Jokes? - Page 3 - TennisForum.com
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #31 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 01:26 AM
Rest In Peace, Elena
 
Brett.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 19,638
                     
Re: Jokes?

Lol @ the last one from 5ean's post! haha
Brett. is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #32 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 02:00 AM
Look who's back!
 
Sean.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 32,451
                     
Re: Jokes?

An Essex girl goes in to a benefit center to seek child benefit, the man behind the counter gets out a form and asks:

How many children do you have?
Girl: 12
The man pauses for a minute befor asking: 'What sre their names?'
Girl: 'Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn'
The man drops his pen and gasps: 'Doesn't that get confusing?'
Girl: 'Oh no it's great, i can just shout 'WAYN DINNER'S READY or WAYN TIDY YOUR ROOM NOW!' and they all do it'
The man stammers: 'but, but, but how do call them separately?'
Girl: 'Oh that's easy, by their surname of course'



Vera Zvonareva * Ana Ivanović * Li Na * Laura Robson ......
Sean. is offline  
post #33 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 02:13 AM
Look who's back!
 
Sean.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 32,451
                     
Re: Jokes?

A worried boyfriend calls up his blonde girlfriend:

Man: 'Honey be careful I just heard on the radio there is some idiot woman driving the wrong way on the M25'
Woman: 'There is not just one, there's hundreds of them!'



Vera Zvonareva * Ana Ivanović * Li Na * Laura Robson ......
Sean. is offline  
post #34 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 02:14 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 9,425
                     
Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5ean View Post
A worried boyfriend calls up his blonde girlfriend:

Man: 'Honey be careful I just heard on the radio there is some idiot woman driving the wrong way on the M25'
Woman: 'There is not just one, there's hundreds of them!'
G1Player2 is offline  
post #35 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 02:17 AM
Rest In Peace, Elena
 
Brett.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 19,638
                     
Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5ean View Post
An Essex girl goes in to a benefit center to seek child benefit, the man behind the counter gets out a form and asks:

How many children do you have?
Girl: 12
The man pauses for a minute befor asking: 'What sre their names?'
Girl: 'Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn'
The man drops his pen and gasps: 'Doesn't that get confusing?'
Girl: 'Oh no it's great, i can just shout 'WAYN DINNER'S READY or WAYN TIDY YOUR ROOM NOW!' and they all do it'
The man stammers: 'but, but, but how do call them separately?'
Girl: 'Oh that's easy, by their surname of course'
Wow! what a slut she had with 12 different men!
Brett. is offline  
post #36 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 02:20 AM
Look who's back!
 
Sean.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 32,451
                     
Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brett. View Post
Wow! what a slut she had with 12 different men!
I guess to non-brits essex girl jokes don't make sense.

Think mix chav with tati and you get an idea



Vera Zvonareva * Ana Ivanović * Li Na * Laura Robson ......
Sean. is offline  
post #37 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 03:30 AM
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
doni1212's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 26,667
                     
Re: Jokes?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5ean View Post
An Essex girl goes in to a benefit center to seek child benefit, the man behind the counter gets out a form and asks:

How many children do you have?
Girl: 12
The man pauses for a minute befor asking: 'What sre their names?'
Girl: 'Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn, Wayn'
The man drops his pen and gasps: 'Doesn't that get confusing?'
Girl: 'Oh no it's great, i can just shout 'WAYN DINNER'S READY or WAYN TIDY YOUR ROOM NOW!' and they all do it'
The man stammers: 'but, but, but how do call them separately?'
Girl: 'Oh that's easy, by their surname of course'


Quote:
Originally Posted by 5ean View Post
A worried boyfriend calls up his blonde girlfriend:

Man: 'Honey be careful I just heard on the radio there is some idiot woman driving the wrong way on the M25'
Woman: 'There is not just one, there's hundreds of them!'
It took me awhile to get this until I re-read and saw we were talking about a blonde,
That's really funny!!

Rena's Army, Ana and Vika!!!

21


doni1212 is offline  
post #38 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 20th, 2008, 04:35 AM
Senior Member
 
So Disrespectful's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 11,617
                     
Re: Jokes?

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe out of that thing!

Daniela Hantuchova.

