These are the Top Five Worst Ana Excuses or Rationalizations,in reverse order.Some of the quotes are paraphrased but the fidelity to Ana's message is spot on(commentary attached)
5."I just needed a vacation after being so busy these last couple years."----This after a 2009 season where she had about as much presence as Alfred Hitchcock in one of his 'acting roles'
4.Ana's most pathetic 'injury' excuse following a loss:"I couldn't give it my best because I started coughing a little bit during the match."
3.After Brisbane 2010:"I just need to get my timing back after not playing very much for a while."---
Gee,I wonder how THAT happened.Apparently,Ana is looking to CLONE herself so that she can continue to fake or exaggerate injuries and spend several weeks WAGging while still getting sufficient match play
2.When asked if she's too nice to have a top player's killer instinct:"I don't think so.Look at Steffi Graf;she was a nice person and a great champion,too."---
Ummmm,Ana,comparing Steffi Graf to YOU--in terms of mental strength--is like comparing General Maximus to Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes
1.THIS one might rank as one of the worst recorded excuses in HUMAN HISTORY.Following her loss to Zheng at Beijing 2008:"My form was off because I didn't realize that I was getting tired during the match."---
WTF???How can you NOT realize that you're getting tired;I don't believe that's humanly possible
.I'm imagining a philanderer whose wife catches him in the act,and then he spouts out:'Oh Honey,I don't know HOW this happened.I was just daydreaming and wandering around the house aimlessly and...right out of the blue....I looked down and noticed that I was having sex with some strange woman...and then YOU walked in simultaneously
." Ana's excuse is as equally credible as that second one.
You're the Queen,Ana
Don't be scared to open the door, Serena. It's not the Land Shark, it's only the doping agency
Propaganda Director for the Olympic Slam Queen
aboard SS Dementieva
Ste. Kim, we didn't have you for long enough, but we appreciate what you gave us