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View Full Version : Would you think your life is wasted if not married ever?


-Ph51-
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:29 PM
:confused:

"Sluggy"
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:32 PM
No. I dont think I would feel i wasted my life had i never married. But I do think my life would have been a lot more difficult without my spouse. Having kids does bring a lot of meaning in my life. But I figure you can do so many things to bring meaning in life without having kids.

AjdeNate!
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:36 PM
Nope. I can tell you unequivocally that I will never marry. However, my life may be wasted... just not because of that. I guess I don't see life sucesses in terms of spouse and/or kids. I see it in the happiness you bring everyone that knows you. If I've ever made one person love or laugh once than it's worth it.

Vincent
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:38 PM
Nope. I can tell you unequivocally that I will never marry. However, my life may be wasted... just not because of that. I guess I don't see life sucesses in terms of spouse and/or kids. I see it in the happiness you bring everyone that knows you. If I've ever made one person love or laugh once than it's worth it.Exactly.

controlfreak
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:40 PM
What about if you find the cure for cancer, but never get married. Have you wasted your life?
What about if you meet an amazing person and spend the rest of your life with them in exquisite happiness, yet never actually marry them?
Or what if you are simply happy all of your life, without ever marrying or having a relationship of any kind with any other human?

To me, marriage is completely insignificant in the "grand scheme of things".

Kart
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:46 PM
No way.

apoet29
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:47 PM
I'm 32 years old and at this stage of my life, I don't see myself ever getting married. Would I like too? I thought I did. I've gone out on dates. Put up ads on the internet. Asked friends to set me up. And you know what I found? That I would rather be on my own and live my life as independently as possible. It is not because I didn't meet some wonderful men. It is because marriage or even the mere idea of marriage sets up two things: limitations and expectations. Limitations in personal freedom are a consequence of marriage because of the compromises a person must make to marry. Expectations become too high in such an intimate relationship. I see myself adopting children, but marriage is no longer an expectation anymore.

Of course, I could meet the perfect person tomorrow, but I don't think I would marry him.

AjdeNate!
Jun 16th, 2004, 02:58 PM
I'm 32 years old and at this stage of my life, I don't see myself ever getting married. Would I like too? I thought I did. I've gone out on dates. Put up ads on the internet. Asked friends to set me up. And you know what I found? That I would rather be on my own and live my life as independently as possible. It is not because I didn't meet some wonderful men. It is because marriage or even the mere idea of marriage sets up two things: limitations and expectations. Limitations in personal freedom are a consequence of marriage because of the compromises a person must make to marry. Expectations become too high in such an intimate relationship. I see myself adopting children, but marriage is no longer an expectation anymore.

Of course, I could meet the perfect person tomorrow, but I don't think I would marry him.
:kiss: Awww, great post! I feel nearly the same as you. It's so much easier to be independent!

DemWilliamsGulls
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:11 PM
Hell knaw..if anything..you can waste more of your if you ARE married.....Marriage in a way put restrictions on you. Its not just all about you in a marriage its US (Husband, Wife, Kids etc.) I love being a bachelor..and I will be one all my life ;)

Cariaoke
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:14 PM
One is not defined by a ring on a finger.

The Crow
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:14 PM
I always thought one's life was over at the moment of mariage :p

AjdeNate!
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:15 PM
One is not defined by a ring on a finger.
But one does love a little bling bling every now and again. :kiss:

Avid Merrion
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:20 PM
I always thought one's life was over at the moment of mariage :p
:lol: :lol:

-Ph51-
Jun 16th, 2004, 03:54 PM
One is not defined by a ring on a finger.
Easy answer :p

lizchris
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:17 PM
I do.


To me, there is nothing better than being a spouse and a parent.:)

Wigglytuff
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:23 PM
:confused:


LOL @ this topic.

because ever study has shown that married people are the happiest. :rolleyes: because we all know that everyone who is married is always happy and there is no such thing as divorce. :rolleyes: because everday day wisdom tells us that a married mad is envied by all his friends for being married. :lol: because marriage and childbirth are the only things a woman can really accomplish in her life :lol: because having 2.5 grossly overweight, rude selfish children should be everyones goal :eek: yes married people are the happiest!! lol

now that i am done having my fun with this topic.

my parents have been happily married for 25+ years , without being educated themselves own 2 homes in 2 countries, raised 2 collega grads, one is working on her MBA the other is to start her masters soon.

yes i will LIKELY get married (and i think i know to who), but it dont matter because i know that i will be happy no matter what.

but its not the marriage that makes life fullfilling its the love, having things you love friends you love and going for your dreams is what really makes a life worth while, not some ring and some overweight tax breaks.

