16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 21st, 2006, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
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16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

Guys and Gals.....A fun read, quite a few of them are true.

Enjoy!


16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
By Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist


1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an
actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless
of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic back-ground, is
that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is
not a nice person.
(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur
built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Men are like fine wine . . . they start out as grapes, and it's up
to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.

I'm not young enough to know everything.

Last edited by Kunal; Nov 21st, 2006 at 12:36 PM.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 21st, 2006, 02:20 PM
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Re: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

I love Dave Barry

<a href=http://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRxqFQoTCK7shNTZu8gCFQw2PgodXisBWg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fatpbackspin.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F12%2Ftop-10-modern-olympic-tennis-moments.html&bvm=bv.104819420,d.cWw&psig=AFQjCNE-uVO0MZr3SfnqI_iaGaeknDLepA&ust=1444696940981736 target=_blank><img src=http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39938000/jpg/_39938194_capriati203.jpg border=0 alt= /></a>

"Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical." Yogi Berra!
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 22nd, 2006, 07:14 AM Thread Starter
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Re: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

i love the last point...im a guy...but its hilarious

I'm not young enough to know everything.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 22nd, 2006, 07:57 AM
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Re: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kunal View Post
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
These two are so true

)) -::-
. .))
((. .. -::-
-::- ((.*


Ashley Davies: Whatever people consider to be normal, it never is
SOUTH OF NOWHERE

"AM I GAY?...I'M ECSTATIC!!!"

"If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
It's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time"

Virginia Woolf: Do you think I may one day escape?
Van
essa Bell: One day.

Luce: Don't forget me.
Rachel: I won't remember anything else...
Imagine me & you


My blog:Quotes Blog

I'm a psychotic bitch...stay away from me!

I'M FEMALE
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 22nd, 2006, 08:23 AM
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Re: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kunal View Post
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an
actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old Nov 24th, 2006, 04:29 PM
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Re: 16 THINGS THAT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN: By Dave Barry

This is still funny

<a href=http://www.google.ca/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CAcQjRxqFQoTCK7shNTZu8gCFQw2PgodXisBWg&url=http%3A%2F%2Fatpbackspin.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F12%2Ftop-10-modern-olympic-tennis-moments.html&bvm=bv.104819420,d.cWw&psig=AFQjCNE-uVO0MZr3SfnqI_iaGaeknDLepA&ust=1444696940981736 target=_blank><img src=http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39938000/jpg/_39938194_capriati203.jpg border=0 alt= /></a>

"Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical." Yogi Berra!
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