Is he gay ..? [I need advice also] - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 01:13 AM Thread Starter
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Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

Soooooooo TF family I don't ask for much, but I really need you're help. I shall explain.


So this guy that I will call 'Roger' and I have been friends since 6th grade. However, after two years in high school together a School Board decision split our school up. So the beginning of this year, this guy 'Myron' and I were 'talking' and around this time Roderick and I got closer. I told Roger about what was going on between Myron and I and he got very angry regarding the fact that we were talking....because apparently he doesn't like him.

So moving along in the coming weeks, Myron and I who weren't dating at all, but were close to it, ended abruptly as he stopped talking to me to get back with his ex. Roger got angry again and once again we got closer. Everyday, for around the next 6 months he would text me at 5am until he went to bed, and sometimes we'd talk on the phone until 1-2 in the morning, and not surprisingly I started to have feelings for in and I let him know, his response was simply 'ok'.

Things were going well, until he got mad over a facebook wallpost and then alot of things came to light. During the course of our friendship, he would tell his friends (primarily female) that he hated gay people, and things along those lines, and always feel the need to prove that he was straight because many people strongly believe that he is gay.

Unfortunately, things have gotten worse as of last month, on my way to school I was 'violated' by a stranger, and I have since not recovered mentally. However, the day of the incident, the only person I wanted to talk to that day was 'Roger' and when I told him what happened he laughed, and since then has remained mad at me and picks on me both because I am gay, and the incident that happend. I asked him why he continues to do this and his response was in brief, 'fuck you and your feelings.'

I don't understand, and I am greatly confused is he gay, or actually straight. I don't know and it's sad because though I am gay, I really don't like guys, I prefer to keep to myself and be alone. However, Roger was always there and he trult treated me like he liked me, we went to basketball games together, etc...but...ya know..? Idk I'm just confused, and hurt....

Could you pleased help figure out...

Is he gay..?
Why did he act the way he did..?
Why do I still have feelings for him..?
How do I get over...?

Please

Last edited by SV_Fan; Jul 4th, 2011 at 01:29 AM.
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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 01:56 AM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

I'm not too good with advice but I can tell you that yes he is gay and he's also an ass.
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 01:59 AM
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Re: Is he gay ..?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SV_Fan View Post
Could you pleased help figure out...

Is he gay..?
Why did he act the way he did..?
Why do I still have feelings for him..?
How do I get over...?

Please
First off I'm sorry about what happened to you. I hope they catch the bastard responsible if they haven't done so already.

But from what you said it seems like he's a classic case of someone gay and in denial. How old is he? I know it's tough but you need to cut all ties with him for now (if you haven't yet) and give him some time to admit some things to himself and get over his homophobia and self-loathing. If he's worth your love/friendship, he'll come back.

As for getting over him, I'm the last person you should ask for advice on that. I've had feelings for my straight BFF for years. With me, I think part of the attraction is the fact that I know he doesn't want me. You can't just stop loving him, but give it time and just know that it'll get easier and the feelings will start to subside.
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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 02:05 AM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

And what do you mean by violated, I would like some more details on that.
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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 04:15 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

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First off I'm sorry about what happened to you. I hope they catch the bastard responsible if they haven't done so already.

But from what you said it seems like he's a classic case of someone gay and in denial. How old is he? I know it's tough but you need to cut all ties with him for now (if you haven't yet) and give him some time to admit some things to himself and get over his homophobia and self-loathing. If he's worth your love/friendship, he'll come back.

As for getting over him, I'm the last person you should ask for advice on that. I've had feelings for my straight BFF for years. With me, I think part of the attraction is the fact that I know he doesn't want me. You can't just stop loving him, but give it time and just know that it'll get easier and the feelings will start to subside.
He just turned 17, last Wednesday.

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And what do you mean by violated, I would like some more details on that.
In brief, at the bus terminal while waiting on for the bus to take me to school, I did something I never, well rarely do, in this instance I've never done it here, and that was use the public bathroom. A guy followed me in there, came in to my stall down, and after some tussling (he was bigger than I was) he ____________________ ......and disappeared. My self-esteem, morale, and just everything right now is shot.
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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 07:41 AM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

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He just turned 17, last Wednesday.



In brief, at the bus terminal while waiting on for the bus to take me to school, I did something I never, well rarely do, in this instance I've never done it here, and that was use the public bathroom. A guy followed me in there, came in to my stall down, and after some tussling (he was bigger than I was) he ____________________ ......and disappeared. My self-esteem, morale, and just everything right now is shot.
Mm, sorry to hear about that. Something similar happened to a friend of mine (although she was dating the guy) and I understand how hard it is to deal with.

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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 11:57 AM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

No.

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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 01:56 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

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I'm not too good with advice but I can tell you that yes he is gay and he's also an ass.
agree.

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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 02:11 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

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During the course of our friendship, he would tell his friends (primarily female) that he hated gay people, and things along those lines, and always feel the need to prove that he was straight because many people strongly believe that he is gay.
Yes, he likes fat cocks

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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 04:51 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

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Originally Posted by SV_Fan View Post
In brief, at the bus terminal while waiting on for the bus to take me to school, I did something I never, well rarely do, in this instance I've never done it here, and that was use the public bathroom. A guy followed me in there, came in to my stall down, and after some tussling (he was bigger than I was) he ____________________ ......and disappeared. My self-esteem, morale, and just everything right now is shot.
OMG I am so sorry to hear this.

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post #11 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 05:07 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

Saddening.
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post #12 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 05:35 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

He is a complete douchebag. Steer clear of him mate
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post #13 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 07:52 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

It seems to me like he's struggling with his sexuality -- really struggling. And at 17, these things get easier, but man, dealing with this at 17 is never easy for anyone (especially if he doesn't "want to be" gay). I would suggest giving him his space. There's no need for you to put yourself in a position where you are actively allowing another man to contribute to your mental and emotional trauma. You obviously have a lot on your plate right now. I would recommend you deal with the recent assault (my sincerest apologies!) and work on yourself. Guys like this will always, always be around.

At 27, I can hardly say I'm 100% free from these kinds of situations with guys I'm attracted to, but I've somehow manage to learn how to navigate through them better. And I think most would agree (despite the after school special air of this entire post) you have to be in a better place with who you are before you can really traverse through tricky romantic planes.
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post #14 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 10:54 PM
 
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

You were assaulted and he laughed about it.

Even if he does like guys he doesn't seem to like you very much.

Why would you put yourself through more heartache ?

To answer your question though: there is nothing you've written that suggests he is gay.

I'm not greatly known for my sympathy on here but I will say this: teenage life is hard and you're clearly in a tough place right now. You should seek out people that genuinely care about you to lean on in difficult times.
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post #15 of 38 (permalink) Old Jul 4th, 2011, 11:08 PM
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Re: Is he gay ..? [I need advice also]

I don't know if he's gay or not but he's not a good friend if he laughed about what happened to you.
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