Coming to terms with your sexuality - TennisForum.com

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:07 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 264
                     
Coming to terms with your sexuality

I came to terms with mine about a year ago. At first, I used to be attracted to girls, but, then I stumbled upon a gay video. Ever since then, I've preferred guys over girls. I'm not disgusted by girls and their things, it's just that I've always preferred guys ever since then.
So, ever since then, I've been gay.
What's you story?

Last edited by bsza; May 28th, 2014 at 03:31 AM.
bsza is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:22 AM
Senior Member
 
superstition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,566
                     
Re: Finding out you were gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsza View Post
I found out about a year and a half ago. At first, I used to be attracted to girls, but, then I stumbled upon a gay video. Ever since then, I've preferred guys over girls. I'm not disgusted by girls and their things, it's just that I've always preferred guys ever since then.
What's you story?
If you're gay then the attraction wasn't really physical. A person can have a powerful attraction to someone without it being physical lust. This is a big reason why so many people mistakenly think they're bisexual. I made the same mistake when I was young, because I had had strong attractions to some girls.

One of them was a feminine (but not artificially so) girl who turned out to be a lesbian. Sometimes I think we should have married because we got on so well and were both high IQs. The only female friends I had growing up were lesbians, which is odd because several of the people I absolutely loathe are lesbians. I guess it's either love or hate between lesbians and me.

The whole "were gay" grammatical construction is a bit annoying. I never found out I "was" gay. I found out that I am gay.

Anyway... I knew when I was a bit older than a toddler but I was confused about bisexuality until much later, when I finally figured out how distinct the physical arousal attraction is from everything else (to the point of it being decided in milliseconds when a person sees someone).
superstition is offline  
post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:24 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 264
                     
Re: Finding out you were gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by superstition View Post
If you're gay then the attraction wasn't really physical. A person can have a powerful attraction to someone without it being physical lust. This is a big reason why so many people mistakenly think they're bisexual. I made the same mistake when I was young, because I had had strong attractions to some girls.

One of them was a feminine (but not artificially so) girl who turned out to be a lesbian. Sometimes I think we should have married because we got on so well and were both high IQs. The only female friends I had growing up were lesbians, which is odd because several of the people I absolutely loathe are lesbians. I guess it's either love or hate between lesbians and me.

The whole "were gay" grammatical construction is a bit annoying. I never found out I "was" gay. I found out that I am gay.
I'll change it. What a major failure I just finished school and the most important part of one of my classes were subject-verb agreement and staying in one tense.
bsza is offline  
post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:26 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 264
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by superstition View Post
If you're gay then the attraction wasn't really physical. A person can have a powerful attraction to someone without it being physical lust. This is a big reason why so many people mistakenly think they're bisexual. I made the same mistake when I was young, because I had had strong attractions to some girls.

One of them was a feminine (but not artificially so) girl who turned out to be a lesbian. Sometimes I think we should have married because we got on so well and were both high IQs. The only female friends I had growing up were lesbians, which is odd because several of the people I absolutely loathe are lesbians. I guess it's either love or hate between lesbians and me.

The whole "were gay" grammatical construction is a bit annoying. I never found out I "was" gay. I found out that I am gay.

Anyway... I knew when I was a bit older than a toddler but I was confused about bisexuality until much later, when I finally figured out how distinct the physical arousal attraction is from everything else (to the point of it being decided in milliseconds when a person sees someone).
Well, I believe I'm not bi... in any way, because ever since then, I have always preferred guys over girls and never cared about girls. It was more of a "waking up and smelling the roses" type of thing then "getting a dual citizenship" type of thing.
bsza is offline  
post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:28 AM
Senior Member
 
salmon pants.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Casco Bay
Posts: 3,420
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

I prefer the wording, realizing I'm gay, or becoming comfortable with my sexuality. The whole idea of finding out, makes it seem like you took a test or something.

It was a slow sudden realization for me, but I didn't really come to terms or feel comfortable with it until I got away to college, and really embraced who I was.

Tennis Tipping
Singles: 120 CHR: 113
Doubles: 80 CHR: 62

Titles
Singles: 2016(1): Yuxi 25K 2015(2): Canberra 50K, Eastbourne 50K
Doubles: 2016(3): Kaohsiung (w/ joeh37), Bastad (w/ Simona Barthel), Leipzig 25K (w/ TennisFan102) 2015(4): Shrewsbury 25K, Bendigo 50K, Tsukuba 25K, Kurume 50K (w/ joeh37)
salmon pants. is online now  
post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:29 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 264
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by salmon pants. View Post
I prefer the wording, realizing I'm gay, or becoming comfortable with my sexuality. The whole idea of finding out, makes it seem like you took a test or something.

It was a slow sudden realization for me, but I didn't really come to terms or feel comfortable with it until I got away to college, and really embraced who I was.
All right... I'll change it again. Is it okay if I change it to "coming to terms with your sexuality?" Then, it can apply to a larger group of people.
bsza is offline  
post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:32 AM
Senior Member
 
superstition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,566
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bsza View Post
Well, I believe I'm not bi... in any way, because ever since then, I have always preferred guys over girls and never cared about girls. It was more of a "waking up and smelling the roses" type of thing then "getting a dual citizenship" type of thing.
One interesting personal quirk of mine is that I like the MMF threesome video scene better than just having men generally. I suppose it's for the contrast, although I can do without the closeups on lady parts and most of those videos are the bottom of the barrel in terms of production quality. The first popular one that was made in the 80s actually still has the best scene, although it could have been better.
superstition is offline  
post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:33 AM
Senior Member
 
superstition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,566
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by salmon pants. View Post
I prefer the wording, realizing I'm gay, or becoming comfortable with my sexuality. The whole idea of finding out, makes it seem like you took a test or something.

