Question About My Sexuality - TennisForum.com
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:14 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Tennisation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,870
                     
Question About My Sexuality

Yes I know, it's another one of those threads. Unlike the others, this one is not about coming out. So once upon a time I used to be straight (honest to God). When I was much younger like in 6th or 7th grade, I would masturbate thinking about my music teacher's big boobs and had the hots for Madonna back in the days. Then sometime somewhere in middle school I changed team. I wasn't even bi, I honestly don't know what the fuck happened I just completely became attracted to guys eversince. I know for a fact that I'm gay and is totally fine with my sexuality. As also proven around this forum that I'm pretty open about being gay. I've been in a relationship with my bf for several years now and we've been stable. Eversince I knew I was gay, no girl has ever crossed my mind sexually. Then recently, I met this girl in school and I'm totally crushing on her. I've only known her for about 3 weeks actually. I figured it was just emotional connection and that I'm not sexually attracted to her. We just hit it off like crazy and there's a lot of attraction between us. Well it turns out, I've been thinking about her sexually. I've masturbated several times since thinking about fucking her (and not from behind either). I've been turned on when I'm around this girl. I've even watched straight porn for the first time since well I was straight a long ass time ago. I even told my bf about it but he just laughed it off like it was some kind of a joke. Ironically, when a guy tells me he's bi, I generally don't believe it although I'm sure they do exist. What the fuck is going on with me guys?

Last edited by Tennisation; May 30th, 2012 at 04:19 AM.
Tennisation is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:20 AM
Keep calm and be gay.
 
Julian.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 49,063
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

I think you're bi.



Maria Sharapova Dominika Cibulkova Eugenie Bouchard Garbine Muguruza
Andy Roddick Mikhail Youzhny Grigor Dimitrov Novak Djokovic
tumblr. graphics thread
Julian. is offline  
post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:26 AM
Senior Member
 
Batemant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 314
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian. View Post
I think you're bi.
Agreed. Which is totally fine! But it'll be delicate telling your partner about it, obviously. Read some Dan Savage stuff, he usually has solid advice re: saying hard things in relationships.
Batemant is offline  
post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:29 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Tennisation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,870
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian. View Post
I think you're bi.
I refused to think that. If I was really bi, why wasn't I also attracted to girls at the same time I was attracted to guys all these years?
Tennisation is offline  
post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:38 AM
Keep calm and be gay.
 
Julian.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 49,063
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennisation View Post
I refused to think that. If I was really bi, why wasn't I also attracted to girls at the same time I was attracted to guys all these years?
Are you still attracted to your boyfriend? Don't tell me you're not sexually attracted to him anymore



Maria Sharapova Dominika Cibulkova Eugenie Bouchard Garbine Muguruza
Andy Roddick Mikhail Youzhny Grigor Dimitrov Novak Djokovic
tumblr. graphics thread
Julian. is offline  
post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:41 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 770
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

2 points:
1. You can choose to identify as whatever you want. The label is something you decide. There are no rules about how many people of the opposite or same sex you have to be attracted to before you can call yourself gay/straight/bi/queer/other etc. etc.
2. Sexuality isn't an either/or choice between gay, straight, or bi. You could fit anywhere on a scale and your preference could even change over time. Some people who identify as bi say that they felt attracted to different sexes at different parts of their lives. Some people who identify as gay have had heterosexual relationships but don't think it changes who they identify as. Some people who identify as straight have same-sex relationships.
ToopsTame is offline  
post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:42 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Tennisation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,870
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian. View Post
Are you still attracted to your boyfriend? Don't tell me you're not sexually attracted to him anymore
I am, but it's more emotionally than sexually for the fact that we've been together for a long time now.
Tennisation is offline  
post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:44 AM
Keep calm and be gay.
 
Julian.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 49,063
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennisation View Post
I am, but it's more emotionally than sexually for the fact that we've been together for a long time now.
So you're no longer sexually attracted to guys anymore?



