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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old May 17th, 2003, 02:39 PM Thread Starter
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Talking Some Fun Forward Jokes

http://www.funforwards.com/flash/may03/older_women.cfm

http://www.funforwards.com/jokes/jul...e_daughter.cfm
http://www.funforwards.com/jokes/jan...eeds_a_man.cfm

http://www.funforwards.com/jokes/aug...ngthesexes.cfm


Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 min.

Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual Harassment

Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.

Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down?
A: Marriage

Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common?
A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: Why are men like public toilets?
A: Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are full of crap.

Q: What is a man's view of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard.

Q: How do men sort their laundry?
A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"

Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.

Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A: The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen donuts.

Q: Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony?
A: The woman who ate the last donut.

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest breasts?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.

Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where the breasts went.

Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody


Men vs Women

The man discovered WEAPONS and invented HUNTING,
the woman discovered HUNTING and invented FURS.
The man discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT,
the woman discovered PAINT and invented MAKEUP.

The man discovered the WORD and invented CONVERSATION,
the woman discovered CONVERSATION and invented GOSSIP.
The man discovered GAMBLING and invented CARDS,
the woman discovered CARDS and invented WITCHERY.
The man discovered AGRICULTURE and invented FOOD,
the woman discovered FOOD and invented DIET.
The man discovered FRIENDSHIP and invented LOVE,
the woman discovered LOVE and invented MARRIAGE.

The man discovered WOMEN and invented SEX,
the woman discovered SEX and invented HEADACHES

Good luck in 2016 to my favs*Kuznetsova*Sharapova*Kleybanova*Vesnina*Shvedova*Kulichkova*Kasatkina*
Pavlyuchenkova*Makarova*Diatchenko*Pivovarova*Gasparyan*Leykina*Zhuk*Potapova*Pervushina*AZARENKA *Govortsova
MINELLA TsurenkoAlize Lim*El Tabakh*Robson*Cirstea
*Juhaszova*Zanevska*Broady*Bouchard*
Cetkovska*Svitolina*
Pliskova's*Rus*Bellis*Soylu*Sibille*Uberalova*Eden Silva*
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Last edited by TheBoiledEgg; May 17th, 2003 at 03:52 PM.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old May 17th, 2003, 04:22 PM
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LOL, thanks

Martina Hingis



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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old May 17th, 2003, 04:30 PM
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thanks

Good luck Dinara, Justine and Kim
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