It was a slow sudden realization for me, but I didn't really come to terms or feel comfortable with it until I got away to college, and really embraced who I was.
That's not the point I was making. I don't like the "was gay/were gay" construction because it means the person is no longer gay.

When did you find out that you were gay is different than when did you find out that you are gay.
superstition is offline  
post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:42 AM
Senior Member
 
salmon pants.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Casco Bay
Posts: 3,420
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by superstition View Post
That's not the point I was making. I don't like the "was gay/were gay" construction because it means the person is no longer gay.

When did you find out that you were gay is different than when did you find out that you are gay.
But it is the point I am making.

Tennis Tipping
Singles: 120 CHR: 113
Doubles: 80 CHR: 62

Titles
Singles: 2016(1): Yuxi 25K 2015(2): Canberra 50K, Eastbourne 50K
Doubles: 2016(3): Kaohsiung (w/ joeh37), Bastad (w/ Simona Barthel), Leipzig 25K (w/ TennisFan102) 2015(4): Shrewsbury 25K, Bendigo 50K, Tsukuba 25K, Kurume 50K (w/ joeh37)
salmon pants. is online now  
post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:45 AM
Senior Member
 
superstition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,566
                     
Re: Finding out you are gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by salmon pants. View Post
But it is the point I am making.
Awkwardly, yes.
superstition is offline  
post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:52 AM
Senior Member
 
skanky~skanketta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not paradise thats fo sho
Posts: 15,459
                     
Re: Finding out you were gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by superstition View Post
If you're gay then the attraction wasn't really physical. A person can have a powerful attraction to someone without it being physical lust. This is a big reason why so many people mistakenly think they're bisexual. I made the same mistake when I was young, because I had had strong attractions to some girls.

One of them was a feminine (but not artificially so) girl who turned out to be a lesbian. Sometimes I think we should have married because we got on so well and were both high IQs. The only female friends I had growing up were lesbians, which is odd because several of the people I absolutely loathe are lesbians. I guess it's either love or hate between lesbians and me.

The whole "were gay" grammatical construction is a bit annoying. I never found out I "was" gay. I found out that I am gay.

Anyway... I knew when I was a bit older than a toddler but I was confused about bisexuality until much later, when I finally figured out how distinct the physical arousal attraction is from everything else (to the point of it being decided in milliseconds when a person sees someone).
Way to slip it in there.

skanky~skanketta is offline  
post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old May 28th, 2014, 03:54 AM
Senior Member
 
superstition's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,566
                     
Re: Finding out you were gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skanky~skanketta View Post
Way to slip it in there.
I used were.

Seriously, though... the Eugenicist in me would prefer to create children with high IQs. One drawback to being gay is not passing on one's genes. Given that I could do a lot better job of parenting than my parents did, those genes could have been put to better use by at least trying to give the kid(s) a suitable situation in which to come closer to meeting their potential. However, since the Earth is overpopulating and turning into a cesspool of pollution (to compliment the always polluted political situation), not breeding is also not necessarily a drawback.
superstition is offline  
post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old Jun 3rd, 2014, 08:45 PM
Senior Member
 
Sammy Stones's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: At the gun show
Posts: 2,194
                     
Re: Finding out you were gay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by superstition View Post
I used were.

Seriously, though... the Eugenicist in me would prefer to create children with high IQs. One drawback to being gay is not passing on one's genes. Given that I could do a lot better job of parenting than my parents did, those genes could have been put to better use by at least trying to give the kid(s) a suitable situation in which to come closer to meeting their potential. However, since the Earth is overpopulating and turning into a cesspool of pollution (to compliment the always polluted political situation), not breeding is also not necessarily a drawback.
That hasn't been a problem for a while http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assiste...ive_technology

The theory that homosexuality is an evolutionary response links it to exactly that, the risk of overpopulation and exhaustion of resources by the breeders. We are nature's contraceptive and that's not a bad thing.
Sammy Stones is offline  
post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old Jun 3rd, 2014, 08:53 PM
Senior Member
 
moby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 14,440
                     
Re: Coming to terms with your sexuality

I'm curious to hear stories with more details actually, from people who become aware of (and not just accept) their homosexuality later (i.e. late teens and beyond).

Because, how can you not know? What were you thinking before? I felt like I knew from a young age and it was simply a matter of being OK with it within myself.

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met./All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet - One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;/'My fragile leaves,' it said, 'his heart enclose.'
Love long has taken for his amulet/One perfect rose.
Why is it no one ever sent me yet/One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get/One perfect rose.
moby is offline  
post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old Jun 3rd, 2014, 09:04 PM
Senior Member
 
Haimar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Basque Country
Posts: 14,861
                     
Re: Coming to terms with your sexuality

We did a test at school about being gay or straight and for some reason I ticked off al the boxes for being gay, so I'm stuck with that now...

No for real, looking back on it there were clues for it when I was a little child (for some reason I liked to touch other boys' asses) but the realization became to come when I was around 10 years old and discovered pictures of penises on the internet. I was so fascinated by it but kept telling myself that that was just it and I would marry a girl. When I was 13 I met my current bf who came out to me but I kept saying that I wasn't gay while making out with him and stuff like that It took me another three years to come to terms with everything and then I gradually told everyone, never had any real problems with it.
Haimar is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome