Do you chew gum? | Something to chew on... - TennisForum.com

View Poll Results: Do you chew gum?
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post #1 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:22 PM Thread Starter
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Do you chew gum? | Something to chew on...

Something to chew on
By Guardian Unlimited / Science 03:33pm
It is a virtual panacea, apparently, chewing gum. Forget, for a moment, its potential as a catalyst for urban violence (Yes, you, Squelcho, on the tube - get out of my ear!). According to an article in the Guardian today, the gum dealer Wrigley is spending millions on a "research institute" to build upon findings in great, tottering piles of scientific papers propounding the curative powers of its product, writes Simon Busch.

Scientists have already found that, by encouraging the production of spit and thus sluicing acid and bacteria from your mouth, chewing gum will keep your teeth sparkling and douse your halitosis. Other researchers assert that mastication improves your memory: like bovines chewing the cud, gum-chewers exercise their hearts, thus pumping oxygen-rich blood to the forgetful parts of their brains.

The gum movement even avers that regular consumption of Wrigley's gum and related products can put the squeeze on troublesome colons. Bowel patients have apparently been streaming out of hospital after gum treatment, because chewing the substance supposedly tricks the body into thinking it is eating - thereby releasing hormones that awaken the dormant gut.

Speaking of trickery, what is this odd non-food? It is a bit like crisps, another nutrition-chameleon and equally beloved of the British. As Joe Moran pointed out in a recent New Statesman article, crisps - often just reconstituted potato, maize or starch petrified in boiling oil - are so nutritionally flimsy their manufacturers have had to ladle on the semiotics to get them down the gullets of an increasingly health-conscious population.

Hence the advent of posh crisps, with such verbal additives as sea salt and malt vinegar - as opposed to plain old salt and vinegar. And hence the revival of "plain old" as soon as it is abandoned. Moran cites the marketing spiel for Golden Wonder crisps: "We don't want to make nouvelle cuisine. We just want to make ... [g]ood, honest, delicious crisps" - unlike, in other words, those suspicious new snacks probably favoured by the cosmopolitan bourgeoisie.

Chewing gum may be a cure-all, but only by accident. Like crisps, the stuff itself consists of almost nothing. As Wrigley's kids' guide to gum - All the chews that's fit to print - helpfully explains, chewing and bubble gum are actually latex, laced with sweetener and a little artificial flavouring that both quickly melt away in the mouth.

This is a blank slate of a product, upon which all kinds of social meanings can be projected. The news that it is healthful can only hasten the process by which chewing gum goes lifestyle. Expect ads for gym chains, organic food outlets and activity holidays soon to feature models chewing frantically away to lend the products concerned a little inner glow by association.

Indeed, gum is likely to become even more widespread than it is. The implications for not only the pavement but also, as I have suggested before on Guardian Unlimited, social cohesion, seem terrifying, but Wrigley, with its Science Institute, has its foot stuck on the accelerator.

The company says its studies will be carried out in independent laboratories, but it is questionable how independent such research products can ever be. The project is part of a wider trend for cash-starved scientists to stick their hands out, perforce, to corporations for funding to continue their work - any work.

And that does rather raise the question of why the researchers at the Universities of Illinois and Northumbria, whose findings I mention above, investigated chewing gum in the first place - rather than, say, sherbet or ice cream. Something else to chew over.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/news/arc...w_on.html#more

I hate chewing gum, I can never find a bin when I want to spit it out.

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post #2 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:29 PM
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The I Hate You option was just too tempting.

Of course I don't. Hate you that is. Nor the chewing gum.

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post #3 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:31 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by CooCooCachoo
The I Hate You option was just too tempting.

Of course I don't. Hate you that is. Nor the chewing gum.
Fuck you, Coo. And you don't seem like a gum kind of guy anyway. The only thing you like in your mouth is a penis.

