Just how many Hook ups do you get through Barb?
Kidding. But I’m sorry you’ve been in such situations, they seem pretty unpleasant.
But I think you’re being unjustly harsh with yourself over this, because those 3 situations are all pretty different. Grouping them together will just paint a worse picture than might actually be. In fact, considering the events, the only thing I think your did that was a bit OTT was asking a friend to get with your ex’s new beau, otherwise the negative emotion you have around the three situations is expected.
That said, if you experienced then and now (while remembering) intense negative emotion like regret, my general advice would be:
To help reduce negative emotion, I suggest you ask yourself (and answer), what you could/would have done differently if given the chance, and then basically learn from your answers. At least this way you can avoid making the same mistakes, or dealing with same negative emotion.
It sounds like all three guys just weren’t into you as much as you were into them
. From this position I think there are two main places to go. A.
Either you become a bit more selective about the guys you get involved with, or if you want these particular (types of) guys to be into you as you are into them, you need to figure out what they like and within reason try to be it. I know that’s controversial advice but that’s probably the most effective way to obtain specific guys. But a word of warning; you’ll probably find that trying to mould yourself to get with someone who likes that, probably won’t be as satisfying as you’d like. SO I’d chose option A. But to help reduce your anxiety about this kind of stuff, look at it this way and this is the truth… even though these particular super cute guys didn’t work out, there are super cute guys out there that want someone exactly like you and won’t put you in these types of situations. Therefore, there’s no good reason for you to get jealous or possessive if these guys aren’t that into you. Just let them waltz out of your life, because sooner rather than later, even better super cuties will become available to you. Just be a bit more relaxed about all this, there not a limit supply of super cute guys, if it seems that way, you’re not looking in the right places
. [I'm sorry I just don't know how to get to the point
For more practical tips I recommend listening to what kwilliams said.
How do you deal with it? Well, certainly try not to interfere with other people's relationships. Other than that try to be self aware and stop yourself when you think your actions are motivated by jealousy.
That’s good practical advice.
Hope you feel better about all this.