In This Thread, we post in the style of a Lawyer Tard - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:13 AM Thread Starter
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Thumbs up In This Thread, we post in the style of a Lawyer Tard

may it please the board, the plaintiff, Car Key Boi (hereafter referred to as CKB) requests that attendants report to this thread, taking into account the lawful and non-binding restriction that they discuss all issues in a lawyerly tone

CKB is prepared, on the understanding that it is entirely without prejudice to his rights, including but not limited to the right to withdraw any comment he may or may not make with reference to the thread, to participate in a strictly limited way

should, at any time in the future, he consider it prudent to make further posts, resubmit all or part of the posts already made, or indeed to entirely withdraw all or part of any posts made, his rights to take such action and any further action he considers appropriate or neccessary to protect his interests are herewith reserved
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:20 AM
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Objection!

Man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he’s most assured,
his glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven,
as makes the angels weep.

William Shakespeare (anticipating George W Bush?)
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Car Key Boi
Overruled! Ownzed!
M'lord, I submit that the word 'Ownzed' hitherto missapropriated by my learned friend does not appear within the bounds of legal lexis and should, therefore, his afforementioned caveats notwithstanding, be withdrawn from this thread with immediate effect, forthewith.

E&OE

Man, proud man, drest in a little brief authority, most ignorant of what he’s most assured,
his glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven,
as makes the angels weep.

William Shakespeare (anticipating George W Bush?)
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:46 AM
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Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, please look at exhibit A, thread, 80385.

WTA TOUR
ELENA DEMENTIEVA
KIM CLIJSTERS
ALSO STARRING
THE GIRLS ON TOUR!

ASAGOE~BOVINA~JANKOVIC~MOLIK
MYSKINA~SCHNYDER~ZVONAREVA

THE YOUNG GUNS

BACSINSZKY~CHAKVATADZE~IVANOVIC
JACKSON~KIRILENKO~LINETSKAYA
MAKAROVA~MIRZA


THE COMEBACK KIDS

BEYGELZIMER~DOKIC~HARKLEROAD
SPREM~VAKULENKO

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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:53 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colin B
M'lord, I submit that the word 'Ownzed' hitherto missapropriated by my learned friend does not appear within the bounds of legal lexis and should, therefore, his afforementioned caveats notwithstanding, be withdrawn from this thread with immediate effect, forthewith.

E&OE
inasmuchas and whereas the said CKB has given certain undertakings and has taken certain undergivings from time to time and as the context may require now for the avoidance of doubt the Fellowship of Readers of Threads (hereafter referred to as FRTs) are asked to hereby agree that they are willing jointly and severally to be bound by the said undertakings and undergivings MUTATIS MUTANDIS and without limit of time except insofaras any one or plurity of the said FRTs shall at their absolute discretion decline to so do
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:56 AM
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I charge $500/hour.

Everything you do continues long after you've gone
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 11:57 AM
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Miss Henin-Hardenne, how do you plead?
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 12:01 PM
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Its Mrs Henin-Hardenne, I move for a mistrial.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beggin' Beguine
I charge $500/hour.
You must have thunderpussy to charge a steep price like that

Free Mumia Abu-Jamal
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 01:05 PM
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CKB is vicariously liable for the bull shit that will be posted in this thread.

Good luck to the Aussie and Balkan girls!
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 07:29 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SM
CKB is vicariously liable for the bull shit that will be posted in this thread.
the posts contained "In This Thread" (hereafter referred to as ITT) are intended to be of general interest and are provided "as is". None of the posts ITT constitutes professional advice, nor does CKB warrant that any posts will be error free or will meet any particular criteria of performance or quality. In particular, but without limitation, posts may be rendered inaccurate by changes in applicable laws and other regulations. CKB neither assumes nor accepts any responsibility or liability (including for libel) in relation thereto and expressly disclaims all implied warranties including without limitation, warranties of quality, coherent, and eloquent posting
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 07:41 PM
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I plead the 5th.

I'm BACK & SINGLE. So lock up all the hotties!
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 07:42 PM
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the jury finds the defendant, carkeyboi, guilty for the crime of silly postage.

Williams x2 Clijsters Golovin Ivanovic Li Jackson
Federer Blake Fish Roddick Grosjean Bryans x2

"I believe in being polite, you know. In life, the elevator goes both ways, up and down."
-- Roger Federer

like my av? want one like it?
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old Jul 29th, 2003, 07:46 PM
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I would just like to state that this topic including but not limited to CKB's posts is fucking hillarious.
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