You know you're a Lena D fan . . . - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 21st, 2005, 10:10 PM Thread Starter
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You know you're a Lena D fan . . .

Stolen from Jeff Foxworthy's "You Know You're a Redneck When . . ."

You know you're a Lena D. fan when . . .

you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."

you find yourself really, really wishing you'd taken Russian in college.

you find yourself thinking "That girl/woman would be really attractive if she were a little more muscular and had a pony tail thicker than any pony's actual tale," whenever you see an attractive woman/girl other than Lena.

you can't believe they're wasting time broadcasting a bunch of stupid matches when Lena D is practicing two courts over.

you find yourself visiting wtaworld more than once a day to talk about Lena D.

you start a thread on being a Lena D fan . . . or post to it.

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
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Jo-La Duchess of Norrland and Bastad
Elena Viatcheslavovna Dementieva--Eternal Goddess of the Divine Bangs
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post #2 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 21st, 2005, 10:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miffedmax
you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."
I was thinking that the other day!
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post #3 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 21st, 2005, 11:11 PM
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you create a ficticious ship called the SS Dementieva ,then enlist a huge crew ,become captain of it and then write stories!!

I think that covers it ,oh yeah almost forgot ,you simply cant stop thinking about her 24/7!!

You think ,wow that body!! she would be very useful on the farm come haymaking time!!

no other girl is even fit to stand near her!!

you wouldnt care if lena stopped playing during match ,reached into her kit bag ,took out an uzi and gunned the entire crowd down ,heys shes Lena ,she can do what she likes!!

Captain of the all new SS Dementieva


Once a Lena fan always a Lena fan
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post #4 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 12:58 AM
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you know you're an elenaD fan when...

...you get up at 5am to follow her match through livescoring

ROCK ON:
elena dementieva, serena williams, caroline wozniacki, ana ivanovic
david nalbandian, rafael nadal, andy murray, gael monfils, jo-wilfried tsonga
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post #5 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 06:28 AM
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You know you're a Lena D fan when you...
keep shouting watching her fighting on court

Quote:
Originally Posted by Black Rock View Post
Came in here to read something about the match. Found 13 pages of emoticons, gifs and *OMG* one-liners. What a retarded, clueless, childish forum this is.
Pretty much the truth.
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post #6 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 08:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miffedmax
you read the match stats and say "Only 8 DFs? That's not so bad."
Sweet, that's my quote! Does this mean I'm the benchmark?

You also know you're a Lena D fan when...

you think "grass is for losers" when you are a serve-volley player

you think bad thoughts when you see Tik-Tee's avatars (you were nice enough to mention my quote, so I'll acknowledge you Max)

you actually know "nyet" is the Russian equivalent of "come on"

you almost cry tears of joy when Elena hits an ace

you can identify bizarre qualities that let you know when you're a Lena D fan
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post #7 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 10:02 AM
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Oh I'm so hooked by this thread.

You know when you're a LenaD fan when:

- When Lena's serve gets broken you'll be saying "That's what I thought."

- You are the shit out off you when Lena faces Serena, Kim, Justine and Anastasia ...and will be when Lena plays Momo and Linds

- You think damn Shamil is an ass...

- After Lena wins big matches, you stay late in order to eajoy reading comments about how great Lena is on Wtaworld and sport websites. And when Lena loses you can't handle to read such comments as Lena's horrid serve or poor form.

There are more...much more reasons but I leave others to add them.

"Logan Tom" is the best!!!
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post #8 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 10:38 AM
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you know youre a lena fan when you spend much of the tournys...

A/ rushing to the toilet for a wee every 5 mins during lena matches

B/ in total despair!

c/ in Absolute Heaven

d/ Doped up on beta blockers to control blood pressure

e/studying the draw intently for hours on end looking for "dangerous floaters" I.E anybody!


thats just a few more

shes hard work sometimes indeed ,but I can think of no player I would rather support ,shes absolutely bloody fantastic!! She transends just being a fan of her tennis ,I am a fan of HER!