Casey Dellacqua, Jelena Jankovic, Anna-Lena Groenefeld,
Jelena Dokic, Mirjana Lucic, Sara Tomic, Sloane Stephens
Melanie Oudin, Zarina Diyas, Kaia Kanepi, Alison Riske
So Disrespectful is offline  
post #39 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:21 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

THE VIBRATOR

As a woman passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a
strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door,
she observed her daughter with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked: 'What in the world are you doing?'
The daughter replied: 'mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried,
and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go
away and leave me alone.'

The next day, the girl's father heard the same buzz coming from the
other side of the closed bedroom door. Upon entering the room, he
observed his daughter making passionate love to her vibrator.
To his query as to what she was doing, the daughter said: dad
'm thirty-five, unmarried, and this thing is about as
close as I'll ever get to a husband. Please, go away and leave me alone.'

A couple days later, the wife came home from a shopping trip,
placed the groceries on the kitchen counter, and heard that buzzing
noise coming from, of all places, the living room. She entered that
area and observed her husband sitting on the couch, downing a cold
beer, and staring at the TV.
The vibrator was next to him on the couch, buzzing like crazy
The wife asked: 'What the f@!* are you doing?'
The husband replied: 'I'm watching football with my son-in-law.
Balltossovic is offline  
post #40 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:24 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

Cop to prostitute "Tell me when you first realised you'd been raped"

Prostitute to Cop "When the check bounced officer"

Balltossovic is offline  
post #41 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:37 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

a blond a brunette, and a redhead were trapped on a cannibal island. the cannibals told them that if they could stick ten pieces of fruit up their butts they could go free. The brunette uses apples gets to eight and says "ouch! this is really starting to hurt" so the cannibals eat her. The redhead uses grapes gets to nine and bursts out in laughter, so the cannibals eat her. up in heaven the brunette asks the redhead"why did you start laughing you would've made it?" the redhead replies" i saw the blond trying to use pineapples"
Balltossovic is offline  
post #42 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:38 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

A blond was sitting at her table doing a puzzle. she was getting really frustrated and yells at her boyfriend to come over and help her. she says "it's supposed to look like a tiger, but none of the pieces seem to fit together at all!" so he comes over to take a look. he says" calm down honey, let's clean up these frosted flakes, and go buy you a real puzzle."


Balltossovic is offline  
post #43 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:40 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

The following people were on a plane: A rocket scientist, a pilot, a priest, and a boy scout. All of the sudden the pilot screams, "The plane is crashing! We don't have long!" There were four people, but only three parachutes.

The pilot says, "I must live as well, for I have a family and ten children! My wife can't support them all!" So he got a parachute and went off.

The rocket scientists says, "I must live, for I am the smartest man in the world and know how to cure most major diseases!" So he got a parachute and jumped.

The priest takes one look at the boy scout and says, "Go, little boy. I am about to meet my maker!"

The boy scout replies, "No, sir! We can both live. The genius took my backpack."


Balltossovic is offline  
post #44 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 07:45 AM Thread Starter
-LIFETIME MEMBER-
 
Balltossovic's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 37,003
                     
Re: Jokes?

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,

Jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked Jill if she wanna.

Jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun.

But stupid Jill forgot the pill,
and now they have a son
Balltossovic is offline  
post #45 of 179 (permalink) Old Dec 27th, 2008, 09:04 AM
Senior Member
 
InsideOut.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Anapolis Asylum
Posts: 19,598
                     
Re: Jokes?

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were stuck on a desert island.

Getting desperate, the brunette told the other two that she was going to try to swim to the mainland. But she had only got to a quarter of the distance to the mainland when she got very tired. So she drowned.

Since the brunette had not returned, the redhead decided to try herself. Halfway to the mainland, she was so overcome with fatigue that she too drowned in the sea.

The blonde decided to try herself after a few more days since it was very boring on the island. Having swum three-quarters of the way to the mainland, she felt very tired.

'Oh dear, I'll never get there,' she said sadly.

So she swam back.


Ana Ivanovic is now retired.
Justine Henin. Amelie Mauresmo. Francesca Schiavone.
InsideOut. is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome