I suggest that you stage a complete mental break-down at work. This should begin immediately with inattentiveness to hygiene, crying/laughing for no apparent reason, complaints of audio and visual hallucinations and extreme emotional highs and lows. On the last day you report to work before the tournament begins, report naked and babbling incoherently. You'll not only be free to attend the U.S. Open, you may be able to stretch your absence through the Australian Open as well. You'll also solidify your status among other Myskina fans as "fan of the year" and have something to tell your grandchildren someday. If you take my advice, I don't think you can go wrong.