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post #4 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:33 PM
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Here's a true story Tim. I used to love chewing gum as a kid...but my mum used to ban me from having it. Dunno why. MadMotherLogic Anyway, when I was about 9, I snuck out to the sweet shop to buy me some sweet, sweet wriggleys <in the days when a pack cost 17p!>

I'd been reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I wanted a special stick of gum like Violet Beauregarde. I was chewing on my gum and to hide it from my mum <no rhyme intended> I stuck it behind my ear like Violet does in the book!

Oh the calamity! It got stuck in my hair. A huge globule of crap clamped to my gorgeous ringlets. My mum had to cut it out, and she butchered my hair with her multi-purpose orange handled scissors all mothers have. I had bald patches for weeks!

I've never chewed gum since!*


*Not strictly true, but it puts me off from major consumption

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post #5 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PamShriverRockz
Here's a true story Tim. I used to love chewing gum as a kid...but my mum used to ban me from having it. Dunno why. MadMotherLogic Anyway, when I was about 9, I snuck out to the sweet shop to buy me some sweet, sweet wriggleys <in the days when a pack cost 17p!>

I'd been reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I wanted a special stick of gum like Violet Beauregarde. I was chewing on my gum and to hide it from my mum <no rhyme intended> I stuck it behind my ear like Violet does in the book!

It got stuck in my hair. My mum had to cut it out, and she butchered my hair with her multi-purpose orange handled scissors all mothers have. I had bald patches for weeks!

I've never chewed gum since!*


*Not strictly true, but it puts me off from major consumption
LOL, OK.

I can't remember the amount of times I've managed to get some kind of gum on my clothes. Every pavement is covered in gum too, I hate it.

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post #6 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:50 PM
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I chew gum constantly. Like literally 12 hrs+ a day. I even started chew 1/2 sticks because I always spit it out when I smoke and people get grossed out if I stick it behind my ear like "Violet" in Willy Wonka and TCF. I mean, it's not like I don't wash behind my ears. Ever since I read the story about gum boosting the metab by about 13% I've been a fanatic. I used to only chew it if I wanted to hide the "smoker's breath" from someone or had to be without a cigarette for a long time.
Tim, why do you have to spit gum in a bin?

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Last edited by GrandSlam05; Mar 30th, 2006 at 08:07 PM.
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post #7 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 07:57 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by GrandSlam05
Tim, why do you have to spit gum in a bin?
Because I think spitting it on the floor is disgusting!

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post #8 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:04 PM
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LOL, OK.

I can't remember the amount of times I've managed to get some kind of gum on my clothes. Every pavement is covered in gum too, I hate it.
Argh tell me about it. The best thing to do with chewing gum on your clothes is to put the item of clothing in the freezer. That's what Monica Lewinski's excuse was anyway

It's gross when there's loads of chewing gum on the floor!

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post #9 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrandSlam05
and people get grossed out if I stick it behind my ear like "Violent" in Willy Wonka and TCF.
It seems Roald Dahl has a lot to answer for! Bet you've never got it stuck in your hair like the doofus I am though

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post #10 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:19 PM
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The only thing you like in your mouth is a penis.
you say this like it's a bad thing...
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post #11 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by !<bloc_party>!
Fuck you, Coo. And you don't seem like a gum kind of guy anyway. The only thing you like in your mouth is a penis.
I do like to eat and drink occasionally, you know. Penises can be nice, but don't really keep me alive


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post #12 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:32 PM
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i love love love gum, i chew it all day, i prefer Trident Original flavour.

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post #13 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:45 PM
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yes, i do enjoy masticating on a piece of gum.

that's M-A-S-T-I-C-A-T-I-N-G, filthy devils
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post #14 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G-Ha
you say this like it's a bad thing...
Well, it is for Coo. He gives shit head.

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post #15 of 34 (permalink) Old Mar 30th, 2006, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CooCooCachoo
I do like to eat and drink occasionally, you know. Penises can be nice, but don't really keep me alive


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