I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice? - TennisForum.com

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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:05 PM Thread Starter
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I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

I'm a little scared...Should I be worried about anything? What do you know about colonics?

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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:23 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

Here is some advice:

1. Learn to spell advice.

2. Stop eating now.

3. Try to go take a dump.

4. Wash your butthole good.

5. Remain calm during the procedure.
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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:36 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

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Originally Posted by LoveFifteen View Post
Here is some advice:

1. Learn to spell advice.

4. Wash your butthole good.

5. Remain calm during the procedure.
1. Bitch!!!
4. It's always clean
5. Thats kind of hard to do given I never "catch"...

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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:42 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

pretend like you've never had anything up your ass
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:52 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

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Originally Posted by Sally Struthers View Post
pretend like you've never had anything up your ass
I dont have to pretend...

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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 05:57 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

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Originally Posted by Cam'ron Giles View Post
I dont have to pretend...
sure ...

anyway good luck

My neighbor went in for a colonoscopy once and ended up in the hospital for 2 months after she got some kind of puncture and then a staph infection I know it's not the same thing but still ...
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 06:02 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

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sure ...

anyway good luck

My neighbor went in for a colonoscopy once and ended up in the hospital for 2 months after she got some kind of puncture and then a staph infection I know it's not the same thing but still ...


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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 09:56 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

Oh honey! Relax and enjoy it! Ask the hydrotherapist if she will posistion you on your back so you can see your poop travel through the tube! It should be a pleasant experience!
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 26th, 2007, 10:11 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

at some of the responses in this threa.

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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 01:47 AM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advise?

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Originally Posted by Cam'ron Giles View Post
I dont have to pretend...
Oh please.
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post #11 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 02:46 AM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

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Originally Posted by Mrs. Peel View Post
Oh honey! Relax and enjoy it! Ask the hydrotherapist if she will posistion you on your back so you can see your poop travel through the tube! It should be a pleasant experience!
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post #12 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 04:45 AM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

I want to get one. It's supposed to make you feel really good and relaxed for days.


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post #13 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 02:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

Well...I'm being 100% honest here...anyone i've been with knows that I dont even want fingers near there. I get to the Wellness Center and it's really fufu...it's in Midtown Manhattan...it's dimly lit with soft soothing music. I was very nervous...Met the Hydrotherapist and she took me to a suite where she had a robe laid out for me. The suite looked like a bedroom with private a private bathroom and closets and even a TV. I changed...got on the bed and took out my PSP (Smash Court Tennis 3). She told me to turn on my side and took a glance at the tube and knew I was in trouble...it looked like a dildo...she start slow and kept putting it in and out to losen me up...OMG....it was PAINFUL...It was just not gonna work so she threw it out and tried a smaller one...after three tubes she finally got a MUCh smaller one which felt better. It was very uncomfortable once the water started flowing up there...I've never farted more in my life (I eat a salad for lunch EVERYDAY and she told me it's the Iceberg lettuce that made me gassy). Anyway, by the time I got off the bed and went to the bathroom to wash up I had the worst cramps and had to use the bathroom again...by the time I was on my way I gotta tell you...I felt like I was walking on air...I have never felt so light...my stomach felt flat as a board. It's gonna take some time to get use to the procedure but It's gonna be a very regular part of my life going forward...

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post #14 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 03:07 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cam'ron Giles View Post
Well...I'm being 100% honest here...anyone i've been with knows that I dont even want fingers near there. I get to the Wellness Center and it's really fufu...it's in Midtown Manhattan...it's dimly lit with soft soothing music. I was very nervous...Met the Hydrotherapist and she took me to a suite where she had a robe laid out for me. The suite looked like a bedroom with private a private bathroom and closets and even a TV. I changed...got on the bed and took out my PSP (Smash Court Tennis 3). She told me to turn on my side and took a glance at the tube and knew I was in trouble...it looked like a dildo...she start slow and kept putting it in and out to losen me up...OMG....it was PAINFUL...It was just not gonna work so she threw it out and tried a smaller one...after three tubes she finally got a MUCh smaller one which felt better. It was very uncomfortable once the water started flowing up there...I've never farted more in my life (I eat a salad for lunch EVERYDAY and she told me it's the Iceberg lettuce that made me gassy). Anyway, by the time I got off the bed and went to the bathroom to wash up I had the worst cramps and had to use the bathroom again...by the time I was on my way I gotta tell you...I felt like I was walking on air...I have never felt so light...my stomach felt flat as a board. It's gonna take some time to get use to the procedure but It's gonna be a very regular part of my life going forward...
lol

I think you meant to say you requested the larger one. I'm not one for unnecessary medical procedures so I'll just live vicariously through you.
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post #15 of 26 (permalink) Old Oct 27th, 2007, 03:49 PM
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Re: I'm having my first colonic in two hours...any advice?

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