Australian Open: Tournament Wrap
The Melbourne 'Slicer' captured by Peter Pan!!!
No you are not misreading anything... Peter Pan has single handedly caught the infamous Melbourne ‘Slicer’, who has been terrorising the courts of the Aussie Open since Day 1. The identity later…
There is sure to be some shifts in the rankings with a lot of top players going out early in the tournament. The 2010 tournament saw the year ending No 1 (Mikey.) bow out on the first day... Along with fellow Top 10-ers (Wedgie619 and MH0861)... Another notable Day 1 casualty was one of the organizers of the game who wasn’t entirely In The Zone...
Possible the biggest Day of the Suicide Tournament was Day 3... When there was upheaval over the OOP (once again I apologise for the misinterpretation)... however this wasn’t the day with the most casualties... This was Day 7 with Safina (and those who choose her) taken out along with those who thought to bet on Sveta (
) and Miss Bond, Alona Bond...
The surprise packet of the tournament was an unranked and enthusiastic jenson, who if Na Li would have defeated Serena, would have won...
Oh now onto the identity of the Melbourne ‘Slicer’
Drum Roll Please
Kasia_q... who just before being caught, as their last act in the tournament, made sure the finalist position was sealed with their pick of Li to defeat Venus to have Serena as a pick to avenge her sister!!!
Australian Open Day 10 Report
Police on the Verge of Capturing the ‘Slicer’!!!
With everyone surviving the clutches on Day 10, the police are one step closer to capturing the aptly named, ‘Slicer’, who has terrorised the locals and visitors to Melbourne Park for the past 10 days...
As Day 11 fast approaches, the race to the title has become a two person race between the 21st seed (Peter Pan) and the unranked (jenson)... Ironically this could well be the final of the actual tournament... with a seed against an unranked play... The only speed hump will be two Golden Flowers (
If Serena Williams is to defeat Na Li,
Winner: Peter Pan
Semi Finalist: jenson & Chrono
Quarter Finalist: lover_of_myskina, solo, Gu_niao & tennisfan_77
Suicide Player of the Day: The MAJOR UPSET award
If Na Li is to defeat Serena Williams,
Semi Finalist: lover_of_myskina & solo
Quarter Finalist: Gu_niao, tennisfan_77, DarkchildSwiss & Craig
: This is the second award for this player this week, and is well deserved... If Li can pull of a major upset against Serena, then jenson (the unranked participant) for this tournament will win... Also if Li does pull off that upset, then Henin (the unranked participant) has the best shot a winning the actual title... Ironic???
Australian Open Day 9 Report
Murder by Numbers!!!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it is impossible for anyone left in the field to achieve the maximum number of points by having a Day 12 winning pick... No one can even have a pick on the last day!!! As everyone has picked Henin and Zheng, everybody who survives to Day 11 will have to pick from the Top Half Semi Final...
And so the question, do you go for the obvious pick (Serena Williams) tomorrow and to assure yourself more points or do you Dare to be Great, and go for the upset (Na Li, Victoria Azarenka) as all people have already chosen Venus as well...
With this depressing news, the ‘Slicer’ is being more daring, and it looks like isn’t waiting for people waiting for people to choose wrong but not giving them an option... Just like the apparent kidnapping of Kovalchuk before they were able to pick on Day 9...
Suicide Player of the Day: The “Dare to be Great” Award
– Peter Pan:
News just in shows Peter Pan (our current leader in the Race for the Title) is Daring to be Great, as they have picked Li on Day 10, leaving the only possible Day 11 pick to be S. Williams... But that’s only if she can get past Azarenka (remember what happened last year???)
Australian Open Day 8 Report
Top Seeds Leave Mass Murder in their Wake!!!
Day 7 left the most amount of bodies in the creek as the ‘Slicer’ was helped with the untimely retirement of the Number 2 Seed (Safina), and the loss of the Number 3 Seed (Kuznetsova)... However, the destruction didn’t stop there with the 4th seed (Wozniacki) bowing out to Li. The only Top 4 Seed you can usually bet on (but only feifei did) is Serena Williams...
Day 8 once again through up some challenges with many people having to choose between Azarenka and Zvonareva as they wish to keep at least one Ace (Williams) up their sleeves...
I would like to thank all those who have made my job as Head of Police (tournament director) for narrowing the suspects list of this case...
