Well.....I will spare you the details of the 'tricks' I learned working for six months in the kitchen of a fancy restaurant, not to mention the things I have seen during twelve years spent in the food production industry!
Man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he’s most assured,
his glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven,
as makes the angels weep.
William Shakespeare (anticipating George W Bush?)