So this is what happened.
Supposedly about 75 million years ago, a galatic dictator named Xenu, brought billions of aliens to the earth, put them in volcanoes and then blew the volcanoes up with atomic bombs.
Sadly this also can explain why the dinosaurs became extinct.
The ghost of these aliens polluted the earth, sticking to people's bodies and making them believe in things like Jesus Christ, other faiths, and psychiatry.
Now Scientologist have a way to get rid of these "body thetans".
Supposedly through sweating, pissing, farting, sweating, and other bodily functions you can get rid of these thetans.
So now you know can probably pick up the reason why many scientologist are so creepy and zoned out because of the belief that there's a reason to bodily functions.
You just can't scream to scream, that defeats the purpose.
This can also be another explanation for silent childbirthing.
Now after all the thetans are gone and after you pay a copious amount of money to learn the ways of scientology, you've hit the highest stage of Scientology where supposedly you're able to astroproject, talk to animals, and move inanimate objects.
Now they find out you've hit the highest stage of Scientology by putting you on this electronic machine that determines what stage you're on and all that good stuff.
How this machine was made, I don't know.
How they're able to read this machine, I don't know either.
I've left some
out because even I can't make it sound close to sane but that's the gist of it.