stockard Channing, "The West Wing," NBC.

Drea de Matteo gave a great performance as the girl caught in between the FBI and the Mafia and and has literally died (on screen) for her Emmy. Hel, can you believe Tyne won this last year? Expect Tyne to be giving it a strained toothy grimace on camera when Drea's name gets called!

Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; John Ritter, "8 Simple Rules," ABC; Kelsey Grammer, "Frasier," NBC; Matt LeBlanc, "Friends," NBC; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA.

John Ritter is a sympathy nomination and that's all. Larry David - does he actually do any acting on that show? Matt LeBlanc isn't even the best actor in Friends so it's between Kelsey and Tony. Tony will win, but Kelsey should win - he's done the jail time, he deserves one last award!

Actress, Comedy Series: Patricia Heaton, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Jennifer Aniston, "Friends," NBC; Bonnie Hunt, "Life With Bonnie," ABC; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO.

Sarah Jessica Parker is heavy favourite after 5 years of being on the losing end. Expect her to win. Patricia Heaton is an outside bet, but does not deserve it! I would love Jane Kaczmarek to win, but she won't again (last year she was very critical of Debra Messing - lay off her Jane and let the Jewess have her day!). Jennifer Aniston and Bonnie hunt are just there for decoration

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Jeffrey Tambor, "Arrested Development," Fox; Brad Garrett, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Peter Boyle, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; David Hyde Pierce, "Frasier," NBC; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Sean Hayes is a riot but Peter Boyle is the only Raymond cast member not to win an Emmy and David Hyde Pierce may get it on his last chance for his work on Frasier over the years so it's between those two.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Doris Roberts, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Kim Cattrall, "Sex and the City," HBO; Kristin Davis, "Sex and the City," HBO; Cynthia Nixon, "Sex and the City," HBO; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Toughest category of the night? All 3 Sex girls, Doris and Megan. My old pal Sally Struthers took this award twice in the 1970s so a tough act to follow. So - Doris has won this too often and should not win. Megan is just brilliant but has won the last 3 SAG's so expect Kim Cattrall to finally win. I mean the woman has had her 45 year + tits out weekly for 6 years - doesn't that deserve something? However I say the dark horse is Kristin Davis. Charlotte's conversion to Judaism (smart girl!) and trouble conceiving was very well acted.

Miniseries: "American Family -- Journey of Dreams," PBS; "Angels in America," HBO; "Horatio Hornblower," A&E; "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; "Traffic: The Miniseries," USA.

Angels will win, no contest


Variety, Music or Comedy Special: "A&E in Concert: Paul McCartney in Red Square," A&E; "The 76th Annual Academy Awards," ABC; "Chris Rock: Never Scared," HBO; "Elaine Stritch: At Liberty," HBO; "Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now," HBO.

Anything but that Stritch bitch! I joke of course, Elaine is like me, we're survivors. I would love the old broad to win, but it will go to The Oscars - again


Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Antonio Banderas, "And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself," HBO; Al Pacino, "Angels in America," HBO; James Brolin, "The Reagans," Showtime; Alan Rickman, "Something the Lord Made," HBO; Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO.

Al will win, that's all she wrote

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Emma Thompson, "Angels in America," HBO; Meryl Streep, "Angels in America," HBO; Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime; Helen Mirren, "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Judy Davis, "The Reagans," Showtime.

Some brilliant actresses here, but Meryl should take it although I think Helen deserves it but who ever listens to me huh?!!

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Patrick Wilson, "Angels in America," HBO; Justin Kirk, "Angels in America," HBO; Ben Shenkman, "Angels in America," HBO; Jeffrey Wright, "Angels in America," HBO; William H. Macy, "Stealing Sinatra," Showtime.

One of the Angels lot will win. The gay one! Whichever one that was

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Mary-Louise Parker, "Angels in America," HBO; Angela Lansbury, "The Blackwater Lightship (Hallmark Hall Of Fame Presentation)," CBS; Julie Andrews, "Eloise at Christmastime," ABC; Anne Heche, "Gracie's Choice," Lifetime Television; Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO.

Again, Parker will win based on Angels. Hel, there's a couple of Oscar winners in this one. Julie is an old fave, so is Ange. Angelica is a damn good actress. What the hell is Heche doing in there?! I see Ellen is nominated in another category - let's hope for a Emmy night catfight! Parker will win but I say give it to Ange!


OK if anyone wants to predict then just cut and paste my answers and fill in your own. The one with the most right, gets a night out with me, Helen, Neely, Sally and Kitty (if she hasn't been tagged by the cops by then)!

Helen Lawson
Sep 15th, 2004, 08:13 PM
Hey, Joan, nice work. I don't care about crap TV awards, but I'll tell you how I'd vote. After all, I am an Academy member, so I vote on the Oscars every year, so I'm experienced in voting for awards!

Drama Series: "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS; "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; "The Sopranos," HBO; "24," Fox; "The West Wing," NBC.

The Sopranos sucked last season and I didn't even watch the last couple of ones. West Wing is dumb, haven't watched it in years. CSI is good, if I can keep them straight, I'm not sure which one I saw, but it was pretty good, the few I saw, so CSI gets my vote.

Comedy Series: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; "Sex and the City," HBO; "Will & Grace," NBC.

Sex and the City jumped the shark years ago, thank goodness that mess is over. I don't even know when Will & Grace is on anymore, I tried to watch Raymond once, it was beyond horrible and I instead watched a snake mating documentary on the Animal Planet. I've never even heard of Arrested Development. Curb Your Enthusiasm is pretty good, so that gets my vote. Kim Novak turned me onto this show (before we had that falling out over Ray Charles), so I vote for that one.