Helen Lawson
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:26 PM
Honey, I am 86 at the end of the month. It does not get more wasted than that, but I got an Oscar and twin boys out of it, so it was not for nothing.

per4ever
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:30 PM
certainly not... but it would be for me if I don't find the love of my life ;) No need to marry her 'though ;)

beauty_is_pink
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:44 PM
depends.. did i achieve anything great in my life? was i successful? am i happy? those are factors, i think, that will make you think if your life was wasted or not.

i would love to get married, i think if i don't... i'd be pretty damn lonely and sad :sobbing:

beauty_is_pink
Jun 16th, 2004, 04:47 PM
I'm 32 years old and at this stage of my life, I don't see myself ever getting married. Would I like too? I thought I did. I've gone out on dates. Put up ads on the internet. Asked friends to set me up. And you know what I found? That I would rather be on my own and live my life as independently as possible. It is not because I didn't meet some wonderful men. It is because marriage or even the mere idea of marriage sets up two things: limitations and expectations. Limitations in personal freedom are a consequence of marriage because of the compromises a person must make to marry. Expectations become too high in such an intimate relationship. I see myself adopting children, but marriage is no longer an expectation anymore.

Of course, I could meet the perfect person tomorrow, but I don't think I would marry him.wow i like this post... wonderful intreputation! :kiss:


One is not defined by a ring on a finger.love this one too!

Cariaoke
Jun 16th, 2004, 05:23 PM
But one does love a little bling bling every now and again. :kiss:
*shaking my head*

:p :kiss:

Cariaoke
Jun 16th, 2004, 05:32 PM
Easy answer :p
but a true one.

I'd like to be remembered for contributing something to this world and not for a ceremony that lasted all of 30 mins.

I'd like to get married but it's not my primary goal in life; being happy (I define that as having family and friends, a good job, a nice income and anything I desire) and healthy are. I have a lot I want to accomplish before, during my marriage if applicable and afterwards if applicable.

In short, looking back on my life, the defining moment will not be saying "I do" but "I lived."

thanks. ;)

apoet29
Jun 16th, 2004, 05:33 PM
but a true one.

I'd like to be remembered for contributing something to this world and not for a ceremony that lasted all of 30 mins.

I'd like to get married but it's not my primary goal in life; being happy (I define that as having family and friends, a good job, a nice income and anything I desire) and healthy are. I have a lot I want to accomplish before, during my marriage if applicable and afterwards if applicable.

In short, looking back on my life, the defining moment will not be saying "I do" but "I lived."

thanks. ;)
You just said everything I wanted to say. Thank you. :worship: :worship: :worship:

Bacardi
Jun 16th, 2004, 05:38 PM
It's more wasted if you were married less than a year and it's over by the time you are 24. It haunts you in more ways than you could imagine. :(

beauty_is_pink
Jun 16th, 2004, 05:45 PM
In short, looking back on my life, the defining moment will not be saying "I do" but "I lived."

:worship: :worship: :worship:

DemWilliamsGulls
Jun 16th, 2004, 06:02 PM
LOL @ this topic.

because ever study has shown that married people are the happiest. :rolleyes: because we all know that everyone who is married is always happy and there is no such thing as divorce. :rolleyes: because everday day wisdom tells us that a married mad is envied by all his friends for being married. :lol: because marriage and childbirth are the only things a woman can really accomplish in her life :lol: because having 2.5 grossly overweight, rude selfish children should be everyones goal :eek: yes married people are the happiest!! lol

now that i am done having my fun with this topic.

my parents have been happily married for 25+ years , without being educated themselves own 2 homes in 2 countries, raised 2 collega grads, one is working on her MBA the other is to start her masters soon.

yes i will LIKELY get married (and i think i know to who), but it dont matter because i know that i will be happy no matter what.

but its not the marriage that makes life fullfilling its the love, having things you love friends you love and going for your dreams is what really makes a life worth while, not some ring and some overweight tax breaks.

