PDA

View Full Version : Time to salute the real heroes of sport... thread


MartianJoeyWinson
Feb 24th, 2002, 05:22 PM
#97 of 63

The F1 Helmet Visor Wiper

The car comes to a stall in the pits, the mechanics dive into action, changing the tyres, loading the fuel at lightning quick speeds. But... what about the bloke who dives over and gives the drivers visor a wipe clean? If he wasn't there the driver would have to waste another tear off, but this man makes it not so. He just goes in there, and wipes the visor, left to right, left to right, in a hurried yet thorough fashion, making sure it is spotlessly clean.

Tyre compounds are no relevance to his work, he has to make sure he gets the right detergent, the ones that will get that visor cleaner than all others. The one that will make the driver see clearly. The amount of hours he must practice to get that technique right. The vital decisions he must make, "should I use a J-Cloth or just the orthodox household duster?".

And at the end of the year, whether his team are Formula One Champions of the world, or Minardi, he can go back to a nice house with a widescreen tv, big bed, huge garage, and all this because he has earned the right to wipe a drivers visor clean. (If he is a member of the Prost team he'd be going down the Job Centre looking for industrial cleaning jobs)

Visor wipe man, we salute you.

Next in the series - #3 - The F1 Lollipop man. The pinnacle of the lollipop profession.

*Izzy*
Feb 24th, 2002, 06:10 PM
Lol! That reminds me of those "Real men of genius" Budweiser ads!

e.g Mr Nudist Colony Activity Co-ordinator:rolleyes:

Evey
Feb 24th, 2002, 06:19 PM
Originally posted by Frey
Lol! That reminds me of those "Real men of genius" Budweiser ads!

e.g Mr Nudist Colony Activity Co-ordinator:rolleyes:

LoL Frey! me too!

*Izzy*
Feb 24th, 2002, 06:23 PM
Originally posted by Evey


LoL Frey! me too!

Lol! My all time favourite has to be "Mr foot-long hot dog inventor!"

Didn't it used to be "Real American heroes"?

MartianJoeyWinson
Feb 24th, 2002, 10:09 PM
Yeah they changed it after September the 11th. I hate Budweiser but those ads crease me.

Anyway!

The F1 Lollipop man

Lollypop lollypop oh lolly lolly lolly lollypop lollypop oh lolly lolly lolly Lollypop lollypop oh lolly lolly lolly lollypop (pop), da dum dum dum. My boy lollipop (owe oo oo) you make my heart go giddiup (owe oo oo).

Yes, you are the lollypop guy and lollypopping is what you do best. Thousands of people want to make the step up from the "Stop Children" lollipop to the "Brake - 1st Gear" lollipop, which is the highest echelon in the profession, but you made it.

You stand waiting in the pits, not dissimilarly like the visor wipe man and your colleague who holds the fule pipe up so tthe other bloke can pump it in. And when it is your chance, you jump out and tell that driver to stay there so the Jack guy can use his Jack (ooer). And when everyone is done, you turn it round to first gear and lift it up (or just keep it there so you end up with it whacking the helmet like some guy did last year. You probably get a whopping salary for doing it too.

How dare you sleep at night knowing full well that you earn more in a week than some bloke who works in a factory 8 days a week gets in a year. That's graft, all you do is spin a lollipop round! And you don't even have to cross a road or have three second conversations with parents and their army of prams and screaming bloody kids. Who do you think you are?

And I bet you have a big house, widescreen tv and a model girlfriend who you pulled at a twatty bar with the chat-up line "I'm the McLaren lollipop guy", whilst this factory worker goes back to his council house with his miserable wife and screaming bloody kids who constantly want a quid to go down the hops and get some sweets and go on and on and on all the time.

I bet you go on big arsed holidays to Fiji and that, whilst our hard working factory bloke is lucky to get a week at some dingy caravan site in Bridlington (no offence to people who own static caravans based in Bridlington cos I work with someone who has one).

Who the hell do you think you are?!

I DETEST YOU.

Next week #77 - Football's kit men. They wash the kit, they pack the kit, they get in the team photo for it.

Martian Martin
Feb 24th, 2002, 11:03 PM
The Bud adverts are the best, going way back to the two lizards :)

The best current one, has to be the toupee wearers one, hehe!!