Day 9 should see many people under pressure to make picks, as only one seed left (No/ 19 – Petrova) many would have already picked a combination of the Bottom Half Quarter Finalist...
Suicide Player of the Day
: The “Why not 4 from 4???” Award
: As previously mentioned, this player is the only person to have already picked the last remaining Top 4 seed (Serena)... Is this the first time that a player has fallen on their sword or will there be no Top 4 seed to progress to the Semis???
Australian Open Day 7 Report
New Evidence Proves the ‘Slicer’ Walks Amongst Us!!!
Police have found evidence that the Melbourne ‘Slicer’ has entered into the aptly named “Suicide” Tennis tournament. Many people complained that Day 7 was one of the hardest days to pick a winner form... and with the amount of people already eliminated from this days play... we can see why. The match in which the most people choose opposing sides of the tournament so far, Bond, Alona Bond, showed that Jankovic may have just had a bad day with her lose to Zheng. However, 9 people predicted that this would happen, so...
Day 8 is may prove to be the toughest day to choose correctly as it is the first time that all the players playing are seeded... The heat of Melbourne Park and the toughness of the Days selection may have gotten to players already. Peter Pan with the guidance of Tinkerbell (Chrono) has found out that their Day 8 player will be Venus after realising thay had already picked Azarenka...
Suicide Player of the Day: The ‘Dementieva 2009’ Award
: Well this player has taken a leaf out of Elena’s book of 2009 by showing the way to win the AO (WTA or Suicide) is to not be undefeated before showing up in Melbourne... As someone smart once said, “All good things must come to an end”...
Australian Open Day 6 Report
Melbourne Visitors Escape Unscaved!!!
Day 6 of the Australian Open put up a number of difficult matches to pick, which is why they were not picked
... And many people even took up the challenge of the 'Slicer' by picking Venus to win our the Aussie waldcard playoff winner Dellacqua. And maybe if Casey had been in some form she would have been able to push Venus and 8 others) a little more...
However, the 'Slicer' is ready to strike, with many people ready to use other members as proverbial shilds on Day 7... With Zheng vs. Bond, Alona Bond, being the most picked match so far...
With quotes from player; "Day 7 is so difficult.I've been thinking who to pick for 12 hours but no idea " - Chrono, and the more elequently put "This day was so effing difficult!" by Inger67... It's no wonder why the Melbourne 'Slicer' is ready to strike (even if people are being put up as sacrificial lambs)...
Suicide Player of the Day
: The 'Unexpected Run' Award
: In a stunning tradition of the last couple of Slams, a player who isn't expected to make it far (ranking 196) is leading the Race to the Title halfway through the tournament... And with Safina and Azarenka being the only Top 8 seeds chosen, they are not only in the lead, but in a position to retain this lead...
Australian Open Day 5 Report
The Meblbourne 'Slicer' to Strike on Night 5???
Today the 'Slicer' handed a warning to all left at the courts of Melbourne with HOT favorite Kim Clijsters being defeated (and quite easily 0 and 1)... With Kuznetsova to come, could the 'Slicer' strike again with more deverstating consequences? One of the members of the game (GBTHECOACH) unfortunately could not handle the pressure we are all under, and added his death to the growing numbers...
Police at the leatest crime scene found this note written from the 'Slicer' him or herself...
"People of Melbourne, I showed you today that I can strike when people least expect it... Kim losing to Nadia and only winning one game... You think she was tired after Brisbane... NO!!! Next time I will stike out and get more of you in one go then before... I dear you to pick a Williams' Sister tomorrow...
Suicide Player of the Day
: The 'How could I not see THAT' Award
- Everyone who has chosen Safina
: At the beginning of the AO, hardly anyone gave Safina a chance to make it deep into the second week, with Sharapova, Jankovic, Kim, Justine, Sveta all in her road to the finals... But who would have thought her draw would open up (with Bond, Alona Bond, being the highest ranked player in her way to the semis...
Australian Open Day 4 Report
Melbourne in the Midst of a Mafia War???
Another 24 people have been murdered at the newly dubbed ‘Melbourne Slicer’ continues to hunt down victims. In what has been a stunning turn of events the ‘Slicer’ has finally left behind some evidence at the latest crime scene. The evidence, what looks like a trophy from Charleston has the police asking if anyone has noticed a foreigner (presumable American) has been acting suspiciously.
