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KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:02 AM
Help me. I am soo lost in my own world. My brother is smoking pot and I see him saying in msn messenger(which he left open) that
Doing the dip says:
listening to some tunes as of now and smokeing lightly

should I tell my parents? Or would that be too much into his privacy. help me

BlinX
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:11 AM
how old is he?????????

anyway.......its a problem and he should get the help he needs ;)

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:12 AM
he's 20.

peachfuzz
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:14 AM
Well he is an adult and should be able to decide rather he wants to smoke or not...

But if you do tell your parents...it shows that you care about him (not that you're not right now of course) and wants to help him out of it

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:17 AM
should I tell my parents in the morning because they're sleeping right now. or what should I do

njguido11
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:22 AM
smoking pot sux never liked it. but def dont think it should be that big of a deal and def not when the kid is 2o. talk to ur bro tell him ur concerns with it but dont be a rat.

Knizzle
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:22 AM
Going to tattle on your own brother?? Unless your parents specifically told you to tell them if something like that was going on it'd probably be better for you to say something to your brother about his smoking first before you go and rat him out.

peachfuzz
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:22 AM
I think u should have some proof first.

Rtael
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:24 AM
Don't even bother. Telling your parents won't change anything. If you smoke pot, you are trash. Period.

Bacardi
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:24 AM
I hate to break it to you, but if you tell his parents, then they are just going to make him quit. I went to rehab before, probably should go again... and I can be straight faced when I say, you don't quit and get help until YOU are ready to do it yourself, if someone else makes you do it, you'll fall back into the same shit again.

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:24 AM
i do have proof.

PEOPLE- Me and my brother hardly talk. he's not someone who is the best person to confront

Knizzle
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:25 AM
Don't even bother. Telling your parents won't change anything. If you smoke pot, you are trash. Period.
Trash?? He may have cataracts. :lol:

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:28 AM
don't insult my brother okay? i did not make this thread for that. I just need some advice on what to do in my situation.

Berlin_Calling
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:31 AM
Confront him about it first.

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:34 AM
but how. i dont even know if i can

Knizzle
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:34 AM
i do have proof.

PEOPLE- Me and my brother hardly talk. he's not someone who is the best person to confront
Then you definitely shouldn't tell on him. You would look like you are doing it out of vindictiveness.

CJ07
Jun 14th, 2004, 04:49 AM
I mean depending on the type of person he is, don't tell.
He'll likely grow out of it. As long as he's not dealing or doing any other hard drugs, just let it go.

Actually you might use it to grow your relationship. Ask him if he can smoke you up. And then if if he tries to talk you out of it, you can use it as reverse psychology

rand
Jun 14th, 2004, 06:15 AM
why is that so bad? he's 20 and in his right to experiment a bit....it would be really ridiculous to tattle....
just let him be...if it becomes a problem you can still intervene, I mean, it's not crack or anything, it'sjust a bit of pot :confused:

esquímaux
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:22 AM
What's to experiment with? Pot is in no way good for you so why "experiment" with it? I say you out him and if he had at least 2 cents for a brain, he'd thank you for it.

rand
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:26 AM
What's to experiment with? Pot is in no way good for you so why "experiment" with it? I say you out him and if he had at least 2 cents for a brain, he'd thank you for it.
hmm and I thought thye fascists were aal in belgium :confused:

Zamboni
Jun 14th, 2004, 08:11 AM
First thing to find out is how often he smokes and whether it's all he uses.
I know dozens of people who smoke a joint sometimes and I really don't see the problem. Telling your parents would be stupid.

thalle
Jun 14th, 2004, 09:02 AM
dont tell your parents!! he will prolly be pissed at you for ages, and then it will be even more impossible to talk to him...

ask him about the pot, or leave and hope he stops

dubro
Jun 14th, 2004, 09:05 AM
just talk with him about it.

bee
Jun 14th, 2004, 01:05 PM
Tell your parents... that is the best thing you can do for now... :) :) :)

Helen Lawson
Jun 14th, 2004, 01:23 PM
If he has any acting aspirations, tell him Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope.

moby
Jun 14th, 2004, 01:25 PM
talk to him, then tell your parents if it persists

Volcana
Jun 14th, 2004, 01:26 PM
Of course you tell your parents. There are some issues relating to how you found out though.

a) Where did you see this message on msn messenger? Were you supposed to be there?

If you were violating his privacy, be prepared to take some heat for that. Your relationship with him, which you say isn't good, will suffer if you were in his room, or in his apartment. On the other hand, if he's indicreet about his pot smoking, which he obviously is, it increases the odds he'll be arrested.

Tell your parents anyway. Marijuana isn't harmless. It effects your health in ways that run the gamut of memory to fertility. And while the chemical isn't addictive, you can become addictied to it. There's a reason there are 12 step groups like Marijuana Anonymous and Potsmoker's Anonymous.

b) Is he smoking in your parents house? If he is, and it's illegal for him to smoke pot where they live, he's putting THEM at legal risk.

c) If they disapprove of potsmoking, they will care a great deal that YOU found out about. They'll be incredibly relieved that YOU saw enough of a problem to talk them. Maybe he's 20, but how old are you? Do you have younger brothers and sisters? How will your parents feel about them being exposed to marijuana by someone who they trust?

d) Do your parents have any money invested in him? Are they paying for his college? Is he working in a business they own? Are they lending him money? If he's smoking dope, it makes it that much less likely that he'll graduate college, pay back loans, or be successful in business.

e) Your parents can't make him stop. But he's doing something illegal that can damage his health. If he was a heroin addict, would you tell them? Obviously, marijuana is not heroin. Not even close, and I'm not pretending it is. I'm just using that as an example to make the point that this isn't a privacy issue, it's a health and law issue.

Tell them. Definitely. But there's no need to wake them up early.

KoOlMaNsEaN
Jun 14th, 2004, 02:10 PM
UUm ok. I'm 16. He lives with me and my parents. I think he smokes regularly in his room. My dad caught him before but hardly did anything about it he just yelled at him. and yes i looked into one of his conversations.


thank you for all the advice.

Fantastic
Jun 14th, 2004, 02:41 PM
If you don't want to confront your brother - and yeah, it's a choice you're making here - then let him choose his own path. He's 20 and an adult, albeit not a very mature one, but an adult nonetheless. It sounds like your dad already knows that your brother smokes pot, so even if you were to tell him about it now, what would he really do about it? I assume that your dad has probably already shared what he knows with your mother. You could check with her. If she didn't know about it, she might then confront your brother anyway and he won't even suspect it was you who told on him because your dad has already caught him doing it and your brother is most likely to suspect him first. Sneaky, but hey, you have nothing to lose really.

Fantastic
Jun 14th, 2004, 02:47 PM
But smoking pot isn't the real problem here. People don't just start smoking pot for the fun of it. Happy people don't need to smoke pot to feel good about themselves. There's an underlying problem with your brother here. Uncover that and he will probably stop doing it in time once he has sorted that problem out. Most people who smoke pot are unhappy about something. The sensation you get from pot is one of total relaxation and freedom of mind. Your brain goes on a bender for a few hours. It's an escape. What is your brother trying to escape from? Is it a person or an issue? There are many possibilities. Observe him for awhile. You could probably make your own conclusions if you have a keen eye. If not, just talk to him. Don't worry about how he will react. He's your brother. He won't do anything worse than use abusive language and I'm sure you can handle that.

"Sluggy"
Jun 14th, 2004, 02:58 PM
Don't even bother. Telling your parents won't change anything. If you smoke pot, you are trash. Period.


You are condemning a lot of good people Rtael.

"Sluggy"
Jun 14th, 2004, 03:08 PM
My experience tells me there is really nothing you can do. Actually maybe there is. If you can get your brother to stop now youd be really helping him. Maybe you know a friend of his that he really admires that can sit him down? Maybe you know a sports star who he admires...like even a high school athlete? marijuana can really stand in a persons way in so many ways. its not exactly like wasting your life, but it is like living with any other handicap i suppose. Pot smokers usually end up spending a lot of time wondering if they are missing something, wasting their lives etc. its obviously not as severe as other substances, but i encourage anyone who can stop, to stop now and dont do it anymore. Most people cant use it in moderation. Its like anything else... if you can go through life and do things like, read, write letters, share times with a friend, play sports, etc. without having to use artificial means for the head, its obviously better. But dont believe the hype. i dont think pot leads generally to stronger substances. My experience is that real pot heads are usually satisfied with weed and dont go looking for stronger highs.

I dont have any specific advice for you but i can tell you that if the person smokes heavily for a few weeks, it is very hard for them to stop. i know people who were potheads, went into the army and stopped, came out of the army and just started right up again. But i figure that if you are going to live in a city with public transportation, and arent going to drive a car, chances are you arent going to hurt anyone but yourself and you can have a full and fine life as a smoker.

King Aaron
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:01 PM
Talk to him about it, if your dad caught him smoking before and just yelled at him would there be any difference if you told them now? Don't think so.

decemberlove
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:11 PM
why is that so bad? he's 20 and in his right to experiment a bit....it would be really ridiculous to tattle....
just let him be...if it becomes a problem you can still intervene, I mean, it's not crack or anything, it'sjust a bit of pot :confused:
seriously . a lil weed never hurt anyone . its not as if he's 12 or something

decemberlove
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:13 PM
rehab for weed is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard of . alcohol is much worse for you, yet everyone thinks it's ok cos our gov't approves of it . and yknow our gov't always does what is best for us :rolleyes:

Mase
Jun 14th, 2004, 07:29 PM
rehab for weed is the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard of . alcohol is much worse for you, yet everyone thinks it's ok cos our gov't approves of it . and yknow our gov't always does what is best for us :rolleyes:
I agree. I smoked weed like EVERYDAY for like 2 years and Im fine. I didnt need rehab to get over it, I juist said f- it and stopped. And it never led me into any other drugs, as it can others Im sure but. Rehab for weed? Nawww..

And what happened to just getting high to have fun? Thats why I did it, and when it wasnt fun anymore and I got older and grew up some I stopped. As will your brother Im sure. But it wasnt for some 'underlying reasons.' I guess everyone is different and has different motivations for smoking.

WF4EVER
Jun 14th, 2004, 09:55 PM
If you tell, you should know that it won't make him stop. OTOH what he's doing is illegal and could cause troulble for your family.

Personally I have no problem with him smoking his weed; I think he's old enough to make that choice.

Also I don't think your parents will be that surprised. After all your dad caught him before; he'd be very naive to think he'd stop because of some yelling. I yell at my kids all the time; I don't think they even hear.

I think he should be allowed to smoke if he wants; just not in the house.

Kart
Jun 14th, 2004, 10:11 PM
Leave your brother alone. He's older and wiser. If you're concerned then talk to him and warn him you're going to tell your parents. Don't tell them without him knowing, that's not very nice and more importantly it's not exactly condusive to a healthy sibling relationship.

Sean
Jun 14th, 2004, 11:03 PM
Tell him you know and how you feel, but tell him you'll support him. Its a bit tricky with u being youger brother I dont listen to a word my younger bro says but if he was truly upset by something i'd listen and im sure your bro would too.
Try it see what happens. You might find he just does on the odd ocassion with his mates which to be honest isnt too harmful but if he's some serious addict you need to try and help him and telling your folks would be a good place to start.

njguido11
Jun 15th, 2004, 01:25 AM
ur brother sounds a lot cooler than you, sux he has a herb like u for a brother. just kiddin

F-R-E-A-K
Jun 15th, 2004, 01:28 AM
Let him be, he's just experimenting.

Sam L
Jun 15th, 2004, 02:39 AM
Don't "confront" him. That sounds like such an antagonising word. Just talk to him about it. You said you two don't talk much, maybe this is a good opportunity to have a conversation with him. Just start by asking if he's smoked it. And say, you've seen people do it in school and was wondering what it's like etc... I guess lie a little if necessary.