Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sheffield, South Yorks
It's becoming a living hell now.
Grace is becoming power hungry. Because of her antics she has now got a huge Cambodian fanbase, I'd liken it to a plague of rampant uncontrollable locusts. There's no Rentokil in the cosmos that can kill em off.
Anyway, t'other day, whilst I was being barrowed around, I was pelted with whelks, barnacles, hermit crabs and various other shellfish whilst she was given gifts of beans and pulses which as you know... she covets greatly.
She then walked on top of a huge podium and declared herself queen of the world, whilst I was strapped into the barrow.
She then announced that my spell as her public barrowperson was over, and she was to sell me to a North Korean leadmine, ran by Aaron Carter, younger brother of Nick Carter who used to be in the Backstreet Boys... who, following his semi to not very successful pop career a few years back, I have now been told is a strict disciplinarian after having his entire mental state changed by side effect following a course of anti-jaundice pills, although I am informed his balls have yet to have dropped.
So it's off to Pyongyang I go!
"I'm like in a shop, looking for the right man, for me jigsaw, and believe you me, I'll f**king do it. I am the law." - Gary Hayward, Belper Town FC manager.