In This Thread, we list things that suck about elevators - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 17th, 2002, 09:52 PM Thread Starter
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In This Thread, we list things that suck about elevators

I'll start off with

When yuo are waiting for an elevator, an asshole walking in front of yuo and standing right in front of the doors, basically 1 cm. away

When yuo are about to get *in* the elevator, some asshole running and getting in front of yuo

When yuo are exiting an elevator, another asshole trying to get in before letting yuo get out

(Worst of them all) a fucktard repeatedly pressing the elevator button, as if doing so will, in fact, make the elevator come faster

Farting. Unless it's yuo who's done the deed
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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 17th, 2002, 09:58 PM
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Well, I know from personal experience that pressing the button continuously until it arrives works. It really does arrive faster. The elevator has to know I mean business and then it gets used to my touch so after awhile, I do not have to press it more than once, because it knows NOT to keep me waiting. Another annoying move I pull is getting off on the lowest floor where I could have walked, just to irritate others waiting to get to higher floors. I enjoy elevator torture, I guess it's my guilty pleasure. But pressing the button numerous times does work!
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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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yeah i do that, not the repeated pressing of the button, THAT doesn't work, but the getting out of the elevator on the second floor (after getting aboard at the Lobby), noticing the uptight fucker CEO-type who needs to go to the 42 floor, and pressing buttons 3-41 on your way out.

a classic
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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 05:22 AM
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OK. Very slow elevators are bad. Badly lit elevators with huge mirrors are also bad. Very small elevators crammed full of people are also bad. People who get into elevators which are already too full are annoying. I really don't like being jammed up close to strange people, so I prefer stairs Elevators that creak and groan and sound like they are about to break down are bad. Elevators that smell like old McDonalds hamburgers are bad. Also, when you are in a crowded elevator, about to go up and as the door closes someone with a suitcase runs towards the elevator... and someone in there holds the door, and then it's closing and it happens again... let them get the next one!
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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 05:24 AM
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Elevators suck cos I never get stuck in one with a really hot chick
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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 02:35 PM Thread Starter
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Next time someone pisses yuo off on an elevator, try this:

1) Put on yuor best psychopathic grin and thousand yard stare.

2) Pull out a steel, retractable ball point pen (the click type work best)

3) Turn to the offending party and say, in yuor best Hannibal Lecter voice, "I could drive this pen into yuor juggular vein right now, and there isn't a thing yuo can do to stop me"

4) Stand closely behind them and click the pen. Repeatedly.
Although this works best if there's only one other person in the elevator, it could be fun in a crowded elevator as well.
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 02:54 PM
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Irritating Elevator Issues:

The cheesy ass Muzak.
The stinky body odor offender.
The uncomfortable silence.
The forced chatter.
The crummy mirrored doors that make even the skinniest people look Roseanne Barr size..

All for now.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 02:57 PM
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I don't like elevators either. Why?

* I have a fear of plunging to my death from one
* I have a fear of being trapped in the door
* I have a fear of being trapped in one
* I don't like it when people run for one - I mean, why on earth not just wait for the next one?

And, taking the stairs is THE healthier option...

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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 03:14 PM
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'Scuse, but how exactly would one get trapped in the door?
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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 03:17 PM
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Clothing? Your clothing gets trapped in the door and you encounter a gruesome death?

Maybe I have an overactive imagination...

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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 18th, 2002, 03:19 PM
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What I always hated about elevators, is once you get to that certain floor that you wanted, right before the doors open, the elevator just kinda drops for like 2 seconds, and then the door opens But that drop is really unneccessary


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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2002, 11:24 AM
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I don't like that bit either, Brooke... In fact, the ELEVATOR is completely unnecessary!! Take the stairs people!! I also hate escalators (I have a real escalator phobia) - it's a wonder I don't have a zillion panic attacks in these places... *cough*

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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2002, 11:25 AM
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going up the escalator isnt bad.......but going down..............

And then there's always that fear of getting your clothes caught *shudders*


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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2002, 11:31 AM
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Oh yes! Oh yes! I had a bad experience on a London Underground escalator going down once - I HATE them!! I saw part of this film once in which a girl was swallowed up by an escalator after her clothing became trapped and there was nothing left but blood and hair and ripped clothing...

I didn't stick around to watch the rest...

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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old Dec 19th, 2002, 11:46 AM
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I love elevators! Esp. the ones @ really posh hotels! Most of them have mirrors so I always get the chance to drool @ myself (just kidding) and the classical music is also great to relax.

Nobody´s perfect ... but me.

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