That cant be true because over 60% of the people who marry in the US end up getting a Divorce...... :lol:

BritneySpearsIsHot
Jun 16th, 2004, 06:20 PM
No, marriage is a step close to divorce

Rocketta
Jun 16th, 2004, 06:43 PM
God I hope your life is not wasted if you don't get married...I'm 34...:unsure:...and I'm not married.....I will say that every last friend and relative that I know is getting/ have gotten married and it's starting to get to me....:crazy: :timebomb: :explode:

tennisIlove09
Jun 16th, 2004, 06:44 PM
For me personally, yes. Because I believe there is a soul mate for everyone out there. I believe that everyone is meant to have true love that lasts your entire life time.

Wigglytuff
Jun 16th, 2004, 07:07 PM
That cant be true because over 60% of the people who marry in the US end up getting a Divorce...... :lol:


i know thats why its called sarcasm

sar·casm ( P ) Pronunciation Key (särkzm)
n.

1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
3. The use of sarcasm. See Synonyms at wit1.

decemberlove
Jun 16th, 2004, 07:22 PM
It's silly to define your life as wasted if not married but I know some people do put a lot of stock into being married. It's not something i chased or dreamt about as a girl. Some people touched on some issues like personal freedom and expectations but its your idea about something that sets it up to be so. If you think of marriage as limiting, it will surely be that. Your personal freedom will be limited only if you let it. Some people get married and act like their individual selves have morphed into one. Even the language we use when describing unions- someone completes me and bullshit like that- sets people up to think of marriage as limiting- rubbish! Yes its true that you always now have someone that you have to be accountable to in some way, but marriage doesn't take away your personal freedom- my mate & I still follow all of our individual dreams- yes of course if it means that an opportunity that comes up half way round the world, i have to think of someone else-yes but doesn't take away from my freedoms. I spend just as much time doing my own thing, and he does as if I were single- some see a problem with that- so it really adds up to what 2 people define their marriage to be. Problems come up because most people have way different 'fantasized' versions of marriage and so expectations tend to run amok but it can be a beautiful thing- I just wouldn't chase after it just to say I'm married but it's a good thing to aspire to have a family- and I know that doesn't only have to come as husband, wife, children...
joy . on point . as usual :kiss:

decemberlove
Jun 16th, 2004, 07:27 PM
will you marry me- we have so much in common:kiss:
i was thinking the same thing as i was reading your original post . i dont think our marriage would limit us in any area :kiss:

SJW
Jun 16th, 2004, 08:14 PM
i would like to have someone special in my life who could be there for a long time. not necessarily now, but definitely when i'm REALLY REALLY old, like 30 :) (jk). marriage is no longer all it's cracked up to be, due to secularisation i guess, if Britney can get married legally for a couple of hours, but homosexuals who are sooooooo committed to each other are still fighting and struggling, then to me it seems like it's become a joke.

i'd much prefer having someone there for me without the document than an empty shell marriage

SJW
Jun 16th, 2004, 08:16 PM
also, i'm too young to think about it now, i do have a list of goals but marriage is no longer a priority for me.

-Ph51-
Jun 16th, 2004, 09:15 PM
:)

peachfuzz
Jun 17th, 2004, 12:47 AM
nah marriage doesn't mean much to me...just as long as i'm loved. :angel:

DutchieGirl
Jun 17th, 2004, 01:23 AM
No... I don't wanna get married anyway!

Experimentee
Jun 17th, 2004, 07:36 AM
No, I'm not really looking forward to marriage that much. Its overrated anyway. People think their goal in life is to get married, and when they do and its crap they dont have anything else to do with their lives and end up miserable.
I'm 20 and I know about 4 people my age who are getting married or are already married, i dont really agree with that as i think its something u shouldnt rush into, even if u never end up getting married u should be really sure when u do. But its not a waste if u dont.

Mattographer
Jun 17th, 2004, 07:49 AM
No way! I dont want to get married, anyway! :D

bee
Jun 17th, 2004, 01:15 PM
People around me make me feel that being married is an achievement.... if you are not married... then you are a failure in life...
I know that is not true.. but ...sometimes...
.... life sucks.. :) :)

"Sluggy"
Jun 17th, 2004, 01:39 PM
Despite my complaining about not being completely free in what i do, where i go, where i spend my money, i find marriage really very satisfying. My kids are two little gems too. My wife is doing a terrific job.

However, many things about traiditional marriages and especially ceremonies literally make me sick to my stomach. We got married in a courthouse in New Jersey with about 10 witnesses and afterwards went out breakfast. It was very informal and it was the day of Holloween. Just the way i like it. And then my parents had over some friends and i a few of mine and a few relatives and we had a little party a few days later. Mom bought a cute little wedding cake and that was about it. Wew, i was happy it wasnt anything formal. I dont judge people that spend 10 - 50 thousand dollars on a wedding party and honeymoon but it aint my style. No engagement ring, no bells and whistles...i went to work the same day at the diner i was working out. I almost feel that people jinx their whole deal with fancy ceremonies and other. AS Dylan wrote, "It aint me Babe".