Actor, Drama Series: James Spader, "The Practice," ABC; James Gandolfini, "The Sopranos," HBO; Kiefer Sutherland, "24," Fox; Martin Sheen, "The West Wing," NBC; Anthony LaPaglia, "Without a Trace," CBS.

These are either crap actors, I never heard of them, or they otherwise suck. I think Anthonly LaPaglia was in Bullets of Broadway and plugged Jennifer Tilly, and he was good in that, so I give him my vote.

Actress, Drama Series: Jennifer Garner, "Alias," ABC; Amber Tamblyn, "Joan of Arcadia," CBS; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC; Edie Falco, "The Sopranos," HBO; Allison Janney, "The West Wing," NBC.

I'm not really digging any of these broads, but sometimes when I'm watching CSI, I notice Hargitay has a big rack just like her mother and I often think what she'd look like dressed like a whore in a blonde wig. So with that entertainment value alone, I vote for Mariska!

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Victor Garber, "Alias," ABC; Brad Dourif, "Deadwood," HBO; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos," HBO; Steve Buscemi, "The Sopranos," HBO; John Spencer, "The West Wing," NBC.

Steve Buscemi was pretty good in Sorpranos despite the season being shit. I don't even know who anyone else is in this category.

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Robin Weigert, "Deadwood," HBO; Tyne Daly, "Judging Amy," CBS; Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos," HBO; Janel Moloney, "The West Wing," NBC; Stockard Channing, "The West Wing," NBC.

Stockard Channing is a Best Actress Oscar nominee and I actually voted for her that year, so I'll vote for her here. Am I the only one who thinks she played Rizzo as a dyke? Brilliant! Hey, only the greats like me can pick up subleties like that!

Actor, Comedy Series: Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," HBO; John Ritter, "8 Simple Rules," ABC; Kelsey Grammer, "Frasier," NBC; Matt LeBlanc, "Friends," NBC; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk," USA.

I'm sick and tired of Frazier and Friends? Please. Larry David is pretty funny and sexy in a weird sort of way, so I vote for him.

Actress, Comedy Series: Patricia Heaton, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Jennifer Aniston, "Friends," NBC; Bonnie Hunt, "Life With Bonnie," ABC; Jane Kaczmarek, "Malcolm in the Middle," Fox; Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City," HBO.

All these broads are awful, I leave the ballot blank on this one.

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Jeffrey Tambor, "Arrested Development," Fox; Brad Garrett, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Peter Boyle, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; David Hyde Pierce, "Frasier," NBC; Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace," NBC.

I guess I missed the episode where Niles confesses to Daphne he's gay but still wants to get married and she's ok with it because he has big money. Anyway, Jeffrey Tambor is sort of sexy and no one else here is that great, so it's Tambor.

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Doris Roberts, "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS; Kim Cattrall, "Sex and the City," HBO; Kristin Davis, "Sex and the City," HBO; Cynthia Nixon, "Sex and the City," HBO; Megan Mullally, "Will & Grace," NBC.

Megan Mullally, she's the only choice here.

Miniseries: "American Family -- Journey of Dreams," PBS; "Angels in America," HBO; "Horatio Hornblower," A&E; "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; "Traffic: The Miniseries," USA.

I tried to watch Angels in America and I got really confused and Carole Anne and I thought I was having a stroke and we went to the hospital, but I was fine. I randomly pick Traffic: The Miniseries because I liked the movie "Traffic" (not sure it's even related) and Catherine Zeta-Jones is beautiful and was in the movie by the same name.


Variety, Music or Comedy Special: "A&E in Concert: Paul McCartney in Red Square," A&E; "The 76th Annual Academy Awards," ABC; "Chris Rock: Never Scared," HBO; "Elaine Stritch: At Liberty," HBO; "Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now," HBO.

Gotta vote for the Oscars, even though I haven't presented since Best Actress for 1973. That bitch Glenda Jackson didn't even show up, but what the hell, it was my night anyway.


Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Antonio Banderas, "And Starring Pancho Villa As Himself," HBO; Al Pacino, "Angels in America," HBO; James Brolin, "The Reagans," Showtime; Alan Rickman, "Something the Lord Made," HBO; Mos Def, "Something the Lord Made," HBO.

Al's an Oscar winner, and I have to tow the party line.

Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Emma Thompson, "Angels in America," HBO; Meryl Streep, "Angels in America," HBO; Glenn Close, "The Lion in Winter," Showtime; Helen Mirren, "Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness (Masterpiece Theatre)," PBS; Judy Davis, "The Reagans," Showtime.

I got confused and went to the hospital before I saw any broads in Angels in America, so I guess I have to go wth Helen Mirren because she has the good taste to have my first name.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or a Movie: Patrick Wilson, "Angels in America," HBO; Justin Kirk, "Angels in America," HBO; Ben Shenkman, "Angels in America," HBO; Jeffrey Wright, "Angels in America," HBO; William H. Macy, "Stealing Sinatra," Showtime.

William H. Macy is the only one I have even heard of and he's an Oscar nominee, so he's my man.

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or a Movie: Mary-Louise Parker, "Angels in America," HBO; Angela Lansbury, "The Blackwater Lightship (Hallmark Hall Of Fame Presentation)," CBS; Julie Andrews, "Eloise at Christmastime," ABC; Anne Heche, "Gracie's Choice," Lifetime Television; Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels," HBO.

I'm not voting for Julie Andrews, I can tell you that! Anjelica Huston is really mean and has a nasty sense of humor, in other words, I love her. She invites me to her annual Easter egg painting party, too, so I vote for her.


Well, you have my votes. This is exactly how I go down an Oscar ballot and vote when I get it, too, so you have some insight on how the Oscars are really decided. I hope you enjoyed it!