How to reject someone and remain friends? - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 10:58 AM Thread Starter
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How to reject someone and remain friends?

I need your help girls. We all know TF is the best place for advice and life-coaching, so naturally I thought to post my problem here.

I won't bore you with every insignificant detail, but basically a friend has feelings for me and is extremely persistent in his flirting. In short, I'm not interested. I gently let him down each time or divert the conversation, but it seems as though he's not getting the message. It's reached a point where I'm worried he's going to put me on the spot with something upfront or physical and I'm going to have to reject him then and there.

How would you deal with this person in a way that won't kill the friendship?

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 11:05 AM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Depends if you are lucky and how mature they are. Usually they get embarrassed or offended, but best thing you can do is not mislead them
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 01:38 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Say you're flattered but not interested. Usually this will result in a period of awkwardness for both of you. You can't avoid that. If you give it enough time, you both might then get over it and be able to continue your friendship.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 03:18 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

I agree with what others have said, there is no way he's not going to be embarrassed, and whatever you do it's going to be a bit awkward for a while.

Just make sure you get some compliments in (to soften the blow), but tell him that he's not your type.



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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 06:33 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Tell them you're a hermaphrodite.

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 06:56 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

I've been in both sides, to me there's no way of being friends after being rejected.

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 07:19 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

That doesn't even happen in the cheesiest romantic comedies.

The belief that man is an irresolute creature pulled this way and that by two forces of equal strength, alternately winning and losing the battle for his soul; the conviction that human life is nothing more than an uncertain struggle between heaven and hell; the faith in two opposed entities, Satan and Christ - all this was bound to engender those internal discords in which the mind, excited by the incessant fighting, stimulated as it were by the constant promises and threats, ends up by giving in and prostitutes itself to whichever of the two combatants has been more obstinate in its pursuit. Life isn't black and white, it's gold.
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 07:47 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Erm, tell him that you will not hit it off in the sheets.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 08:04 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Matías. View Post
I've been in both sides, to me there's no way of being friends after being rejected.
I disagree. I had a similar situation with one of my good friends having feelings for me. We got over it, and now we flat together soo, its possible
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 08:53 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

From past experiences I think a friendship after being rejected is more up to the person who's rejecting rather than the person who's being rejected, either way it's simply just awkward for a while but after that period of time I do think it's possible to have a friendship again providing both are okay with it.

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 7th, 2012, 10:44 PM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

You're screwed, he will never get over it, no matter how polite you are. Be nice about it, and pray for the best, but expect the worst.

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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 8th, 2012, 02:23 AM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Oh yeah that's a tough one. That happened to me a couple times, I had gotten attached to those ppl in a friendly way and they wanted more. It is hard. I mean I'd wanna do "friend" stuff with them like I don't know watch a movie, play sports, play video games or whatever and they ALWAYS ended up thinking something has changed and trying moves... Anyway it didn't really bother me but I knew it hurt them and they would always be expecting more..

That being said I still managed to keep a couple of friends after rejecting them romantically and I can still have a great time with them.. It just depends on the person, how they respond. Very simple answer but you just have to be as sweet as you can in your word choice!
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 8th, 2012, 02:43 AM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

You dont have to reject him. Just dont talk to him as much as before for a month... Hopefully he gets the idea that youre not that interested in a bareback relationship.

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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 8th, 2012, 02:52 AM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

There's no point gently letting someone down, because being rejected feels the same either way. Just tell them they are fucking ugly/stupid/emotionally unstable, etc., and while those are qualities that you would overlook and perhaps even cherish in a friend, you would RATHER DIE than date someone like that.

In fact if you do that, they will get over you pretty quickly! You're really doing them a favour.

I exaggerated a little, but the idea is to be extremely firm so that you not only gun down whatever hope they have, but also subject the corpse of that hope to being hanged, drawn and quartered, before setting the final remains on fire and tossing the ashes into the Caspian Sea.

A single flow'r he sent me, since we met./All tenderly his messenger he chose;
Deep-hearted, pure, with scented dew still wet - One perfect rose.
I knew the language of the floweret;/'My fragile leaves,' it said, 'his heart enclose.'
Love long has taken for his amulet/One perfect rose.
Why is it no one ever sent me yet/One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get/One perfect rose.
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old Mar 8th, 2012, 02:58 AM
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Re: How to reject someone and remain friends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PlankdaGreat! View Post
You dont have to reject him. Just dont talk to him as much as before for a month... Hopefully he gets the idea that youre not that interested in a bareback relationship.

LEGEND. Nicole. Caro. Aga. Sloane. Taylor.
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