It's definitely not easy to live as a shy silent person.
Last week I had one embarassing moment. I was walking down the streets early in the morning in Luxembourg city and came across a bus station where I saw a couple of people standing. I just wanted to pass as quick as possible because these kind of situations scare me.
Then there was a person out of these "strangers" coming straight to me and talking to me. At this moment I was in real panic and my heart beat accelerated. (That trauma comes from two attacks I have had at railway stations years ago by the way).
Then suddenly I recognized the girl standing in front of me. It is a girl who is with me in a class for job preparation courses. I was really embarassed at that moment that I was in such a panic and that it took me a few seconds to recognize her. I stuttered "Sorry but I didn't recognize you", so embarassing furthermore that I really love this girl.
She's a real sweetheart and one of the rare persons I've met who seems to accept me as a calm introverted person. She has studied psychology by the way.
The majority of people consider you as a strange person with no real character when you are very calm. I need my time to get accustomed to new people and make conversations with them, usually many people don't give you the needed time but just consider you as an outsider or whatever.
A few weeks ago there was a Christmas party in the office I'm going to work where all the new trainees have been presented to the stuff - this is just the real nightmare for every person with social phobia and god was I nervous before that day.
Thank god that girl was present there too, she is a fellow trainee, and she was like "Let's go to that room and meet new people." I only talked to these people when they were directly talking to me. A real challenge is to start a conversation on my own with people I don't know. I am always so nervous inside even when speaking to people I know longer.
The main reason of my social phobia comes from being a twin. I have been in the same classes like my brother until 15 years, maybe that was a bit too long. I have always been a shy person but was more talkative when being with my twin brother who is a lot more extroverted by the way. I felt protected in his shadow and lost without him.
I don't dare to talk too much with people about my problems because I am afraid of their reactions. The social phobia hinders me in my life and it makes me depressive.