Maria Sharapova Dominika Cibulkova Eugenie Bouchard Garbine Muguruza
Andy Roddick Mikhail Youzhny Grigor Dimitrov Novak Djokovic
tumblr. graphics thread
Julian. is offline  
post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:50 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Tennisation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,870
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julian. View Post
So you're no longer sexually attracted to guys anymore?
I still am, just not as much as I used to. I figured perhaps it was due to me getting older and growing out of my hormonal raging stage.
Tennisation is offline  
post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:52 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Tennisation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,870
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by ToopsTame View Post
2 points:
1. You can choose to identify as whatever you want. The label is something you decide. There are no rules about how many people of the opposite or same sex you have to be attracted to before you can call yourself gay/straight/bi/queer/other etc. etc.
2. Sexuality isn't an either/or choice between gay, straight, or bi. You could fit anywhere on a scale and your preference could even change over time. Some people who identify as bi say that they felt attracted to different sexes at different parts of their lives. Some people who identify as gay have had heterosexual relationships but don't think it changes who they identify as. Some people who identify as straight have same-sex relationships.
Does that mean my sexuality comes and goes in a cycle? a long ass cycle that is. Which means I can never find true love that would ever last
Tennisation is offline  
post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 04:52 AM
Keep calm and be gay.
 
Julian.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 49,063
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennisation View Post
I still am, just not as much as I used to. I figured perhaps it was due to me getting older and growing out of my hormonal raging stage.
Yeah, I think you're bi.



Maria Sharapova Dominika Cibulkova Eugenie Bouchard Garbine Muguruza
Andy Roddick Mikhail Youzhny Grigor Dimitrov Novak Djokovic
tumblr. graphics thread
Julian. is offline  
post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 05:26 AM
Senior Member
 
ElusiveChanteuse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 83,200
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

You're definitely bi. Maybe no other girl before you've found attractive to until this girl.
ElusiveChanteuse is offline  
post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 06:41 AM
Senior Member
 
Tripp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 7,422
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

One of my best friends went through the same thing some years ago. He was totally gay, I mean, he's masculine and all but he'd been gay for as long as he could remember, and then all of the sudden this new girl comes into our group and he had a complete crush on her and they hooked up a couple of times. It ended up being just an affair, and it is still sort of a tabboo subject between us, as neither of us could really believe what was going on, but I honestly feel he had an infatuation on her. The psychological reasons beyond it are far from my reach, but I do believe he was genuinely attracted to her. After that, he just kept on with his normal life, being as gay as a goose.

I don't know, you're in a relationship right now, so maybe you should just think about monogamy other than just questioning your sexuality. You don't have to be bi, or gay, or whatever, you just feel attracted to her and that's it. Whether you act on it or not is up to you, but there's no need to question your whole grounds on it.
Tripp is offline  
post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 08:25 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: New Haven
Posts: 2,235
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tennisation View Post
Does that mean my sexuality comes and goes in a cycle? a long ass cycle that is. Which means I can never find true love that would ever last
Even if you believed in this cyclical thing, it does not mean your 'current' physical attraction needs to be mutually exclusive toward your emotional attraction. You've been with your boyfriend for years, and despite having sexual thoughts about another person (male or female) has that really changed how you feel towards the person you're with?

You have to go through a paradigm shift in how you think of sexuality. Trying to think about it black or white or even grey terms is fruitless I'd say. Physical attraction is raw, and primal. I don't think it's the determining factor on finding true love. True love is much more than that, and you've already said it's not that you're not unattractive to your boyfriend physically, it's just diminished a bit, which may be more of a result of dealing with a long term relationship for one of the first times rather than anything else.
Smith Saybrook is offline  
post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old May 30th, 2012, 08:46 AM
Senior Member
 
skanky~skanketta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not paradise thats fo sho
Posts: 15,459
                     
Re: Question About My Sexuality

Don't label yourself. If you feel like fucking a man or a woman, it''s your business. I would say you're not gay, bi or straight. Just free.

skanky~skanketta is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome