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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 12:38 PM Thread Starter
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The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

The questions are:

What are you thinking about?
Do you love me?
Do I look fat?
Do you think she is prettier than me?
What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question # 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:

Baseball.
Football.
How fat you are.
How much prettier she is than you.
How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")

Question # 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include:

I suppose so.
Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
That depends on what you mean by love.
Does it matter?
Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:

Compared to what?
I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
A little extra weight looks good on you.
I've seen fatter.
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:

Yes, but you have a better personality
Not prettier, but definitely thinner
Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
Define 'pretty'
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question #5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, or course, is "Buy a Corvette.")

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

She....Would you get married again?
He.....Definitely not!
She....Why not - don't you like being married?
He.....Of course I do.
She....Then why wouldn't you remarry?
He.....Okay, I'd get married again.
She....You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
He.....Yes, I would.
She....Would you sleep with her in our bed?
He.....Where else would we sleep?
She....Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
He.....That would seem like the proper thing to do.
She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.

I'm not young enough to know everything.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 02:51 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

oh i gotta read this shit.. Im not sure i like the answers but i understand the questions.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 03:01 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

No, no, no. The worst question a woman can ask is "Is it in yet?"

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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 03:03 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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Originally Posted by miffedmax View Post
No, no, no. The worst question a woman can ask is "Is it in yet?"

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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 03:33 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

Very funny thread

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 03:47 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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Question # 3: Do I look fat?
I've seen fatter.

...

She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.

If only I was sure that my head on the door was a dream
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 05:27 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

No, the worst question a woman could ask a man. "Is that all?"
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 06:08 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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No, the worst question a woman could ask a man. "Is that all?"
oh snap!


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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 06:12 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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Originally Posted by miffedmax View Post
No, no, no. The worst question a woman can ask is "Is it in yet?"
Yep, that is pretty devastating. Speaking from a woman's perspective
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 09:51 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

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Originally Posted by Kunal View Post
The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

Question # 2: Do you love me?

I suppose so.

Question # 3: Do I look fat?

Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:

Not as pretty as you, when you were her age
Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question #5: What would you do if I died?

She....And would you let her use my golf clubs?
He.....She can't use them; she's left-handed.
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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 10:13 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

What are you thinking about? You and how beautiful you are and how I can't believe you're with me.
Do you love me? Of course, baby. (never use "yes," or the actually word 'love')
Do I look fat? You're as beautiful as the day I met you.
Do you think she is prettier than me? Who? Oh. pfft No.
What would you do if I died? A piece of me would die. I don't know how I would continue without you.


This how you answer these questions.

And of course they are all lies.

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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 10:32 PM Thread Starter
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number19 View Post
What are you thinking about? You and how beautiful you are and how I can't believe you're with me.
Do you love me? Of course, baby. (never use "yes," or the actually word 'love')
Do I look fat? You're as beautiful as the day I met you.
Do you think she is prettier than me? Who? Oh. pfft No.
What would you do if I died? A piece of me would die. I don't know how I would continue without you.


This how you answer these questions.

And of course they are all lies.

those are really good answers.....
hopefully when guys say that they will mean it

I'm not young enough to know everything.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 10:43 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Number19 View Post
What are you thinking about? You and how beautiful you are and how I can't believe you're with me.
Do you love me? Of course, baby. (never use "yes," or the actually word 'love')
Do I look fat? You're as beautiful as the day I met you.
Do you think she is prettier than me? Who? Oh. pfft No.
What would you do if I died? A piece of me would die. I don't know how I would continue without you.


This how you answer these questions.

And of course they are all lies.
No different from the lies women tell men:

Did you come? Did I ever, Big Daddy. Couldn't you tell?!!
Was it good? You're the best I've ever had, babe.
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 10:48 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

1)Another girl is NEVER prettier than your girl

2)Why is it hard to say you love her?

3)Ive told a few girlfriends they have to lose some weight. Not all girls take offense to that

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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old Nov 15th, 2006, 11:07 PM
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Re: The 5 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denise4925 View Post
No different from the lies women tell men:

Did you come? Did I ever, Big Daddy. Couldn't you tell?!!
Was it good? You're the best I've ever had, babe.


ROTF. I knew there was something fake about when they've said that.
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