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post #36 of (permalink) Old Dec 21st, 2011, 12:04 PM
country flag kaiafan
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Re: Who here has Social Anxiety/Phobia or exhibit the symptms of it?

I've always been a nervous person.I'm not able to talk properly without sweating or stuttering in front of people.Yet this frightens me of going school. But last year I had a serious mental illness(psychosis).I was cured in a mental hospital for a month.Used Zyprexa and now I'm using Abilify.Since then I've become more nervous in social situations and also it turned to a social phobia.When I'm outside even with my family or friends,I'm getting frightened of other people as if they might do me harm.It's not always but causes me not wanna go outside of home.Sometimes I feel I'm getting better but also think if I don't go school or outside,I can't get better.

I somehow think my anxiety in social situations is about I pressurized myself so much.Never showed people the real me.One of the reasons is I'm gay and in childhood other ones made fun of my feminin behaviour(and now the traces are hardly found).I thought too much about what people was thinking about me,still doing.There is also another handicap in the future.That's about the military service.Since our politicians are not really ambitious about cognizing 'conscientious objection', I have to do military serve after age of 20.And I'm brooding about it.School is both my saviour and my killer.

My doctor is saying about my anxiety in social situations,that it's my natural behaviour and I don't have to change it.But how can I live with this?Maybe I should get used to it and cliché but maybe time is the best medicine.
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