CKB is in the papers! : I'm expanding into other media, not just the Internet - TennisForum.com

 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 01:50 AM Thread Starter
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Thumbs up CKB is in the papers! : I'm expanding into other media, not just the Internet

I sent a letter to the Probe (and a couple of others) about a week ago. The Probe is a newspaper in Trinidad West Indies which describes itself as the 'best selling weekly blah blah"

they published my letter today, a transcript is below





Click here to view scan of letter page


Dear Sir

Re: A good will warning to the people of Trinidad

I am the Car Key Boi and I key cars. I am a true master when it comes to dragging my key against the shiny paint work of someone's car and adorning it with my artwork. I'm from Pasadena in California USA, but i'm currently on vacation in the Caribbean, and more specifically, I will be in Trinidad for the next three weeks. So in the spirit of the New Year, I'd like to wish yuorselves, and the good people of Trinidad, a happy and prosperous New Year, and also to inform the people, how they can prevent their car feeling the wrath of my key.

If there's one thing that the Car Key Boi cannot tolerate, it's vehicles with too much bling-bling, that's to say vehicles with too much chrome bull, such as exhaust tail pipes the size of a cannon, tacky chrome arches, those ridiculous rear light clusters and so forth. In addition, the ONE thing that is guaranteed to make me break out my best keying tool (my Swisstech Utili-Key) and go berserk on their door panel, is the offence of displaying a dangling CD disc from the rear view. What the hell is that all about? do those idiots think they actually look cool? cruising down the main road, with a 50 cents CD disc dangling from their rear view?? Well, it doesn't look cool, and if I see any vehicles displaying that obscene object, I'm going to have my way with that ride, and the Car Key Boi always makes the kill.

So to avoid my key, remove that damn 50 cents CD disc, and if yuo have too much bling-bling, try to be discreet with it. DO NOT display yuor car in full view of the parking lot with the ICE system at full blast and all the doors open. That kind of behavior is guaranteed to drive me insane, and sooner or later, like the night itself, I will creep into yuor neighborhood, key in hand, and proceed to carve out yuor door panel AND the hood, with long swooping scratches, evidence of my slow deliberate caresses, that will adorn yuor vehicle. Lacy curls of paint will lie piled on the ground, like lingerie at a lover's feet. In that moment, yuo will know that I had my way with yuor car, and by extension, with yuo.

And remember, if yuo find a small six inch line in yuor paint, that wasn't me. When I key yuor car, yuo'll know it.

- Car Key Boi
(a parking lot somewhere in Trinidad)
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 02:54 AM
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Car Key Boi, I think that you pasted your moniker on an article you scanned. Nice try...

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Will you be there?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 03:29 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally posted by TopShotta
Car Key Boi, I think that you pasted your moniker on an article you scanned. Nice try...
wtf???


what is so fake looking about this yuo dipshit?






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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 03:33 AM
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Nope, I think the article is genuine. Notice the "you" and "your" in the scanned paper as opposed to the posted text - as if an editor edited it.


Boy, some of your followers around here may think this is funny - but if this is genuine then it's actually a form of terrorism. A mild one, maybe - and aimed at some rather annoying people, I'll give you that - but still terrorism.

In which case you're a coward.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 04:04 AM Thread Starter
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Originally posted by Lynx
Nope, I think the article is genuine. Notice the "you" and "your" in the scanned paper as opposed to the posted text - as if an editor edited it.


Boy, some of your followers around here may think this is funny - but if this is genuine then it's actually a form of terrorism. A mild one, maybe - and aimed at some rather annoying people, I'll give you that - but still terrorism.

In which case you're a coward.




yes an editor has messed with my piece, i noticed that it was changed to English/Canadian spelling as in 'neighbourhood' with the extra 'u' and so forth

terrorism ?????

LOLLLLLLLLLL

if the editor really thought it was terrorism, even of a mild form, do yuo honestly think they would have published it?

they get bombarded with letters from all kinds of political freaks and extemists i.e. REAL terrorists, and yet those letters end up in the trashcan or passed on to the police, but they do NOT finish up in the paper

if yuo want to throw accusations around of terrorism, direct it at the editor (who i bet was pissing himself with laughter when he read it) because it was his decision to publish it, not mine

another thing, Nelissa (who sent me the scans) informed me that everyone in her bank where she works, stopped work for something like 20 minutes to crowd around her copy of the Probe, and they were ROTFLMAO

they are Trinis, and they didn't think of it as "terrorism"

- Car Key Boi
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 04:28 AM
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No boy, I'm not a student.
I know it's your tactic to try to belittle people who disagree with you, but I don't give a damn.

Whatever the decision of the editor, whatever the laughter of some Trinis who HAPPEN TO KNOW YOU, it is terrorism (ie trying to terrorize ppl with anonymous threats). Or don't you think some of those drivers you targetted will have believed you?

