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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 04:25 PM Thread Starter
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The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

Ok, first of all: thank you for paying attention to this thread at all

Now what's this all about? You and I, my friends, Romans and coutrymen, are going to write the wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva', together!
The concept is very simple, so that even Mat will understand

Every person that decides to play along at this point, instead of further contemplating exactly how insane I really am, can post a couple of sentences or one paragraph at a time. If what you post is (part of) a conversation, you'll have to limit yourself to 5 sentences. This should give you the possibility to set up a pun. If you choose to describe something, you can write an entire paragraph.
This way the story will be completely (sort of) unpredictable and therefor amusing! I hope...


I'll get us started. Remember:
quote = maximum 5 sentences
description: max one paragraph

Pleas copy the text before adding your contribution.
Have fun!



"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.*

Thank you, Elena

Jelena Dokic, Tsvetana Pironkova, Caroline Wozniacki
Daniela Hantuchova, Gisela Dulko, Julia Görges

Former Training Accommodation Manager aboard the SS Dementieva
Now discovering New Horizons...
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 04:52 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"It appears poor Russian-fan cought site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 05:00 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

i'm no good with stories, but i'll think of something and will post it

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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 05:14 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

we eagerly await!

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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 08:10 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

"I thought I played well ,I just finished at the wrong time!"

Elena AFR!!!

Computer Engineer of the S.S. DEMENTIEVA

Keeping me young: Lena -- Wicky - TOB - Sorana - AnaPiv
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 21st, 2007, 11:38 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
"I read on the internet that there is something chipmunky about me :-)"--Andrea H.[/SIZE]
Jo-La Queen of Norrland and Bastad
Elena Viatcheslavovna Dementieva--Eternal Goddess of the Divine Bangs
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 23rd, 2007, 03:57 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"

Captain of the all new SS Dementieva


Once a Lena fan always a Lena fan
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 23rd, 2007, 04:14 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
"I read on the internet that there is something chipmunky about me :-)"--Andrea H.[/SIZE]
Jo-La Queen of Norrland and Bastad
Elena Viatcheslavovna Dementieva--Eternal Goddess of the Divine Bangs
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 23rd, 2007, 04:23 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!


Captain of the all new SS Dementieva


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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 24th, 2007, 09:04 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....


♥♥♥
Dementieva -Hantuchova - Hingis - Ivanovic - Vaidisova*
Que el aire es de cristal, que puede estallar.....que aunque mis labios no hablen te quiero devorar.

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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 24th, 2007, 09:07 PM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

Quote:
Originally Posted by miffedmax View Post
Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

We still have tinme to get along fine.........

♥♥♥
Dementieva -Hantuchova - Hingis - Ivanovic - Vaidisova*
Que el aire es de cristal, que puede estallar.....que aunque mis labios no hablen te quiero devorar.

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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2007, 01:03 AM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D , so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

Ain't no party like a...Cocktail Party!||D'Express_073 |
Pool and Spa Manager Aboard the SS. Dementieva
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2007, 11:59 AM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
"I read on the internet that there is something chipmunky about me :-)"--Andrea H.[/SIZE]
Jo-La Queen of Norrland and Bastad
Elena Viatcheslavovna Dementieva--Eternal Goddess of the Divine Bangs
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 26th, 2007, 04:29 AM
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Elena Dementieva

you're my favourite - how lucky can any man be?

Paola Suárez - Daniela Hantuchova - María Emilia Salerni - Nathalie Dechy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Sarah
me cago en penyarol
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old Mar 26th, 2007, 02:54 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The wackiest 'Tale of the SS Dementieva' you'll ever read! Contribute inside!

Change of rules, write whatever and as much as you want!
Rules are useless in these kind of things anyway, what was I thinking


The wackiest Tale of the SS Dementieva*


*Morning breaks upon the SS Dementieva, which is on it's way to the Polish northern shores. A peaceful silence rules over the decks as some early woken crewmembers take a morning stroll. However, the peaceful silence is suddenly broken by an ear piercing scream coming form the inner decks.

