Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging? - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 11:30 AM Thread Starter
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Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

My 26 year old sister...she's always been a rash decision maker (with purchases, education, etc.) but since she had a stillbirth April last year it's really come to a head. She's moving in with someone soon that she's been dating for one month. She did the same thing a few months earlier with someone else. She was dating them even less time I think, and she moved in with them.

She's not stupid, but in this case she's acting like it and the rest of the family don't know what to do. She told us to butt out anyway, so I've decided to do that. I've made my opinion clear, now if she wants to mess up her life how I am going to stop her?

Sorry, kinda needed to rant .
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 11:39 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Sit back, enjoy the car crash and when she finally comes to her senses you'll be able to take sweet satisfaction in saying "I told you so."
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 11:41 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Well. I know someone who isn't fixing his abusive relationship with his literally (and mentally) unstable friend.

His friend is gay, he isn't. His friend apparently did something to him which my friend has never been able to talk about because I think it's mentally scarred him for life. He tells me all the time how insane his friend is (must meet up everyday, talks about his lifetime Showtime stories every day and in repeat, sleeps at 6 in the morning, wakes up at 8. Even his psychiatrist is considering admitting him into a psych ward).

I tell him that he needs to stand up for himself because his crazy friend is the one who is dependent, not him. He tells me that he's scared his friend will commit suicide. And I kinda don't know how to reason with that one. It's gotten quite frustrating because I can't do anything. And what's worse is that my friend's life has been so affected by it: his personal life (try meeting up everyday after work and getting home by 10-11), and his career (must leave by 5 or else he ends up home later than 11).

But I truly believe that his friend is mentally losing it and I'm afraid my friend is going down with him. But I can't fix it because I can't fix something that doesn't want to be fixed.


Yes, upon reading this, it sounds like I made it up in my dark and twisted mind. But no, it's true. I am witnessing a train wreck in the works.

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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 11:41 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Do I know anybody who isn't self-sabotaging?

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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 12:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Cherry. View Post
Sit back, enjoy the car crash and when she finally comes to her senses you'll be able to take sweet satisfaction in saying "I told you so."
I'm not the one who's really affected though (my poor Mother is) as she's also messing up a perfectly good flatting situation by moving in with this Jenny-Come-Lately (my sister is bi ), and when it all goes wrong, guess where she'll want to come back to? My Mum's house.

I think my Mum's finally had enough and won't let her back but my Mum for lack of a better word has been a bit of a doormat for cleaning up after my sister and her antics in the past .
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 01:18 PM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Shes adult, isn't she ? Leave her alone If I'd care about my brother that much I'd go mad (but well, I AM mad...I assume normal people don't go to looney bin )

I'm alaways right, even when Im wrong...
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 12th, 2012, 01:35 PM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

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Originally Posted by delicatecutter View Post
Do I know anybody who isn't self-sabotaging?
This.

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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 13th, 2012, 12:47 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Alright well I sent her a PM with some 'home truths' in it and told her exactly how I felt, now I'll just sit back and watch it unfold 'cause there's nothing more I can do .

I lost sleep over this issue last night . No more. I've made me peace .
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 13th, 2012, 01:26 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eck View Post
Well. I know someone who isn't fixing his abusive relationship with his literally (and mentally) unstable friend.

His friend is gay, he isn't. His friend apparently did something to him which my friend has never been able to talk about because I think it's mentally scarred him for life. He tells me all the time how insane his friend is (must meet up everyday, talks about his lifetime Showtime stories every day and in repeat, sleeps at 6 in the morning, wakes up at 8. Even his psychiatrist is considering admitting him into a psych ward).

I tell him that he needs to stand up for himself because his crazy friend is the one who is dependent, not him. He tells me that he's scared his friend will commit suicide. And I kinda don't know how to reason with that one. It's gotten quite frustrating because I can't do anything. And what's worse is that my friend's life has been so affected by it: his personal life (try meeting up everyday after work and getting home by 10-11), and his career (must leave by 5 or else he ends up home later than 11).

But I truly believe that his friend is mentally losing it and I'm afraid my friend is going down with him. But I can't fix it because I can't fix something that doesn't want to be fixed.


Yes, upon reading this, it sounds like I made it up in my dark and twistted mind. But no, it's true. I am witnessing a train wreck in the works.
It just sounds like to me your friend is being supportive of his friend who's going through a dark time.

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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 13th, 2012, 01:33 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

She sounds like peak Chokenport pushing the self destruction button at important life moments

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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 13th, 2012, 03:53 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Quote:
Originally Posted by lympyisthebest View Post
It just sounds like to me your friend is being supportive of his friend who's going through a dark time.
This is not a phase of his life. He has been having issues ever since they've met. And I haven't even said the worst parts yet. His friend calls my friend stupid, useless etc. (demeaning stuff) and I can see my friend has lost all sense of self-confidence in himself. And he actually even managed to make my friend cry in public before because of some physical altercations several times.

Also this guy is not working, not studying. He freaks out over the simplest of chores (ie. vacuuming his dirty house, having a moth in his house etc.) At one point he called my friend up at 1 am because there's a moth in his house and he actually wanted my friend to go over to shoo the moth out.

I mean I know he's being supportive, but isn't there a limit?

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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 19th, 2012, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Small update. Long story short she's deleted us from FB now . She also deleted my sister and Dad a while back. This bitch she's got as a FB friend was talking all this shit about us when she doesn't even know us. And of course my sister listens to her because she tells her everything she wants to hear and us evil family members who know her well are telling it like it is .
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 19th, 2012, 12:04 AM
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Me.

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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old Nov 19th, 2012, 12:11 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Do you know anybody kind of self-sabotaging?

Forgot to add she's gone so far as to change her cellphone # now too .
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