My parents had a big wedding as did most people of their generation....and are in the process of divorce after 30 years of marriage. She left him for a richer guy....I actually only know of one happy couple that has been together more than 10 years. AT least they are the only ones that seem happy, most others are divorced.

fly guy
Jun 20th, 2004, 12:41 AM
probably. one of my dreams is to get married and have a family.

CJ07
Jun 20th, 2004, 03:52 AM
I think this question needs to be in context.

Personally, I couldn't see my self being truly happy without wife, kids, and a dog.
Seriously. I need that white picket fence, and the mini-van, and the PTA meetings, and the soccer games. Telling my kids about the birds and the bees, trying to not get them to do drugs or smoke. Fighting over how I never let them do anything. I look forward to my wedding as the most important day of my life, right with the birth of my first child.

I really relish all that stuff because I didn't really have that growing up, so I look forward to trying to experience it as an adult.

But anyway, I think this is all relative to your personal situation. For homosexuals, obviously half of this question is closed to 80% of you. And since most of this board is that way, I can see why they have this response. Also those who had broken homes etc...I think it just all depends.

Just my opinion

Rocketta
Jun 20th, 2004, 04:37 AM
Well the question really isn't a good one, no offense ph51. I understand it but really it's not an appropriate question. For one, getting married takes two people. That is never entirely up to any one person so how could anyone's life be wasted if they are not able to do something that requires someone else's cooperation? Secondly, There is a big difference between feeling your life wasn't as fulfilled as it could've been if you had been married and feeling like it was wasted. To feel your life is wasted because someone didn't ask you to marry them or didn't accept a marriage proposal is kind of silly and self-indulgent to me.

Do I hope to get married, yes. Is my life wasted if I'm not? Hell NO! I live, breath and interact with people everyday. I engage people in my work and I have no idea who I have effected in a positive mannor. I give to my family and my friends and to think because one aspect of my hasn't come to fruition like I would've liked would declare my life a waste seems very immature to me.

Maybe, I'm just trying to make myself feel better since everyone I know practically is married except me? :shrug:

:D

Leo_DFP
Jun 20th, 2004, 06:10 AM
No.

My parents are usually horrible to each other. Honestly, I don't think two people are supposed to be seclusively with each other for that long.

Princess Fiona
Jun 20th, 2004, 04:30 PM
(Some nice posts in this thread... :) )

I'd love to meet 'Mr Right'... :) But will I think my life is wasted if I don't meet him and have a family? If I am being totally honest, maybe I will... (Gaaah, blame that romance novel I was reading on the train yesterday... ;) ) I'd like to be happy and happy in myself (very important) and to give something back to others and if I never get married/meet that Mr Right then so be it... Life will go on... (It will? IT WILL? Whaaaaa!! *tears out hair* ;) )

I think there is a 'social expectation' thing sometimes that I can't stand (and it's affected those close to me) - you are not doing such and such a thing and this is deemed to be unusual... Maybe I will be travelling around Asia with a backpack in my later years... ;) (I will not slow down, I will 'speed up'!! :lol: ;) )

per4ever
Jun 20th, 2004, 04:39 PM
(I will not slow down, I will 'speed up'!! :lol: ;) )
and I wonder where you'll be at age 80 :eek: climbing the Everest?

*JR*
Jun 20th, 2004, 04:52 PM
:confused:
It's a good question, but reminds one that most of the many gay and lesbian members here don't have that option to begin with. :(

-Ph51-
Jun 20th, 2004, 04:56 PM
It's a good question, but reminds one that most of the many gay and lesbian members here don't have that option to begin with. :(
In Belgium gay marriage is legal!

*JR*
Jun 20th, 2004, 05:08 PM
In Belgium gay marriage is legal!
It only SEEMS like most of this board is Belgian! :p

Princess Fiona
Jun 20th, 2004, 05:15 PM
and I wonder where you'll be at age 80 :eek: climbing the Everest?
You never know... ;)

(I will have to wear nice boots when I climb Everest!! :drool: ;) )

-Ph51-
Jun 20th, 2004, 05:20 PM
It only SEEMS like most of this board is Belgian! :p
But those who want could marry here :angel: