At the age of 17, I was diagnosed with an Immune System infection that basically, according to Doctors, had my blood flowing with embalming fluid. I felt dead inside. It came out of nowhere.. and one day at around 4 PM, after laying in bed for about 2 days not being able to talk or really even think straight, I realized something was wrong. I thought it was just summer and I was being lazy, but that was far from the truth. It was like everything was in slo-mo dream technology or something. Nothing was real. I had no future, I hated everything and I just wanted to curl up and die. I always thought deep down inside I was a special person, and that because of that.. I could achieve my goals & dreams, and even if I didn't, it'd be a fun journey. All my dreams of being a actor in Hollywood had come to an end and now, I was just like everyone else. It's hard to explain how exactly you feel unless you've been through it.
Luckily I was smart enough not to take the advice of many Doctors suggesting that I take antidepressants, etc. because I knew it wasn't my brain. I just felt it in my heart that it was something else. After weeks of research, I finally came across symptoms and causes that were similiar to my situation. Luckily for me I knew what it was. Unfortunately it takes alot of work to get rid of. Some people never get rid of it actually and struggle their whole lives with it.
I studied on the infection and finally had everything together. The following guidelines last 6 months.
: No sugar of any kind. No bread, no fruit, no alcohol (
), no potatoes, no grains, no artificial sugar, no processed sugar, no cake, no pie, no cheese.
Basically only meat.. and vegetables.
: Heavy doses of antifungals & antibacterial supplements to kill the infection living inside my guts. The side effects are flu-like symptoms as well as brain fog, irritability, and extreme fatigue.
: Although this isn't an official rule that has to do with the treatment of the infection, I secluded myself from everyone. I didn't want people to see me like this. I didn't want to be seen as the moody, boring monotone person people had come to know me as. I was always so happy, optimistic, enthusiastic, witty, energetic, friendly & charismatic. I was always the life of the party, and I fed off attention.. and I usually supplied it making everyone laugh. It feels good to make people happy, or to have people come to you and be able to talk to you about personal things, or just giving a random smile to a person you're passing in the mall and have the favor returned. It was just hard being completely opposite of the above traits. I broke down nearly everyday.
Well, needless to say it has been 5 months now, and I'm 90% recovered! I feel completely opposite, and it's hard to say this in such a short sentence without being able to express the eternal happiness I am feeling now.. but I am back to my old self, and I'm loving it, along with life & everyone in it.
And what I learned from it was that no matter how dark it may be, or how long the road may seem... there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Deep down inside I always had hope, not even the toxins or the bacteria filling my body could keep my soul from shining out. I fought and I want everyone to know, if you ever feel hopeless or like you just can't make it, just remember to always look forward and keep fighting. You will find that light eventually.