Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment! - Page 7 - TennisForum.com
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #91 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2012, 12:51 PM
Amateur Volleyer
 
Pump-it-UP's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 29,851
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Hmm....
Pump-it-UP is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #92 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2012, 06:57 PM
Senior Member
 
Nicolás89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 19,972
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by moby View Post
This thread is the best.
This thread needs you.

LEGEND. Nicole. Caro. Aga. Sloane. Taylor.
Nicolás89 is offline  
post #93 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2012, 08:19 PM
Look who's back!
 
Sean.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 32,451
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by égalité View Post
So maybe I'm going to be a debbie downer, but I started dating this absolutely gorgeous guy who has really severe body image issues, and I'm not always sure what to say. Has anyone had to deal with this before, either from a partner or from yourself? I'm trying not to go overboard with complimenting his appearance because I think it makes him uncomfortable, but at the same time I want to reassure him that he's fucking hot and that everyone thinks so except him. I'm quite certain the issues stem from a really bad family situation but I don't want to pry too much into that. IDK, I just don't want it to be a negative force in the relationship and I haven't had to deal with it before. Advice/experiences to share, anyone?
I suggest you suggest to him that he takes some professional help. If someone has some serious self esteem issues, they're not going to listen no matter how much you tell them they've got nothing to worry about. It's something they have to work through themselves, and a councillor will know how to help them do that.



Vera Zvonareva * Ana Ivanović * Li Na * Laura Robson ......
Sean. is offline  
post #94 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2012, 08:21 PM
nothing else compares
 
Dav.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 19,566
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean. View Post
I suggest you suggest to him that he takes some professional help. If someone has some serious self esteem issues, they're not going to listen no matter how much you tell them they've got nothing to worry about. It's something they have to work through themselves, and a councillor will know how to help them do that.
Anxiety can be very debilitating and it sounds to me like he may have GAD, but he definitely needs to seek therapy if it has become as serious as the other poster described. Otherwise, the anxiety typically progresses and more attacks will develop.

Dav. is offline  
post #95 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 9th, 2012, 08:50 PM
Senior Member
 
Mixal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,985
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeeJJ View Post
I like gay guys, but ones you can't tell are gay, so very manly masculine ones. I only date fit to muscular guys...

I dated this guy with crazy insecurity issues about his image.
How surprising.

Dying Venus
Mixal is offline  
post #96 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 10th, 2012, 03:35 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,344
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Why?

Hi, I'm Dillon 👋🏻 I'm cool 😎 Tennis player and fanatic. 😍🎾 IG:colorfullyplain 😼

Venus Williams is Flawless
Jelena Jankovic is a Legend.
Serena Williams is the Greatest.
...Kim can come too.
VeeJJ is offline  
post #97 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 10th, 2012, 05:10 PM
Senior Member
 
melodynelson's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 965
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Personally, I don't really pursue anyone unless they do express enough interest in me. I'm always casual, but if I don't see that they respond to me much, or don't initiate much, if ever, then I kind of let it go. And I see nothing wrong with casual dating with several people at once, you're testing the waters. When you meet someone and you click, it happens.

I've never found a boyfriend by actually looking, though, it just kind of falls into place or happens. Searching something long term is just too much energy spent.

Que la joie soit écrite sur le monde et le ciel au-dessus.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elena Dementieva
At the press conference I was asked a really good question - they asked if I thought Martina Hingis helped me to win this tournament last year by beating Maria Sharapova in the semifinals. I said "Don't you think so?"
melodynelson is offline  
post #98 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 10th, 2012, 08:49 PM
Senior Member
 
Kasey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,202
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Just wanted to say ........team Justin
Kasey is offline  
post #99 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 10th, 2012, 08:54 PM
Senior Member
 
Nicolás89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 19,972
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Any update VeeJJ?

LEGEND. Nicole. Caro. Aga. Sloane. Taylor.
Nicolás89 is offline  
post #100 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 11th, 2012, 06:00 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,344
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Things are shifting in favor of Team Justin, but in James' defense he was in Dallas the past week or so. Justin is showing more initiative which is good but he's communication is a bit more inconsistent than I'd like. I straight up told him he needs to figure out a date for us and he said he was on it. So we shall see. That date should be this weekend. Reluctance has a limit. James I haven't really pressed yet but I'm gonna try and beef up communication and see how he responds.

Randomness occurred Monday though. A guy from my past randomly showed up. And when I say past I mean we hookup a few months ago. i told him I wasn't interested ion any of that anymore. He immediately asked for a date inwhich immediately called him out and said "it doesn't matter what you do I'm not gonna have sex with you" but he still wanted a date. And he was all set about it to. So he's booked for Thursday. Names Rich. Though this may scream that he obviously wants some ass. last time we met up after the sex we ended up having this super long conversation just about each others lives and kinda clicked. but he left for work and now he's back in town. Most likely a dead end but it can't hurt.

My goal is to be able to recap all this by monday assuming things start to get going on all fronts by the end of this week.

Hi, I'm Dillon 👋🏻 I'm cool 😎 Tennis player and fanatic. 😍🎾 IG:colorfullyplain 😼

Venus Williams is Flawless
Jelena Jankovic is a Legend.
Serena Williams is the Greatest.
...Kim can come too.
VeeJJ is offline  
post #101 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 12th, 2012, 12:27 AM
Senior Member
 
Nicolás89's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 19,972
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeeJJ View Post
Things are shifting in favor of Team Justin, but in James' defense he was in Dallas the past week or so. Justin is showing more initiative which is good but he's communication is a bit more inconsistent than I'd like. I straight up told him he needs to figure out a date for us and he said he was on it. So we shall see. That date should be this weekend. Reluctance has a limit. James I haven't really pressed yet but I'm gonna try and beef up communication and see how he responds.