"It appears poor Russian-fan caught site of Altair in the nude as he was having a morning swim"

Jolted by the siren-like scream, Captain D throws open his cabin door just in time to hear a splash from the water below. He quickly moves to the railing to see a blond head swimming away at almost super-human speed. Before he can shout "Woman overboard!" the blond hair slides away from the rest of the body. He opens his mouth to yell "Man Overboard!", but decides that chase will likely be fruitless, as the person obviously has to get away from the ship in a hurry. Completely bewildered, he turns toward the bridge, only to be confonted by a soaking wet Altair, holding a towel which barely covers what ought not to be seen.
"Ah-ha", he mutters, "we'll not see 'her' around here again...". Altair slinks away, surrounded by howls of laughter from the "lucky" witnesses.

Meanwhile, in the ships salon, Max is looking for the wig he had just trimmed to have a lovely set of bangs. He'd hoped to leave it where Elena might see it, hoping she'll change her mind about her hairstyle. He is easily distracted by the sound of a football bouncing off the deck, and steps out of the salon to see psigaucho and Dani kicking a soccer ball.

"Hi, Dani" he says. But she only spits at him, and yells "Die, Gringo!" Of course--how could he have forgotten that it's only a couple months until the Gold Cup begins!

The Capt is headed up the forward companionway ,starboard side when he spies the familiar shape of a tall ,powerfully built blonde haired beauty ahead.

"Ah Lena ,good to see you"
"hee hee you too capt ,titter titter giggle squeal , hee hee ,hows things going?"
" Fine thanks ,ok what have you done? I know that giggle anywhere ,youve been naughty havent you...!"
"Me? Bad? No, somebody keeps taping these pictures of me with bangs all over the ship. I was kind of goofy looking as a kid, wasn't I?"

"Nonsense," said the Captain. "You must have been a beautiful baby, 'cause baby look at you now!"

Elena blushes. "Why thanks . . ."

But the Cap'n ploughs on. "Yes, look at you now! Built like a T-34 tank! Probably bench press more than an American footballer . . .mummph! Gug! Ummmmmffff!" The captain sputters, trying to spit his captain's hat out of his mouth after Lena rammed it down his throat.

"Stop it!" said Lena laughing. "You're making my ribs hurt."

One morning Dani woke up with a big hangover................and we all know that that happens almost everyday...............but the thing was this:
when she woke up she said "ay vete a la verga puta cabeza me duele" and then she hears one voice saying "honey how many times do I need to tell you that I don't speak spanish" she turns around just to see a naked men heading to the door........Dani is surprised she's got no idea of who that men is.....then she feels Mercedes naked body against her back and Merce says to her...................Oh Dani when when when.....when are we going to know WHO is that men that we both have fallen in love with...................when.....

Mercedes feels very confused because it sounds like she just had a 3 some with a mistery man and Dani D , so she felt guilty and went straight to the pool area to do her job and there she found mommy Vera in the lightest mood drinking margaritas by herself

"Good morning" says Mommy Vera to Mercedes. "I am having one of Paco's lovely margaritas to settle my nerves. There's a mysterious knocking coming from somewhere in the ship. I think maybe it's haunted. By the way, has anybody seen my daughter's doubles partner?"

"Bloody Mary. Please." That's all Mercedes can think to say.

"On this ship, we refer to those as Bloody TOBs" says Paco from the poolside bar.

"Ah, what a lovely morning" psichogaucho says. Mommy Vera looks at him, surprised, and says "what are you doing aboard, José Mourinho?" Mercedes nods "he's not mourinho, he..." "silly me", interrupts Vera Semionova, "is Roy Keane!" This time is psichogaucho who nods. "I am not Mourinho, nor Keane, I am the cook...""Ah, sure, the cook, and why aren't you doing the meal for my little daughter?" "oh well, about your daughter, there's something you must know, she and I...""hold on, you crazy cowboy" Merecedes says "I am drinking but you are drunk..." "hush up, Merce, let me..." but he doesn't finish the sentence, Alenyaa apears, it seems he didn't sleep a lot...

Alenyaa: Morning everyone (yawn)...

Vera: Another useless waste of space... how will you train with my daughter given the shape you're in?

Alenyaa: The mere prospect of seeing her gives my a rush of adrenaline, Admiral.

Vera: Whatever... where is she anyway? Ah! There you are, my precious little girl. What are you so happy about?

Elena: titter titter, giggle

Thank you, Elena

Jelena Dokic, Tsvetana Pironkova, Caroline Wozniacki
Daniela Hantuchova, Gisela Dulko, Julia Görges

Former Training Accommodation Manager aboard the SS Dementieva
Now discovering New Horizons...
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