Whoever you target online knows he/she had nothing to fear. Here you actually adress a group of people you could reach. Terrorism.


If you don't think it is, then send a letter with the same content to the paper, sign it with you real name and address... and see if the police won't come for you.

But I'm pretty certain you won't dare, because you know VERY well it's terrorism. However mild.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 04:45 AM Thread Starter
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those Trinis do NOT know me, only Nelissa

AND, it was her colleagues who read the piece and it was THEIR laughter that brought Nelissa's attention to it and when she informed that she knew who the author was, they didn't beleive her, and it was only when she showed them my site that she was able to convince them

and not ONCE was there any calls from the Trinis to call the police

shit the Police themselves are reading it and pissing themselves with NO intention or desire to come looking for me

so STFU
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 05:08 AM
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It doesn't make any difference if those Trinis knew you or not. It doesn't surprise me they were laughing - the article is rather funny, like most of the things you write. And of course they wouldn't call the police, what a dumb argument is that? The moment they knew who you were, they also knew you as a friend of Nelissa.

I see you carefully avoid the essence or what I said: "Or don't you think some of those drivers you targetted will have believed you?"

Write that letter, sign it, or STFU yourself, boy.


Bye now.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 05:33 AM Thread Starter
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okay just for yuo, i'll send the the police a letter

i'm sure they're be only too willing to come after me

the fact that Trinis are on the verge on declaring a National Emergency because the murder rate in the past few months has risen to such a level that it makes NYC look like a safe haven, will not deter them from their duty

also

KNOW THIS

I want those Trini drivers to believe it, so okay, just for yuo, i will admit to being a terrorist

do yuo think i honestly give a shit? i am quite prepared to commit mass murder on the behalf of our country in order that our oil supply is secure, so the least of my concerns are that a few drivers in Trini are scared shitless that their piece of shit bling-bling mobiles are going to feel the wrath of my key
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 06:46 AM
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Well, what Yoshie said I always say that you're an asshole and I never find a funny part what you posted.


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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old Jan 18th, 2003, 10:31 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
CKB u know ur a real idiot ...
i may well be, but KNOW THIS, this idiot is older, more educated, more well traveled and more intelligent than YUO, and THAT is a FACT


Quote:
ur outlook on life as just one big joke is very sad ....
my outlook may well be very sad, but KNOW THIS, it's an outlook that has been shaped by my considerable - especially for someone of my age (29) - experiences of travelling around and working in the REAL world, as opposed to someone who's outlook is shaped by being in the company of left-wing student tards who spend all day trying to preach their ideals to those around them, while at the same time totally oblivious to their own hypocrisy

Quote:
i bet ur just some sad little fat kid sitting at home who leaves his computer so he can go watch some TV.
oh wouldn't yuo just love that to be the case, so that it would disqualify everything that i say that makes yuo uncomfortable, including my 'outlook' on war in Iraq and why when push comes to shove, the killing of the Iraqis and their kids is a necessity that we must do, and also, another thing that i bet makes yuo uncomfortable seeing as yuor a Dokictard, and i'm sure that yuo're one of the Dokictards who has witnessed my performance on tennisrulz, is that i showed that Jelena Dokic is a RACIST and especially she is HOMOPHOBIC and that is a FACT that yuo are refusing to accept because of YUOR sexuality.

For anyone who's interested in that last statement, here's the link to the "dark secrets" and how i was able to put together a case that no one could offer an intelligent argument against:

}}}JELENA DOKIC IS A RACIST & HOMOPHOBIC, EVERYONE CAN CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE INFO THEY NEED TO KNOW TO FORM THEIR OWN LOGICAL OPINION{{{

Quote:
And the website and all ... wat a load! You are really sad.
Agreed. I must spend more time on it and make it more diverse and include other stuff apart from just keying reports. Therefore i shall add a "CKB on War in Iraq" section

shall i do a "CKB on the uber-babe" section?
Quote:

Dont bothar replying with one of your seemingly unfunny remarks and ur excuses
awww shit, i only just read that and i've already typed out all of the above. Too late to quit now. The show must go on

Quote:
... ur an idiot and most of us know it.
interesting use of the phrase "most of us", can yuo support that statement? if yuo can i will PayPal yuo a 1000 bucks
Quote:

Its like a wise person once said "Sure they come and make a joke and we all laugh, but no sane person really likes them" ... actually I edited that quote a bit but who cares ... ur an idiot ... and I can see others realise this too.
At first I thought u were an idiot, I tried to see the funny side, but no ur not funny. Now I think ur a big idiot.
that is yuor own personal opinion and that is fine. But stating that yuor opinion is shared by "most of us", only shows yuo to be the total FUCKTARD that yuo are

that is all

- Car Key Boi
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