Captain of the all new SS Dementieva


Once a Lena fan always a Lena fan
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post #9 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 12:30 PM
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Because I am. I just konw it

...Don´t smile.
Don't you smile
You´re supposed to wither away with me, so, Juliette...
Please, don´t smile
I´m paralyzed and you are still alive.
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post #10 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 12:59 PM
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you completely freak out if ya missed her match becuz the CC is packed

As you think of the first thing in the morning, Lena D..

and indeed like Capt said thinks about Lena 24/7

Elena Dementieva Forever!

Once a Lena fan, always a Lena fan!
Chief Officer of the new SS Dementieva
Admirer of the sky and all its stars and constellations at night
FC Groningen, olé olé olé, Groningen olé Groningen olé FC Groningen olé olé olé
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post #11 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dementinator
you know youre a lena fan when you spend much of the tournys...

A/ rushing to the toilet for a wee every 5 mins during lena matches

B/ in total despair!

c/ in Absolute Heaven

d/ Doped up on beta blockers to control blood pressure

e/studying the draw intently for hours on end looking for "dangerous floaters" I.E anybody!


thats just a few more

shes hard work sometimes indeed ,but I can think of no player I would rather support ,shes absolutely bloody fantastic!! She transends just being a fan of her tennis ,I am a fan of HER!
yes all true, sounds familiar for me Capt hehe this is suffering from the real Lenatitis

got these:

1) you drive yourself crazy by not seeing Lena's match on tv

2) you getting mad if ya cannot find a pic of Lena from one of her latest matches...

3) get annoyed if the commentator goes on and on about Lena's serve while you thinks it's rather good...

4) if you sweating like hell and are hell nervous before a 1th round in a GS or any other tourney..

Elena Dementieva Forever!

Once a Lena fan, always a Lena fan!
Chief Officer of the new SS Dementieva
Admirer of the sky and all its stars and constellations at night
FC Groningen, olé olé olé, Groningen olé Groningen olé FC Groningen olé olé olé
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post #12 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 01:09 PM
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Quote:
After Lena wins big matches, you stay late in order to eajoy reading comments about how great Lena is on Wtaworld and sport websites. And when Lena loses you can't handle to read such comments as Lena's horrid serve or poor form.
great one Steph, happens to me all the bloody time...

get upset if others make bad comments about Lena,

finds nobody interesting in your stories bout Lena's sensational wins, while talking about it to your family...

Elena Dementieva Forever!

Once a Lena fan, always a Lena fan!
Chief Officer of the new SS Dementieva
Admirer of the sky and all its stars and constellations at night
FC Groningen, olé olé olé, Groningen olé Groningen olé FC Groningen olé olé olé
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post #13 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 05:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by No Name Face
you know you're an elenaD fan when...

...you get up at 5am to follow her match through livescoring
God thats waht i call a fan!
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post #14 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 05:59 PM Thread Starter
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. . . when Lena is down 2-6, 0-1 and you're thinking "Lena has her just where she wants her."

. . . when Venus is a planet, Masha is the name of a character in a Checkov play, Justine is the name of a book by de Sade, Kim is a poem by Kipling and Hantuchova is something you say "God bless you" to.

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
V Squad, The LOB Elite: Vika, Venus and the Mad Viking of Norrland
Jo-La Duchess of Norrland and Bastad
Elena Viatcheslavovna Dementieva--Eternal Goddess of the Divine Bangs
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post #15 of 78 (permalink) Old Jun 22nd, 2005, 06:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by me?LenaD
- You are the shit out off you when Lena faces Serena, Kim, Justine and Anastasia ...and will be when Lena plays Momo and Linds
Crew you should get ready for some shields testing soon...(If I'll get the gunboat in optimal conditions by then )

PS: I'm when Nastya plays...erm...anyone

I can't think of a witty signature right now. I like turtles.

Last edited by LuCaS@ro; Jun 23rd, 2005 at 07:36 PM.
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