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post #1 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:05 AM Thread Starter
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Lightbulb ADVICE: Am I wrong?

I have been really good friends with this person for about two years now. This year we added a person to our "group". Over the last couple of months my good friend has been doing some pretty inconsiderate things, including:
  • Not inviting me to parties when they occur, claiming that it wasn't their place yet they invited other people.
  • Doing stuff on the weekend and then telling me about it when they haven't invited me nor have I asked to hear their story.
  • Inviting other people over me to go to concerts with them when there is only one ticket available.
  • Trying to use me for my "girl"-friends for parties, using that as an excuse to invite me to their parties.
  • Making plans for community service projects and then when I try and sign up my friend tries to discourage me from doing it because I "won't like it".

Each of these things has led to me to say something which in response my friend says that I'm "acting like a woman" or "overreacting".

Today was the straw that broke the camel's back. My friends (including the new addition) ignored me everytime I spoke and when we went to the mall to grab lunch they purposefully cut me out of the walking line, everytime I was in line with them they would fall back.

I have decided to stop being friends with them because I don't like phony people who pretend to be my friend and really aren't. I have done this without argument, I've just essentially decided to stop hanging out with them (even though we've haven't really hung out since I'm not invited to anything) and have decided that I honestly don't like them.

Am I wrong? Is there something I can do differently?
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post #2 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:10 AM
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Have you ever ask him what have you done wrong to him or the others?


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post #3 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:12 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexSydney
Have you ever ask him what have you done wrong to him or the others?
I've talked to my other friends about this and they said that they've told him that I overeact too much. But the thing is whenever I'm invited to a party I always invite them, it's just the courteous thing to do.
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post #4 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nbaker53
I've talked to my other friends about this and they said that they've told him that I overeact too much. But the thing is whenever I'm invited to a party I always invite them, it's just the courteous thing to do.
Well, this sounds like they think you're not their friend and they might wonder why you kept invited them. So, fuck them... I'm sure there are many people you will like.


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post #5 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:23 AM
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How old are you? I used to have friends somewhat like that. Believe it or not, I ended up being real friends with them much later on. People can just be inconsiderate tits, especially when around a certain age.
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post #6 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:30 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexSydney
Well, this sounds like they think you're not their friend and they might wonder why you kept invited them. So, fuck them... I'm sure there are many people you will like.
No they always go. Trust me we were friends.
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post #7 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:31 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Canuck
How old are you? I used to have friends somewhat like that. Believe it or not, I ended up being real friends with them much later on. People can just be inconsiderate tits, especially when around a certain age.
17. 18 in a couple of months. But seriously I hope they change ... because when they grow up and they act like that for sure no one will like them
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post #8 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:34 AM
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Fuck them

What good is a friend if he/she doesn't act like one?


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post #9 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:34 AM
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Some of these things sound fairly trivial, but some do sound hurtful and downright nasty. I'd try to talk it out with the person one more time, I suppose, but maybe you need to move on. As Becca asked, how old are you? I assume from the content that you're still in high school, in which case the best advice might be that most people get better than this when they get older. You might find a better bunch of friends at university, or whatever you do next. If you're already out of the school environment, even better - there'll be all the more chance to find some nice people.

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post #10 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:41 AM
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Hon, here's what happened. This person you invited into your group has taken over the role of Queen Bee in your little group of friends and for whatever reason is threatened by you, so he is forcing you out of the group. Were you the old leader of the group? If so this makes sense. There can only be one in charge at a time. You need to either fight to win your friends back or accept that you have been defeated and move on.

Blowing out someone else's candle does not make yours shine brighter.
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post #11 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nbaker53
17. 18 in a couple of months.
Our posts crossed.

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post #12 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sally Struthers
Hon, here's what happened. This person you invited into your group has taken over the role of Queen Bee in your little group of friends and for whatever reason is threatened by you, so he is forcing you out of the group. Were you the old leader of the group? If so this makes sense. There can only be one in charge at a time. You need to either fight to win your friends back or accept that you have been defeated and move on.
Mean Girls


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post #13 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:48 AM
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Aw They're behaving like young kids! Personally I'll tell them to get lost. I think you've done the right thing not hanging around with them. Don't waste your time and energy on people like that. Sometimes friendships just run their course anyway, you're at an age when you'll start to meet loads of new people anyway!

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post #14 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:48 AM
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Funny, i just saw someone from high school today, and we were talking about this kind of stuff (because I went to a VERY snobby high school and I transfered there senior year, making it even harder). Probably the simplest advice is to take about 2-4 weeks and get really involved in something away from these people, not just avoiding them but really being busy doing something important that takes your mind off of it and is also really positive. Give things a little time to decompress.

Don't brood because it's a really bad rut to get into, being a brooder, find something positive to turn to. Imagine you are 20, 30, or 40 and look back at this; all the little things will not be important and it will also be rare if you are still friends with any of these people. People are picking up on you being sensitive - even if you are right, it makes them defensive. Try yoga to learn different ways to think and manage your thoughts.
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post #15 of 32 (permalink) Old Mar 25th, 2006, 07:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexSydney
Mean Girls
I've never seen that since I loathe Lindsey Lohan. Is that the plot?

Blowing out someone else's candle does not make yours shine brighter.
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