I thought it would be very interesting and rewarding to create a thread where posters could write things that they have never told any of their friends or family. I feel that we all have something that we have hidden and writing it over a completely anonymous internet forum can prove to be a great way to release inner emotions. Also, other posters can be able to provide positive feedback and maybe shed light on what others say. I hope others see it as a good idea.
Here is something that I have never told a single person, not even my twin sister or best friends. Throughout middle school and high school times were very hard for myself. I was rapidly changing into someone that I thought would be accepted by others my age. I quickly let go of the values I had been raised with in exchange for new, terrible ones which I thought would make me popular. In the end of 8th grade I had lost almost all of the friends I had grown up with in return for a couple of superficial friendships and a whole lot of reputation and popularity. In freshman year I seemed to have played my cards right, entering numerous groups of friends and maintaining a mostly positive reputation. Sophomore year was when it all collapsed. My basketball and football friends chose to not accept me in their group of friends anymore. Less and less people would choose to hangout with me. Rumors broke out about me (which is a common thing in high school). Then I joined the tennis team and people started insinuating or questioning my sexuality. I now had mostly girl friends, was a bean pole, my voice had not yet matured and I did not play any of the many sports anymore. More and more people would begin to call me a fag and constantly ask me if I was gay. I was not and am not and think I will never be gay but I do consider myself to be open minded. At this time halfway through sophomore year I had lost about every friend I knew. My only true friend was my twin sister, who I still hold the most amount of love in my heart for because whenever someone would begin to talk shit about me she would be the first person to defend me or have my back. Time went on, I began drinking every weekend and smoking weed with a few "fake" friend, just to pass the time. I became distant from my religion and my family and felt incredibly alone. I began to cut my wrists alone in my bedroom with a steak knife as it inflicted the most pain, which was a way of escaping the pain from going to school every day.Then one week, my struggle seemed to be too much
My few "fake" friends dropped me, claiming they never really liked me at all but just used me for money. My cousins came into town from Reno, Nevada to visit. My youngest cousin who was 9 at the time, came up to me and told me that she over heard my father speaking to my aunt and him saying "he thought I was gay" (this proved to be false, just something made up by a immature 9 year old) I chose to believe it and questioned my existence completely. I felt that if my own father felt the same way that the kids at school felt, then all was completely lost
About a week later, after crying and cutting in my room, with my parents out to dinner and my sister at soccer practice, I thought to end the pain.
I drew a bath in my parents large jacuzzi. I played Pachebell's canon in D on the ihome. I waited until the bath completely filled up and then I stepped in. I said a final prayer that I still remember today "God, I cannot take this suffering any longer. Please forgive me and bless my family. I love you Lord". I held my head under the water, and kept it there. [b]Thousands of thoughts passed through my brain; of what people at school would think what stories would be written, how guilty those who teased and tormented me would feel. The final thought that passed through was the image of my mother, finding my body in her jacuzzi. I envisioned the amount of pain and sorrow on her face. How life for my family would never be the same. That is when I realized all of the pain that was inflicted on me was no where near the amount of pain that I would inflict on my family
After that my perspective completely changed. I found new friends Junior year grew very close to my family and my God and now I am still here today.
I have never told that story to anyone before and no one knows how great I feel to finally get it off my chest if even over an internet forum. I'm sorry it was so long but I really appreciate those who read and those who will post their stories.
Whoa, good story young sport!
Mine's nothing like that.
Basically, we had some deadbeat neighbours living down our road, now when I mean down the road, I mean about 2km, (We live on a farm you see), they lived in a little house, albeit at the time it was quite rough, the house was an offshoot of our farm which in times gone by, the herdsman and his family would live, anyhow it since became privately owned.
We had an alteration with them one time about letting their pit-bull dogs roaming, as we had herding dogs, cattle and lambs, the same conversation went by about it being their house and theyd let their dogs of if they felt like it and not giving a fuck about who we were etc etc.
Anyhow, I called the RSPCA on them and told them about three menacing pit bull crosses which we believe posed a hazard to our grazing animals, and it was lambing season aswell.
SPCA went over, discussed and came back to us saying that they had spoken to the neighbours, and they would comply with keeping their dogs on a leashes at night.
Didn't think anything of it, it all seemed a bit strange however, because when I spoke to them, It became aggressive.
Morning after I drove down to get a paper and some milk, and noticed that the gate had been open to the lambing paddock, which was strange as I have the key for it,
Upon further inspection, the chain had been cut with bolt cutters and there was no sheep to be found. So drove into the paddock and over the gradient where I came to an absolute disaster.
43 Lambs had been mauled to death, 12 Ewes, a further 5 Ewes and 18 other lambs had to be shot due to the injuries, our Prized Ram had to have his leg amputated, and the rest of what was left in this paddock were huddled in a corner weary and crying for their lambs which were strewn across pasture land.
I drove back down the hill to see one of the pit bulls dragging a caucus back with it,
I went back inside, got my 22, and went down to the house where the pitbulls were of there chain and stooping on the porch, blood all around their mouth, lamb wool strewn across the front grass.
No one was home, so I took the 22" out and shot all three dogs, found some rope and hung all three bleeding on their gutter infront of their front door. I took the ute into the paddock and piled on all the dead lambs, dumped them on their front porch and left a note which I won't go into detail.
within 2 days they had left and the house abandoned, the Police never came around, SPCA never came around, no one.
A chilling reminder, if you fuck with a farmer, you won't win.