DATELINE JAN 21 2008, AO:
OH WHOA, my dear friends
I hope you have all had a great Christmas & New Year, didn't eat too many chocolate eclairs (like I did), watched Wizard Of Oz (like I did)or make mad passionate love to your partner (like I didn't). Well, when you're in Florida & my partner is in Scotland, it is a bit difficult.
Sadly Jamie & I couldn't spend Christmas together, but I attended the Sport of the Year award with him, & it was an honour to be there. But I was very nervous opening the envelope, you know? When I read out the winner, nobody understood what I had said. Then I realised the name of the winner was upside down. Once we sat down, we had a great laugh, s******ing at how Britain thinks it's a sporting nation. But no dancing after. Jamie is quite a dangerous opponent you know!
. Meaning he can't dance a step, hahaha. This other person tried to muscle in, Matt I think his name was. Fancied himself as some sort of dancer, but he wasn't dancing after I dug my high heels in his ankle
, I think he's broken it! Went off muttering how dare I do that to a champion dancer! Never heard of him though.
Well now I'm in Australia of course, in Melbourne. As usual, all sorts of crazy things have happened to me. I don't know why!
First a taxi driver tried to take me to Melbourne swimming pool - don't know who he thought I was, then he took me to Albert Park instead of the tennis. I mean, didn't he know who I was? I'm a famous tennis player & comedian star. I told him: "don't sit there to sit there, take me to the tennis. Thankfully I got there just in time. Then I had to run through a crowd in my wet, see-through dress to get an ice bath after my latest tough match. The driver didn't turn up. Then I spotted the driver across the street. It was JAMIE!!! I think he did that deliberately!!
There was certainly a bigger crowd coming back than there was going there for some reason! I'm sure you know I got fined $2,000 for my mom coaching me when all she said was C'MON!!! The fact that she ALSO said put more slice on your backhand & concentrate on serving to her backhand had nothing to do with it, I don't think. I play Serena next. She is funny, gracious, generous, nice, happy, great tennis player but - WOAH - I don't want to shower her with compliments! I want to give myself a chance NOT to get bagled, you know?
Well, I had better be off to bed...big day tomorrow...I've got another radio ad to do with Jamie, & I have to get my lines right...OA Radio...OA Radio...
Bye bye for now!