Alright, I did have plans to go out with one of my guy friends tomorrow, to go watch Silent Hill. Well tonight around 10:30pm, the love of my life calls me back, from her HOME HOME. Meaning she's back home. I answered she said she's back livin at home with her mom and all. Well she's beggin me to come get her tomorrow that we'd go out to dinner that she wants to seriously discuss our future that she's got plans for the two of us. That we'd meet up, take her and the puppy out, and go to dinner then find somewhere quiet, isolated and alone and park and that she wanted to give me some. That she's missed me so much, and she's wanting to prove to me how much she misses me and needs me in her life. That she's ready to have sex with me even if it's in a damn car out in the middle of no where. Because I can't bring her back here, my family hates her. In fact if they find out I'm out with her tomorrow and not my guy friend her and I will be dead... I kid you not, they'd kill us. Her mom is OK with us, but we don't feel safe being at her home foolin around alone together... with her mom, bro, and grandparents all being there and her lacking a locking bedroom door. So she wants me to come get her around 2pm tomorrow and us go out together, her treat.
I've dreamed about this for a while, but now I'm nervous... like it's my first time all over again. I shouldn't feel this way. Hell I've bought DVD's and books to improve my techniques and all. I'm sure I'll be damn better this time than any other time I was for her. I'm just, I dunno scared. Please offer me some advice, this is the girl I'm basically married to, who I've been with for the past 6+ years of my life, even thou it's been a lot of on again, off again business. She's still my soulmate. It's just tough when my family hates her, becuase they expect me to be straight.
Plus I have this massive hickie on my shoulder, it's not in a sexual area or anything just where I was wearin a tank top and me and my friend Erin who's a previous EX left on me when we were wrestling around. Because hell she thought like me Jojo was never going to come home to me, and I should just view myself as free. I never thought me putting my foot down whould bring her home so damn quickly. What do I tell her about this hickie thing? Or is my best best covering it up.
I'm just at a loss here, I need
folks. I'm off to take a long relaxing bath to calm my nerves.