When I am 64.. - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 02:04 PM Thread Starter
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When I am 64..

Well, it is not exactly about age of 64.. It's about getting old and perception of it. I am very far from it, many decades, hopefully, but today when swimming in a gym in the morning I accidentally bumped into a couple of old farts, doing that silly aquawalk excersize, and the thought that one day I might become like them crossed my mind. And not that I liked that thought.. So I thought, maybe there is some boundary, naturally different for all people, beyond which it doesn't make sense living longer..

Before I continue, lets cut the crap. I would kindly ask all people who tend to get cynical ( like CKB ), either abstain from participating or abstain from any cynicism. Also, I would also ask any people who would be basing their opinions or arguments on any demagogic, irrational, and especially religious, postulates, not to participate too. At least, I would really like not to see any flavours of "We should live as long as God allows us" here. This is not about speaking nice and beautiful things. It's about trying to understand what other people really *THINK* about that. Because, obviously, this question has no answers.

OK, lets think about what is it being old.. From your own prospective. You can no longer enjoy movements and strength of your own body because it becomes weak and not obeying. You can no longer enjoy someone's else body, obviously. But what is the worst, your mind (logics, memory, everything ) is deteriorating, and you might be not even realising that. You might become trouble for other people, and they would pity you, and won't tell you that. That's the prospective that really horrifies me. I look at older people and the first thing that comes to my mind is pity. Would you like others to pity you? What's a point of living old, being decrepit? What would you be doing? Watching TV all day long? Spending your time chatting with old farts just like yourself? Creating nothing, giving nothing to society, being useless old wreck.


Now, lets think about what other would think about that, how others would think about you being old.

Suppose, you are old and poor. That means pity again.. Other than that. Imagine that you are old and you die. Lets think about that not in short term, but rather in integral prospective. Of course, first couple of weeks, it will be mourning, they will be thinking about you, but after that it all will gradually go. And in five years it won't really matter for them that if you died four years ago instead of five, you'd have lived one year longer. No difference, except that because you died 5 years ago, you saved them an year of caring about you (because you are poor and you needed help ), tolerating your weak and whimsical mind, pitying you. And as a bonus, they remember you being one year younger, and who knows what you could turn into during that year.

Now suppose you are old and rich. All the same stands, except that if you die one year earlier, it will give your younger heirs one extra year ( and the best year of all ) to use what they would inherit from you for their own success.

All in all, it comes to the point that when you are really old, in long-term prospective, it is better for your relatives if you die sooner rather than late, no matter how they love. Did I miss something?

So, if this is correct, while I am young I'd better define some attributes, by appearance of which I would know that it is time to go.. How would I do that? Suicide doesn't make much sense. But when you are geting really old, trying to keep the same lifestyle as before, like when you were younger, ignoring your age, trying to keep up with younger people will kill you very reliably and quickly.
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 02:07 PM
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Worrying so much will make you old before your time! Be young! Be free! And most of all, don't be afraid to have fun and enjoy yourself!
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 02:10 PM Thread Starter
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I am not worried, I am just thinking and trying to understand Life.. You read a book, you think about that. You watch that long play named Life, and every episode makes you think again. That's what it all about..

"..just knowing that as long as i choose life, there is hope."

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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 02:12 PM
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yeah, I'm afraid of growing old too. but I think that if you live a healthy life style, you can at least hope to age gracefully... no? and I do see a lot of happy elderly people (although I also see a lot that seem unhappy). I think if you have reasonable health, and a loving family around you, you can enjoy these years. my grandparents on my mom's side are in very good shape. they take walks every day, go to the beach almost every day, babysit my little cousins the way they used to babysit us, my grandma sings in a band, my grandpa takes lessons in University... it doesn't look so bad. it's all about keeping in good shape, and saving enough so that you can live respectfully, I think.

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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 02:18 PM
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You say "You can no longer enjoy someone's else body, obviously". I don't agree... you can be old and have sex too you know

Getting old doesn't really frighten me...I'm only scared that there will be so many things in life I never experienced, things I want to do, see when I'm old (and which can't be done at this age)..
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 08:28 PM
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I work in a nursing home, where old age is finally realized for many people the day they are admitted here....

It's interesting - I'm 23 and seeing how people adjust. I think knowing the reality of becoming older, I have become more secure with doing it myself. I marvel at some of the people's knowledge and perception of life.

Then, there are some that have Dementia or Alzheimers and don't know what's going on - but the truth is, because they don't know what's going on, nothing can hurt them.

Am I making sense? lol


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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 09:00 PM Thread Starter
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Then, there are some that have Dementia or Alzheimers and don't know what's going on - but the truth is, because they don't know what's going on, nothing can hurt them.
That's exactly what I am talking about. While you are still in healthy mind, what do you think about this possibly happening to you? I mean, psychos and schizophrenics also don't know who they are and completely happy. But do you envy their happiness?

"..just knowing that as long as i choose life, there is hope."

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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 09:03 PM
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"psychos and schizophrenics also don't know who they are and completely happy"

what?

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of the truth
To the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along
By the river of dreams
In the middle of the night
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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 10:04 PM
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ys - dementia varies widely

One lady cries and screams ALL DAY LONG.....non-stop and is completely unhappy.

Another lady is always singing, playing the piano, and saying, "Yeah, we're going to the beach today....uh huh!"

So dementia can vary, but I do understand your point of dementia patients not knowing reality.

I guess my point is, that I have just learned the beauty in growing old -- I know you didn't want any philosophical thought in here -- but it doesn't bother me. I mean...that is the only thing that can make me secure.


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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 13th, 2003, 10:55 PM
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Out of this world lead many paths. If a man chooses to be old that means he`s satisfied with his life. Every person has a gift of choice: all people born in the same way and die differently. I personally think that life is just a way to find the kind of death most suitable to you. So I don`t bother with what other people thinking getting old. I have my own path.
Not quite the answer to your question though

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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 14th, 2003, 12:32 AM
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I'm only scared of disease like alzheimers and osteoporosis and stuff and I guess also feeling pain. Otherwise I'm comfortable with old age and even death.

I just don't want to live in pain when I'm living. That's why I support euthanasia too, I don't think people should be made to live in pain if they don't want to anymore.
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old Jan 14th, 2003, 01:08 AM
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growing old? one of my worst nightmares that will come true unless i commit suicide before that happens

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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old Dec 11th, 2005, 10:07 AM
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I'm not too bothered by growing old, it's more the fact that at some point I know my mobility will be affected and so I'll have to start relying on others to help me etc. I could find that to be very demoralising especially if I've spent my life previously all happy and independent, the lack of mobility would frustrate I would think...
I would also hate to lose my mind eg: memory, reasoning, senile dementia etc, as I have worked in Residential homes as well and you can plainly see how horrid and frustrating it is for someone when they can't remember what they were just doing, or they try and tell you a story but get lost in the middle of it. It plainly upsets them as I think in their brain they know what they want to be doing/saying/thinking but the physical body just ain't co-operating.

But personally I figure I'll do all I can now to first make the most of my youth/mobility/health etc and also prepare myself for later by keeping physically active/mentally active now so my brain/body is primed for later life. Something I find worse then myself getting old is the thought that my parents are getting closer to old age, and that brings the potential of degenerative disorders like alzheimers etc. No idea how people cope with parents etc with alzheimers, it must be so hard.

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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old Dec 11th, 2005, 11:10 AM
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Of course, you can also raise children and pressure them to become a famous, say, tennis player. (When you're 64, they probably won't need you, but you can live off them.)

- Ivan

Last edited by (...); Dec 12th, 2005 at 07:42 PM.
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old Dec 11th, 2005, 11:18 AM
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were not here, well ill rephrase - IM not here to think about life and what lifes all about because i dont think were gonna find the answer anytime soon. The only thing i can do is enjoy my life and live my life to the full and do all the things that i wanna do before i eventually pop my clogs

Dont stew over what lifes about and thinking too much bla bla bla, just get on with life and have some fun

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