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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 26th, 2012, 10:19 PM Thread Starter
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Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian



http://blog.sfgate.com/dailydish/201...lesbian/?tsp=1

Actress Cynthia Nixon refuses to bow to pressure from the gay community to change her opinion that her homosexuality is a “choice,” despite facing criticism for her beliefs.

The “Sex and the City” star enjoyed a 15-year romance with her college sweetheart Danny Mozes – the father of her daughter Samantha, 15, and son Charlie, 9 – until their split in 2003. She then fell for Christine Marinoni in 2004, and the couple has been engaged to wed since 2009.

Nixon, who also has an 11-month-old son, Max, with Marinoni, is convinced her change in sexual preference was a choice.

In a candid interview with the New York Times Magazine the actress says, “I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line, ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’

“And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but, for me, it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.

“A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.

“Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate.

“I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 26th, 2012, 10:31 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

A gay "lifestyle" is a choice for someone who is bi, which she appears to be.
In fact it is also a choice for someone who is gay, except that their alternative choice would be to live a lie.

But she is right. Whether it is choice or not should not have an impact on this debate.

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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 26th, 2012, 10:58 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

My God she's so ugly.

The belief that man is an irresolute creature pulled this way and that by two forces of equal strength, alternately winning and losing the battle for his soul; the conviction that human life is nothing more than an uncertain struggle between heaven and hell; the faith in two opposed entities, Satan and Christ - all this was bound to engender those internal discords in which the mind, excited by the incessant fighting, stimulated as it were by the constant promises and threats, ends up by giving in and prostitutes itself to whichever of the two combatants has been more obstinate in its pursuit. Life isn't black and white, it's gold.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 07:55 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

http://www.shewired.com/box-office/2...r-choice-video

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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 08:19 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

You can't choose who you are on the inside, however you can choose to live a lie on the outside. I guess for her it was a choice. However for me I know that I was born gay and I would never live a lie. So I guess I choose to be who I am
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 08:23 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that a woman who thinks living a gay lifestyle is better than living a straight lifestyle is pretty much gay, and her main "choice" was coming to terms with that fact.

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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 08:30 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

Do you ever get tired of posting articles and statistics that "prove" your point about the degeneracy of non-heterosexuals and people of color? It's about all you do. We've gotten your point by now about the superiority of the heterosexual white person.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 08:38 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

I still don't get why people want others to bow to their cherished opinion. Even if one believes that many - let's even say most - homosexuals are born that way why would one be threatened because their are people who are aware of choosing their sexual orientation. It sometimes almost seems like homosexuals themselves see homosexuality as so "bad" that they can't conceive that someone would chose it.

More power to this woman and others like her who refused to be cowed by those who want the party-line to be toed.

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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 09:41 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

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Originally Posted by pov View Post
I still don't get why people want others to bow to their cherished opinion. Even if one believes that many - let's even say most - homosexuals are born that way why would one be threatened because their are people who are aware of choosing their sexual orientation. It sometimes almost seems like homosexuals themselves see homosexuality as so "bad" that they can't conceive that someone would chose it.

More power to this woman and others like her who refused to be cowed by those who want the party-line to be toed.
Cynthia's girlfriend must feel so privileged. She turned a straight girl gay.

Oh and I'm sorry-- I must've missed the "I'm ashamed to be hetero" phenomenon. We all know how common it is for straight people to hate themselves for their sexuality.

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 10:31 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

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I still don't get why people want others to bow to their cherished opinion. Even if one believes that many - let's even say most - homosexuals are born that way why would one be threatened because their are people who are aware of choosing their sexual orientation. It sometimes almost seems like homosexuals themselves see homosexuality as so "bad" that they can't conceive that someone would chose it.

More power to this woman and others like her who refused to be cowed by those who want the party-line to be toed.
Because a person who is able to delude himself into believing it's a choice is more likely to find discrimination justifiable.

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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 10:35 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

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Originally Posted by pov View Post
I still don't get why people want others to bow to their cherished opinion. Even if one believes that many - let's even say most - homosexuals are born that way why would one be threatened because their are people who are aware of choosing their sexual orientation. It sometimes almost seems like homosexuals themselves see homosexuality as so "bad" that they can't conceive that someone would chose it.

More power to this woman and others like her who refused to be cowed by those who want the party-line to be toed.
100% true. As a gay person I'm annoyed by any discussion of the cause of homosexuality, by straight people or by gay people. It's offensive that people need an explanation in order to accept the way I live my life as legitimate. When anti-gay bigots break out the "you chose to be this way!" argument, the typical response is "no, I was born this way!" It's a problem because 1. it makes homosexuality sound like a birth defect, and 2. the response should be "so what if I did? That doesn't make it any worse." If someone who identified as straight now identifies as gay, and is proud of both parts of her life, it's offensive for people (especially other LGBT people) to ask her to qualify that.

For the record I don't think that sexual orientation is a conscious choice. Nobody knows why people are gay. There are obviously biological factors; nobody can force him/herself to be physically attracted to someone. But it's certainly a choice (to have the courage) to be who you are.

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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 27th, 2012, 11:15 PM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

Does she mean that she's not sexually attracted to women and hence being a lesbian is a choice? Does she mean she is bi and chose to be a lesbian after dating a couple of men? Does she mean she does not feel any sexual attraction toward men or women and chose to be a lesbian? Does she mean she is sexually attracted to women and chose to have a partner, therefore in her view she chose to be a lesbian? In short: what's her point? What did she choose, exactly?

Also, why is it offensive to her that some people think she was always gay but didn't realize it? Her reaction actually IS offensive, as if people who come out of the closet when they're old are people you don't want to be associate with.

TBH, she seems to have issues.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 28th, 2012, 12:28 AM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

If she was saying that for everyone it's a choice that would be offensive that she was pushing her opinion onto everyone else. However she is saying that for her it was a choice...and surely she is entitled to feel that way and not be dictated to?

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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 28th, 2012, 03:59 AM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

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Originally Posted by égalité View Post
100% true. As a gay person I'm annoyed by any discussion of the cause of homosexuality, by straight people or by gay people. It's offensive people need an explanation in order to accept the way I live my life as legitimate. When anti-gay bigots break out the "you chose to be this way!" argument, the typical response is "no, I was born this way!" It's a problem because 1. it makes homosexuality sound like a birth defect, and 2. the response should be "so what if I did? That doesn't make it any worse." If someone who identified as straight now identifies as gay, and is proud of both parts of her life, it's offensive for people (especially other LGBT people) to ask her to qualify that.

For the record I don't think that sexual orientation is a conscious choice. Nobody knows why people are gay. There are obviously biological factors; nobody can force him/herself to be physically attracted to someone. But it's certainly a choice (to have the courage) to be who you are.
You do make a valid point there. It's unfortunate you feel that way-it should be no more a consideration than the biological factors that make me tall and bald--but it is. (the unfortunate being society at large, not you.)

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old Jan 28th, 2012, 04:24 AM
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Re: Cynthia Nixon ‘chose’ to live as a lesbian

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If she was saying that for everyone it's a choice that would be offensive that she was pushing her opinion onto everyone else. However she is saying that for her it was a choice...and surely she is entitled to feel that way and not be dictated to?
The problem is that I'm really not sure what it is that she wants to communicate.

Either she is sexually attracted to women, or she's not.

If she is sexually attracted to women, it doesn't have a lot of meaning to say that she chose to live as a lesbian. I mean, do straight people say they choose to be straight when they start dating? That's just who they are.

If she is not sexually attracted to women, then she is not gay, therefore she did not choose to be gay. In that scenario, she would be a heterosexual or asexual who chose to date a woman.
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