The only good news for the people of Melbourne is the ‘Slicer’ seems to like a challenge, which we have seen with the murders of many highly ranked players early on as well as the champion and finalist of the Aussie Open last year. However, many crime experts believe that as the number of risky targets dwindle, the ‘Slicer’ may not accomplish his daily mission and instead of quality go for quantity. And Day 5 presents a day in which this may happen as half of the scheduled players (in the rounds where all the seeds should reach) are unseeded...
Suicide Player of the Day: The ‘Risky Business’ Award
: This player was the only player to choose Wozniacki on Day 4. I mean sure, a Top 4 seed is an easy choice to win her second round match... but she is a Top 4 seed!!! I only hope this choice doesn’t draw the ‘Slicer’s attention...
Australian Open Day 3 Report
Murder at the Top of the Rankings!!!
With crime on the rise at the courts of Melbourne, it seems like the targets are the well known, higher ranked members of the game. What makes the murders interesting is the there are not many characteristics of each crime that are similar. With only 2 of the Top 10 players in this tournament still alive, many of those of those ranked just outside, are taking the opportunity to move on up the rankings with only two of them bring knocked out, by our mystery killer...
As Day 4 approaches the police have released this report, “We would like to offer the public a warning, a warning that should be strongly heeded, that there are many dangers waiting in the shadows. From players like Shvedova (who has shown she can go toe to toe with the top players in Perth) to the under heralded Aussie Comeback Queen, Dellacqua (who has killed many before with her run at the AO)”
Suicide Player of the Day
: The ‘Down and (not?) Out’ Award
: Many players try to hold off picking the favorites to win the tournament in the early rounds... However, someone must have not opened their memo on the subject as they have already chosen the Belgian comeback twins, Henin (who played stunning against Dementieva) and Clijsters... I guess though only one can make the semis...
Australian Open Day 2 Report
Rain, Rain, GO AWAY!!!
Day 2 of the Aussie Open was a fiery one, with not only the players on court in the heat of the action. Many people spoke out against the establishment in what could be the year’s biggest controversy… and it’s only the second day of the 3rd week...
(Honestly, thought I would like to offer an apology to all those who are now out of the game due to the original OOP that I posted)
On to better news... the heavens didn’t open up again today, which allowed all day 1 and 2 matches to at least begin... and even though many people choose Day 2 matches, they didn’t even need to with Cibulkova wasting a 5/2 third set lead against King (that’s the last two GS’s that king has eliminated me!!!)
Not too many people have been killed today, must be all the extra police around. However, as night falls over Melbourne, who knows is a serial killer is waiting in the shadows with Lisicki still on court...
**Breaking news** The defending champ (Law_) just scraped through to the third day and the 2009 runner up (DoctorG) has a fight on their hands, with Dulko evening her encounter up at a set a piece (maybe that bagel she ate gave her some energy)...
Suicide Player of the Day: The ‘ All by Myself’ Award
: Even though this newcomer has a name that is slightly familiar to all those who play the game regularly (with DarkchildSwiss being ranked No/ 4)... They have shown that they have no problem with standing all alone being the only player to pick Kvitova. It’s these attributes that characterise a great player of Suicide Tennis. Can this unranked player win the first Grand Salm of the Year???
Australian Open Day 1 Report
Top 2 Almost Exit the Grand Slam Arena!!!
Day 1 of the first Grand Slam of the year almost saw a mass suicide (and by a single person). Forty-four people (including the No/ 2 Seed: meb) pick the World No/ 16 qualifier, Wickmayer for the 'easy' win... However, the highest ranked Belgian (Not for long
) played a terrible match losing a set and 19 games, give the survivors a distinct disadvantage, but at least they survived…
The biggest suicide of the day goes to Bacsinszky with 13 killers. This included the defending champion Law_ and the Suicide No/ 1 Mikey. The last time a World No/ 1 was eliminated the first round of a Slam was in the 2002 Aussie Open was Lleyton Hewitt. Coincidence? An Australian at the top of the game loses opening round (day) at their home slam...
There are still many matches to be continued or started so watch out for the late entries into the tournament... Can some Wildcard come in and sneak the title away???
Suicide Player of the Day: 'Aussie, Aussie, Aussie. Oi, Oi, Oi?' Award: Mikey.
- Sorry to mention it again, but you can't go past the No/ 1 being defeated, and to quote him "The shame..."