Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body". - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

http://youtube.com/watch?v=95YPS4P8A0c

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 02:07 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah...

You know I'm gettin' older
And I've gained some weight, too
In my imagination I am just 22
I'm way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol's through the roof

If there's a camera up in here that's takin' photographs of me
Then it's true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
tellin' you, what to do
'Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don't even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Stretch me some more
Take off sixty pounds
Then take off ten more
Retouch my body
Re-size my head
Clean up my skin
Please tone down the red
Retouch my body
Lipo my thighs
With your computer mouse
I'm as big as a house
Retouch my body
Remove every curve
I'm goin' to the mall to get a soft serve

Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
Remove a chin or two and how's about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

If there's a camera up in here that's takin' photographs of me
Then it's true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
or else you, will get sued
Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin' like a lez
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don't even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Don't wanna look tragic
So call In-dustrial
Light & Magic
Retouch my body
Make me look lean
Like fat-ass Oprah
on O Magazine
Retouch my body
Even out my tits
And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
Retouch my body
Blur it some more
Come on and give me what I'm payin' you for
Retouch my body

I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
Make me fuckin' young and sweet
Get rid of my celluleet
I don't want no photo, boy
I want an oil painting
Retouch my body

Retouch my body
Don't cause any trouble
I am in denial
Don't ya' burst my bubble
Retouch my body
Just look at Madonna
In real life she looks like
An ancient iguana
Retouch my body
And if you can of course
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse
Retouch my body
I've no other choice
I only wish you could retouch my voice
Retouch my fuckin' body!
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 02:12 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

LMFAO omg that is hilarious!!!!!!

SERENA 22 GRAND SLAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOZNIACKI BOUCHARD VENUS
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 02:18 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Jackie Beat
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 03:38 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

LMAO!!!! I'm a huge Mariah fan, but this was hilarious hahaha! There seems to be heaps of Touch My Body parodies floating around lol.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 04:00 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Jackie Beat is so fam and for a drag queen "she" has a nice voice.

Lovefifteen would love this lyric from Baby Got Front.

"To the little boys in the sauna
I really do not wanna
play with your weiner
I have to suspeona
a stud from Argentina"

"Everybody always said I didn't get that job because my wife is white. If you're not strong enough to look through that then you have the issue."
-Charlie Strong, assistant head coach of the Florida Gators

Black presidents of the US=1
Black head coaches in the SEC=0
Something needs to change.

Last edited by Wannabeknowitall; May 3rd, 2008 at 04:06 AM.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 04:06 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Quote:
Originally Posted by mirzalover View Post
Jackie Beat, still young and sweet!
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah...

You know I'm gettin' older
And I've gained some weight, too
In my imagination I am just 22
I'm way too busy to do Jenny, Weight Watchers, too
The fast food is to blame, cholesterol's through the roof

If there's a camera up in here that's takin' photographs of me
Then it's true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement right here
tellin' you, what to do
'Cause if you run the pics you got without the use of PhotoShop
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don't even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Stretch me some more
Take off sixty pounds
Then take off ten more
Retouch my body
Re-size my head
Clean up my skin
Please tone down the red
Retouch my body
Lipo my thighs
With your computer mouse
I'm as big as a house
Retouch my body
Remove every curve
I'm goin' to the mall to get a soft serve

Give me a tiny waist because I eat like a slob
Remove a chin or two and how's about a nose job?
Erase under my eyes where it is wrinkled and dark
Your resume says that you worked on Jurrasic Park

If there's a camera up in here that's takin' photographs of me
Then it's true, that you
Must sign this confidentiality agreement in blood
or else you, will get sued
Cuz if I end up on Perez, Hilton lookin' like a lez
I will hunt you down
'Cause baby this is show business, nobody wants the truth
Don't even try it, this is my diet

Retouch my body
Don't wanna look tragic
So call In-dustrial
Light & Magic
Retouch my body
Make me look lean
Like fat-ass Oprah
on O Magazine
Retouch my body
Even out my tits
And make sure that this haute couture size 2 fits
Retouch my body
Blur it some more
Come on and give me what I'm payin' you for
Retouch my body

I just want some gummi bears, I refuse to take the stairs
Make me fuckin' young and sweet
Get rid of my celluleet
I don't want no photo, boy
I want an oil painting
Retouch my body

Retouch my body
Don't cause any trouble
I am in denial
Don't ya' burst my bubble
Retouch my body
Just look at Madonna
In real life she looks like
An ancient iguana
Retouch my body
And if you can of course
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse
Retouch my body
I've no other choice
I only wish you could retouch my voice
Retouch my fuckin' body!

This line cracked me up

Sam Stosur - Casey Dellacqua
Marion Bartoli - Serena Williams
Jelena Dokic

Vladimira Uhlirova
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 05:31 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 05:33 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

This should be released as a single .
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 11:24 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

hahahaha! :lol
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 11:32 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Quote:
Originally Posted by mirzalover View Post
Try to make me look
Like less of a horse

I only wish you could retouch my voice

Amen!

Everything you do continues long after you've gone
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 11:39 AM
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Die Mimi, die!
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old May 3rd, 2008, 05:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Mariah Carey parody "Retouch My Body".

Quote:
Originally Posted by CrossCourt~Rally View Post
This should be released as a single .
It really should be.
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