new computer viruses. beware -
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 24th, 2006, 11:57 PM Thread Starter
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new computer viruses. beware

The George Bush Virus -
Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus -
Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus -
Gives you a permanent Hard Drive ; with NO memory

The Al Gore Virus -
Causes your computer to keep counting and re-counting

The Bob Dole Virus -
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy

The Lewinsky Virus -
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus -
Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back

The Mike Tyson Virus -
Quits after two bytes

The Oprah Winfrey Virus -
Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB

The Ellen Degeneres Virus -
Disks can no longer be inserted

The Prozac Virus -
Totally screws up your RAM,
but your processor doesn't care

The Michael Jackson Virus -
Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy...
then discards it through Windows
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 12:37 AM
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 01:22 AM
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 01:35 AM
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 01:37 AM
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The Ellen Degeneres Virus: Disks can no longer be inserted
Tell that to Portia's 8 inch dildo.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 01:38 AM
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 03:06 AM
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old Jun 25th, 2006, 04:51 AM
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