HAHA at this divorce letter. - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 01:27 PM Thread Starter
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HAHA at this divorce letter.

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband
P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!


--

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl.

I hope that's not a problem.

------


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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 02:06 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

LOL. That's too good to be true, but funny nonetheless.

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And you'll never walk alone
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 03:17 PM
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 04:17 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.


Krajicek Bertens Wickmayer Jankovic Kerber Svitolina Hogenkamp de Vroome Flipkens Kerkhove Burger Rus Rezai Bacsinszky / Lena D. missing you
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 05:54 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

holy crap this rocks

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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 06:12 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

Hey, who's been going through my personal papers!!!!

Max
Pass the duct tape and super glue. Lena's done broke my heart one last time.
Onward my LOB! Lena (ret.) Vika Vee TOB Caro Alexa Sabs Wicky Lesia Vania BMS Ekat Andi H. Jo-La Lena V KP2 Lil Bit Kiki Mini Mak Baby Veronika
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Jo-La Duchess of Norrland and Bastad
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 29th, 2009, 06:59 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

That is one funny shit
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 30th, 2009, 02:05 AM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.


Rena's Army, Ana and Vika!!!

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old Jun 30th, 2009, 10:58 AM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.



that was hilarious.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 2nd, 2009, 04:36 AM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

Love it


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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:41 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

Oh that's made my day!
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 3rd, 2009, 07:51 AM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.


Waiting for Ana Ivanovic to just retire already .
Justine Henin. Amelie Mauresmo. Francesca Schiavone.
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 3rd, 2009, 02:25 PM
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Re: HAHA at this divorce letter.

Who writes letters in this day and age?
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 3rd, 2009, 04:56 PM
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old Jul 3rd, 2009, 10:04 PM
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