When I key your car - and I will - it won't truly be yours anymore.
Because in a way, it'll be mine, too. I'll own it, and when you drive it around town, you'll be working for me - displaying my handiwork on your door panel with every mile you travel. In this sense, I own literally thousands of fine automobiles.
Your ride will me mine until the day you get it repainted. And when you do, I'll be waiting to own it all over again. And again. And again.
Why do I do it?
Well, when lesser car keyers do it, it's savage, senseless territorial pissing (apologies to Kurt Cobain). But when a true master like me does it, it's something special, something magical. When you bear the scratches of my handiwork, you have joined a community; you share a bond with literally thousands of other drivers.
Perhaps you'll pull up to a stoplight and see another vehicle I've done...... you and the other driver will look across at each other's cars, then make eye contact, and share a knowing nod and a smile.
Oh, if it's just a little six-inch line in your paint, that wasn't me. When I key your car - and I will - you'll know it.
Car Key Boi