31 Things Twinks Like... - TennisForum.com
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
Flawless
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,572
                     
Exclamation 31 Things Twinks Like...

i. cant. breath.

31 Things Twinks Like

31 Things Twinks Like
JAN. 1, 2013 By MADISON MOORE

1) Dancing in a cage at the club. Dancing in bikini briefs at the club.

2) Foam parties.

3) Being COMPLETELY hairless, which to me is a little scary/alien looking. A crotch is supposed to have SOME hair on it, Jesus.

4) Being the center of attention/adored by everyone.

5) Tanlines. No, not the band.

6) Poppin’ they booties. What some twinks can do with their booties is absolutely breathtaking. BEHOLD:




7) Twinks populate every ethnicity — there are black twinks, white twinks, AZN twinks, and so forth. But no matter their level of melanin, you’ll always know a twink by their unnaturally blonde hair. That’s because twinks are like Twinkies — soft and blonde on the outside, but stuffed with a certain creamy filling that’s just waiting to be let out.

8) The drag show on Thirsty Thursdays.

9) Emoticons.

10) Swoopy Justin Bieber bangs — with highlights. Eyebrows teased to eternity.

11) Stripper poles. Twinks are magically born knowing exactly how to interact with a stripper pole.

12) Brent Corrigan. Max Ryder. Jake Bass. Dillon Rossi. Sean Cody. Bel Ami. Porn featuring other twinks with titles like “Twenty Twinks,” “Euro Twink Feet,” and “Office Twinks.”

13) Bros and “straight-acting” guys.

14) Working at mall stores like Wet Seal. If you see a twink working at the local Wet Seal, you KNOW boyfriend knows how to work an outfit miss honey, yaaass. Stick with him because he will show you the hottest pieces in the store.

15) Lip gloss. I said my lip gloss is cool, my lip gloss be poppin. I’m standing at my locker, and all the boys keep on stoppin.


16) Underwear with the ass cut out.

17) Being a V.I.B — a Very Important Beauty Insider at Sephora.

18) Gossip, since it allows the twink to say “gurrrrl” over and over.

19) White guys.

20) Staying pretty and innocent-looking. The whole point of twinkdom is holding onto your youth.

21) Astroglide! If it’s good enough for space shuttles, it’s good enough for some nice, ribald butt sex.

22) Having tattoos of stars on the wrist, on the neck and — yes — on the ass.

23) Wearing sunglasses at night. At the club.

24) Going to brunch and having mimoossaaaaas.

25) Fabulous pants. Designer handbags.

26) TyPiNG aLl TeXt MEssAgEs lIkE THis OMG yAy!!!

27) Dramatic reality shows like America’s Next Top Model, RuPaul’s Drag Race. Wishing they were the bitchy judge on the show, giving all those wannabes the real tea.

28) Gymnastics. Soccer. Swimming. These “sports” allow the twink to remain just toned enough without venturing out into muscle queen territory.

29) Being — or working to appear — between the ages of 14-25. Once you start aging, gaining weight and letting that hair grow in full force, it’s all down hill. Just throw in the towel.

30) Juice cleanses. Kegels.

31) Bottoming — although not every twink is a bottom, as a simple Google search will reveal.

Jelena Jankovic
- She used to know how to play tennis...
Jumping over career opportunities since 2006...
As her fans watch in awe at her ability to fuck that up...

Victoria Azarenka ~ Venus Williams
Maria Kirilenko ~ Petra Kvitova
VeeJJ is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 08:31 PM
Senior Member
 
Kairi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19,102
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Kairi is offline  
post #3 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 09:27 PM
Senior Member
 
Pump-it-UP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 26,863
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Only 2, 4, 6, 13 (!!!!), 18, and 30.
Pump-it-UP is offline  
post #4 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 2nd, 2013, 09:34 PM
*Sesil*
 
KournikovaFan91's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Éire
Posts: 19,358
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

hilarious
KournikovaFan91 is online now  
post #5 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:25 PM
Senior Member
 
ElusiveChanteuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 82,319
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

oh my that booty popping white guy.
ElusiveChanteuse is offline  
post #6 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 12:53 PM
Senior Member
 
Helen Lawson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Waiting for Shirley
Posts: 19,063
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

You forgot their favourite "uniform"--the white leather pants, white clogs, and white phone.

Whitney Houston and her receipts:

http://www.tennisforum.com/showthrea...17447&page=324
Helen Lawson is offline  
post #7 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:13 PM
Senior Member
 
Nicolás89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 19,978
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

That video is hypnotic.

LEGEND. Nicole. Caro. Aga. Sloane. Taylor.
Nicolás89 is offline  
post #8 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:16 PM
Senior Member
 
Kairi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19,102
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pump-it-UP View Post
Only 2, 4, 6, 13 (!!!!), 18, and 30.
Don't act like you didn't see 31...
Kairi is offline  
post #9 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:36 PM
Senior Member
 
~{X}~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In The N.Y.C.
Posts: 21,191
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

God I do some of the shit on that list but this bitch is no twink, believe that.

I'm more like a... well processed twinkie.

SERENA 21 GRAND SLAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOZNIACKI BOUCHARD VENUS
~{X}~ is offline  
post #10 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 01:43 PM
Senior Member
 
Kairi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 19,102
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

More like a bundt cake..
Kairi is offline  
post #11 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 02:05 PM
Senior Member
 
~{X}~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: In The N.Y.C.
Posts: 21,191
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by A.K.B. View Post
More like a bundt cake..
True...

I got curves... maybe too many.

But I won't deny and I won't lie, I am me and you get what you see.

SERENA 21 GRAND SLAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOZNIACKI BOUCHARD VENUS
~{X}~ is offline  
post #12 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 02:29 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 15,902
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

If you are over 25 you can no longer be a twink. Just "throw in the towel" already.
LeRoy. is offline  
post #13 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 02:58 PM
Gone with the Wind fabulous!
 
LoveFifteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,457
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

@ working at Wet Seal
LoveFifteen is offline  
post #14 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
Flawless
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,572
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveFifteen View Post
@ working at Wet Seal
!!!!!!!

Jelena Jankovic
- She used to know how to play tennis...
Jumping over career opportunities since 2006...
As her fans watch in awe at her ability to fuck that up...

Victoria Azarenka ~ Venus Williams
Maria Kirilenko ~ Petra Kvitova
VeeJJ is offline  
post #15 of 54 (permalink) Old Jan 3rd, 2013, 05:41 PM
blurring the lines between the real and the fake
 
V-MAC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 24,336
                     
Re: 31 Things Twinks Like...

No.12 is strange...the first three are stereotypical twinkie porn stars but Dillon Rossi isn't at all
This list is broken

V-MAC is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Image Verification
Please enter the six letters or digits that appear in the image opposite.

Registration Image

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome