Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Sheffield, South Yorks
Homage to the Microwave Oven. The best thing about radiation.
I'd be a lost soul without my microwave, (I pined for it when I almost blew up the last one by putting a samosa in it whilst pissed up, then going out of the room only to set the smoke alarms blaring off, waking a thoroughly irate dad who found charred remains of said samosa inside and a ruined microwave.) it's what radiation was invented for!
Microwaves heat food in extra quick time, we know this.... Stuff from Macaroni cheese right through to whole Beef dinners, pasta dishes and curries. Hey you could invite a girl back to your house and just bung your meal in the microwave from one of those trays... although I wouldn't recommend doing that, not unless you thought it was going a bit wrong and you wanted her to leave.
You can even get microwavable doner kebabs... Somerfield (UK Supermarket's) aren't bad (when I say not bad they can just about pass off as a kebab)...
But apart from food, what else can we use them for?
Surely not entertainment I hear you cry? Cry longer ye not, for thou will be chastened enlightenment forthwith.
1) The Green Grape Fireball Extravaganza.
Get a green grape (purple just don't work motha), and cut it in half (not fully in half tho) and place it in the microwave on a microwavable dish. Press it down to allow some juices to escape. Turn it on for 5 seconds.
Result - Balls of fire will eminate from the grape.
2) The Milk and the Lightbulb Show
Get a glass (normal size, not a pint glass) and fill it half way up with milk. Place a lightbulb (just yer ordinary lightbulb, doesn't matter what wattage or fitting (Bayonet or Screwcap), in the glass of milk. Put it in the microwave for three seconds.
Result. The lightbulb lights up.
3) The Remake of Tron on CD.
Get a CD. Preferably not a good one, just one of those ISP ones you get through the door, like AOL 500 hours trialcon, or a Duran Duran one. This time, just place it in the microwave and turn it on for three seconds.
Result - If you've ever seen Tron before, you'll know what I mean.
Of course the above three microwave things are highly dangerous if not done properly. I suggest you take the following precautions.
A) Use someone elses microwave (like your school sixth form common room, hey, thats what I did!)
B) Wear goggles (for eye safety or purely as a fashion statement)
c) Never put a smiley face in a microwave. If you do, it'll end up like the one in the attachment below.
Take care of yourselves, and respect the radiation.
"I'm like in a shop, looking for the right man, for me jigsaw, and believe you me, I'll f**king do it. I am the law." - Gary Hayward, Belper Town FC manager.