Randomness occurred Monday though. A guy from my past randomly showed up. And when I say past I mean we hookup a few months ago. i told him I wasn't interested ion any of that anymore. He immediately asked for a date inwhich immediately called him out and said "it doesn't matter what you do I'm not gonna have sex with you" but he still wanted a date. And he was all set about it to. So he's booked for Thursday. Names Rich. Though this may scream that he obviously wants some ass. last time we met up after the sex we ended up having this super long conversation just about each others lives and kinda clicked. but he left for work and now he's back in town. Most likely a dead end but it can't hurt.

My goal is to be able to recap all this by monday assuming things start to get going on all fronts by the end of this week.
No it can't, just your ass apparently.

Why are you able to be so straight up with this new guy but you can't do the same with Justin or James?

LEGEND. Nicole. Caro. Aga. Sloane. Taylor.
Nicolás89 is offline  
post #102 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 12th, 2012, 03:39 AM
Senior Member
 
shap_half's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: New York
Posts: 15,463
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

My last couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful, and I knew that trolling through TF's NT pages will bring some the necessary respite. Lo and behold, this thread exists.

My feedback back for the OP: Dating is hard. I find that if someone isn't behaving according to the expectations I have of them, and I'm getting flustered or upset that I just need to calm my shit down, because those negative feelings aren't about them, they're about me and my emotional instability. You say it's not your first time at the rodeo, but at the end of the day, we all stick with the same behavioral patterns whether we're dating for the first time or for the hundredth. Meaning, I would wager you were doing the very same things with the first guy you liked that you are now. Anyway, point is, if someone likes you, he will make it known. Even when I try to play it cool and keep it coy, I can't. If I like someone and want to spend more time with them, I just make the effort to do so. I don't know how old you are, but if your main concern when it comes to dating is to find a lasting relationship, you're gonna need to behave like it. If two people are attracted to and want to spend more time with one another, both should actually work on making everything work.

But really as someone who thought he seriously liked five different men since June 4th, I may not be counted on to give suitable dating advice.

Last edited by shap_half; Jul 12th, 2012 at 03:56 AM.
shap_half is offline  
post #103 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 12th, 2012, 11:57 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,344
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matías. View Post
No it can't, just your ass apparently.

Why are you able to be so straight up with this new guy but you can't do the same with Justin or James?
I have been straight up with them. I'm straight up with everyone. They know what I'm looking for. And if they just want sex they can kick rocks.

Hi, I'm Dillon 👋🏻 I'm cool 😎 Tennis player and fanatic. 😍🎾 IG:colorfullyplain 😼

Venus Williams is Flawless
Jelena Jankovic is a Legend.
Serena Williams is the Greatest.
...Kim can come too.
VeeJJ is offline  
post #104 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 13th, 2012, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
VeeJJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,344
                     
Question Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Quote:
Originally Posted by shap_half View Post
My last couple of weeks have been incredibly stressful, and I knew that trolling through TF's NT pages will bring some the necessary respite. Lo and behold, this thread exists.

My feedback back for the OP: Dating is hard. I find that if someone isn't behaving according to the expectations I have of them, and I'm getting flustered or upset that I just need to calm my shit down, because those negative feelings aren't about them, they're about me and my emotional instability. You say it's not your first time at the rodeo, but at the end of the day, we all stick with the same behavioral patterns whether we're dating for the first time or for the hundredth. Meaning, I would wager you were doing the very same things with the first guy you liked that you are now. Anyway, point is, if someone likes you, he will make it known. Even when I try to play it cool and keep it coy, I can't. If I like someone and want to spend more time with them, I just make the effort to do so. I don't know how old you are, but if your main concern when it comes to dating is to find a lasting relationship, you're gonna need to behave like it. If two people are attracted to and want to spend more time with one another, both should actually work on making everything work.

But really as someone who thought he seriously liked five different men since June 4th, I may not be counted on to give suitable dating advice.
Girl you sound just as much of a mess as me. And i get what you're saying. I've said the same thing to my friends. Saying and applying are different things. And breaking a behavior pattern or even modifying it takes time. If it was so easy everyone would be perfect and this would be a wonderful life.

Hi, I'm Dillon 👋🏻 I'm cool 😎 Tennis player and fanatic. 😍🎾 IG:colorfullyplain 😼

Venus Williams is Flawless
Jelena Jankovic is a Legend.
Serena Williams is the Greatest.
...Kim can come too.
VeeJJ is offline  
post #105 of 910 (permalink) Old Jul 13th, 2012, 12:46 AM
La Divina Assoluta
 
The Dawntreader's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 11,135
                     
Re: Dating Thread - Ranting, Bitching, Story-telling, Advice, and of course Judgment!

Dating is all about acting to some extent. Especially if you're content on not destroying a friendly dynamic that occurs in the initial stages. Once you get more intimate, you can start to become more expressive and demanding of your own personality to do most of the work.

If by that time, the person still isn't your 'ideal', then you should just abort it.
The Dawntreader is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome