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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
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the girl.

does anyone here have a girlfriend? or significant other? what do you DO to make him or her happy?

and i mean...here's my situation in a nutshell. at a party. saturday night. girl tells my friend that she likes me. i talk to girl. i like girl and i don't normally like girls that like me (not like that, i just mean...i either find them non-compatible or there's something off physically...but none of that) we hook up that night. we don't have awkward post-sex talk in the morning. she's apparently not a ho. she just liked me and we were drunk (great excuse, right...but i digress...it's college). friends approve. *i* approve. what do i do now?

i shouldn't have had sex right away, right? i mean...it doesn't make me like her any less, but does it kill the chase?

i know that this sounds stupid, but i'm 21...and i've had one serious relationship, which started randomly and then after that, i've really just hooked up/had friends w/ benefits relationships. so...can anyone give me some advice about what to do with a girl you actually like?

i don't care if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever. as long as you don't say anal beads. just help me out, please.

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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 01:47 PM
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Re: the girl.

Just take her out a couple of times
to places where you won't be jumping her the moment you meet up
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 02:28 PM
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Re: the girl.

anal beads.
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 02:54 PM
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Re: the girl.

It is different if you are in a longterm relationship and want to keep it going or if you just met and want to get to know each other better.

What you can do to make her happy?

Try to figure out what makes her happy. We are all different. Maybe she'd be happy as a bug if you'd invite her to visit the Bronx Zoo, while I would certainly sue your ass off if you try to drag me in there.

To be able to figure out what makes her happy, listen to her.
To be able to listen you should talk to her.
To be able to talk to her, date her.
To be able to date her, call her up. Now.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 03:31 PM
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Re: the girl.

For starters, call her up and invite her out on a real date.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 04:05 PM Thread Starter
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Re: the girl.

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Originally Posted by mandy7 View Post
Just take her out a couple of times
to places where you won't be jumping her the moment you meet up
the movies are out then...? ugh, i hate dates to the movies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by baje View Post
For starters, call her up and invite her out on a real date.
i did that. she said yes.

*scared*

-----

does anyone have any weird but cool date ideas? like what's the coolest date you've ever been on.

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 07:19 PM
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Re: the girl.

How about a date to a sex shop that specialises in anal beads?
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 09:18 PM Thread Starter
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Re: the girl.

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Originally Posted by controlfreak View Post
How about a date to a sex shop that specialises in anal beads?
2nd date. but i'm taking baby steps.

come on...no one has anything!? help me out!

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 09:25 PM
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Re: the girl.

How about something as simple as a dinner date, where you can talk. If that is not comfortable for you to be one-on-one, how about somewhere you can take her where friends will be around but you can sorta still get to hang out with her alone? You can even do a double date thing if you have a close friend who has a girl. Then maybe do dessert alone?
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 5th, 2007, 11:37 PM
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Re: the girl.

OMG you are way to scared about this and thinking too hard about what to do. That scares me for you, because you can't put on a personality for her. Not possible for more than a few weeks. So you have to be real and be yourself. Also worries me that you are too used to using alcohol to break down the barriers and unable to be real without it. Typical for college student but you HAVE to use this relationship to change that, or you might not eve,r and when you are older is a much worse time to have to have that crutch.

That being said, it's good that you want some ideas.

First of all talk to her about the fact that you already had sex and does she want to take a little break from it to get to know each other - and the two of you can draw the line somewhere before that - or is it cool just to keep having sex while you get to know each other. Don't just see what happens... this is the beginning of a partnership and you want to shape it together by talking about it. Definitely keep that heat turned way up, either way.

You have to talk about that right away, then it won't be awkward, well maybe a little but it will be worth it. If you wait then it's too late...that golden time will have passed You can get many topics brought up and discussed and straightened out if you do it right at this time in the relationship... it is perfect. Anything you want her to know about you too, just mention it to her now.

As for what to do, jeez I could list 100 ideas. Where are you?, what is the weather like?, do you have a car?, much or little money?, what do you enjoy and what do you know about what she enjoys?

If you think you might get into some kind of schedule due busy school/life schedule - like you can get together Thursday nights and all day Saturday - then you can decide to take turns making plans.
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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 6th, 2007, 12:06 AM
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Re: the girl.

It's rare to have a normal relationship when you had sex the first night. You can still try the restaurant, without sex included in the date.
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 6th, 2007, 01:09 AM Thread Starter
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Re: the girl.

Quote:
Originally Posted by drake3781 View Post
OMG you are way to scared about this and thinking too hard about what to do. That scares me for you, because you can't put on a personality for her. Not possible for more than a few weeks. So you have to be real and be yourself. Also worries me that you are too used to using alcohol to break down the barriers and unable to be real without it. Typical for college student but you HAVE to use this relationship to change that, or you might not eve,r and when you are older is a much worse time to have to have that crutch.
oh i am real and myself, that's no problem. alcohol is alcohol, i don't change or anything.

Quote:
That being said, it's good that you want some ideas.

First of all talk to her about the fact that you already had sex and does she want to take a little break from it to get to know each other - and the two of you can draw the line somewhere before that - or is it cool just to keep having sex while you get to know each other. Don't just see what happens... this is the beginning of a partnership and you want to shape it together by talking about it. Definitely keep that heat turned way up, either way.
that's a good question...i figured we wouldn't talk about it, but now i see the importance of talking about it.

Quote:
You have to talk about that right away, then it won't be awkward, well maybe a little but it will be worth it. If you wait then it's too late...that golden time will have passed You can get many topics brought up and discussed and straightened out if you do it right at this time in the relationship... it is perfect. Anything you want her to know about you too, just mention it to her now.
hm. this is great advice. thank you.

Quote:
As for what to do, jeez I could list 100 ideas. Where are you?, what is the weather like?, do you have a car?, much or little money?, what do you enjoy and what do you know about what she enjoys?
upstate new york, cold as all fuck, i have a car, i have money...when it comes to 'date' stuff, i like everything. i'm a little anti-movies because you can't talk, though.

Quote:
If you think you might get into some kind of schedule due busy school/life schedule - like you can get together Thursday nights and all day Saturday - then you can decide to take turns making plans.
this is a great consideration.
i honestly don't think i want a girlfriend, but we do have a chemistry and i don't want to ruin it. i'm just going to let her know that i'm REALLY busy and we'll have to go slow.

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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 6th, 2007, 01:11 AM Thread Starter
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Re: the girl.

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Originally Posted by MrKnowItAll View Post
It's rare to have a normal relationship when you had sex the first night. You can still try the restaurant, without sex included in the date.
hm. yeah, so i've heard.
but i mean...since we already had sex, what's the harm in having more sex? just as long as we like each other...? is this a bad way of thinking?

i'm so used to fuck buddies that i don't know what to do...

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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 6th, 2007, 03:01 AM
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Re: the girl.

Good on ya man

First of all, controlfreak is fucking hilarious.

Second of all, I'd just take it slow, get to know her more, date blah blah blah. I don't think you can force it really though. If after a few dates things go well, and you keep the chemistry up, then consider whether you really do want a long-term relationship and where it can lead.

I dunno, thats all I got.

gone
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old Feb 6th, 2007, 03:16 AM
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Re: the girl.

Treat her right or I'm gonna hurt you. hahaha.
I've been in a similar position. Well...I lie, I haven't LOL. But like someone said, take her out on a real date for a start. Secondly, don't only call her when you want sex...call her just to talk. Take an interest in her, and avoid talking only about you.
Act natural and be charming. She'll be falling at your feet You have to try harder cuz...well...doing it on the first meeting makes a subsequent relationship harder.
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