Ghetto Christians - TennisForum.com
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post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old May 12th, 2005, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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Ghetto Christians

I know we don't know any of these kinds of people.



>1) You lie on an application to get a job and then get up and testify

>that "God made a way out of no way!"

>

>2) You get mad at a visitor and call them out for sitting in YOUR seat.

>

>3) You tell the preacher to baptize you from the neck down because you

>just got your hair did!

>

>4) You take 2 hours to get ready for church, get there late, and leave

>early!!

>

>5) You open your Bible and you cough from the dust that flies out.

>

>6) Your wedding song is 'Secret Lovers'.

>

>7) You do not lift your hand during worship because your acrylic nail is

>broken.

>

>8) The only time you like to sing in the choir is when they let you

>sing "your" song.

>

>9) You do not tithe because you say, "the preacher might be crooked and

>stealing the Lord's money, s! o I don't want to give it to him."

>

>10) After you've done wrong and someone has rebuked you, you don't

>repent but you say, "Well the Lord knows my heart".

>

>11) If you have ever said, "Show me in the Bible where it says, thou

>shall not smoke".

>

>12) Your favorite part of the service is the benediction.

>

>13) You buy "hot" merchandise and testify the Lord blessed me with a TV,

>jewelry, clothes, etc.

>

>14) You overheard someone say, "We got fed today at service" and you

>asked if they served chicken.

>

>15) You just got finished smoking on the outside of the church and then

>try to lead a song, get choked up, holding your throat and say to the

>congregation, "The devil don't want me to sing this song."

>

>

>Pass this on to let others know the signs of a "ghetto" Christian.



Keep The Faith, and

The Faith will K! eep you


Official Gangsta rappa of the Royal Court

Will you be there?
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post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old May 12th, 2005, 03:35 PM
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Those apply outside the ghetto, too!

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COUNTDOWN!
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post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 02:25 PM
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not been to church for years....im so ashamed
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post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 04:05 PM
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I haven't been to church since I was a young child but I laughed at these because I've witnessed a few of them, most notably #10! That's happened so many times!
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post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 04:13 PM
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#3 funny as hell...I'm guilty of #4 and #9....my old preacher a crooked SOB....I woulnd't give a foodstamp in his service.

Venus and Serena ....Often imitated NEVER duplicated!!!!!!!
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post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 04:19 PM
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number 15 made me laugh just reminded me about my grandmar who according to her 'tried to avoid the devil and vampires as they are not nice people'

number 8 is kinda appropriate...i only sing the songs i like. not good enough to lead
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post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 04:45 PM
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Some of these are funny... some are probably true for a lot of people... some are too obscure to register with my religion-free upbringing.

Thanks for posting anyway!
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post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 05:43 PM
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If it helps to know, it's common across all religions. Some Hindus take offerings to the temple and leave them for the gods. Well some of our family get their cooks to make lots of food while they're fixing their makeup so that when they arrive at the temple, they're the ones looking the best and with the biggest offering
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post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 06:40 PM
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Some of those, when true, can actually be really sad. I mean I know some people who lead pretty false and pathetic lives, and pretend to be worshippers, because it looks good. They may or may not believe. But I'm not sure they even know. They just can't really be bothered. It's sad.

"Let he among us without sins be the first to condemn"
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post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 06:48 PM
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Some of those were hilarious, but as Dave commented there is nothing worst than someone who pretends to be something they are not
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post #11 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 06:52 PM
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Well, I think at least one of these, in some way, applies to every Christian, or in fact every religious person out there, in whatever way.

I am glad to be an atheist and I believe there are many hypocritical sides to religions. I respect everyone's choices and beliefs, as long as they are not going against my principles, but there are many good weather believes out there as we call them in The Netherlands. This means that they are religious when it comes to the positive sides of having a religion (this is about the superficial sides only, i.e. days off and certain holidays), but then show now signs of believing at other times (e.g. Muslims that smoke and drink).

So as funny and witty as this list may seem, there is a lot of truth in it.
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post #12 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 07:46 PM
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Regarding religion, I think there's a fine line between thinking for yourself and letting someone else think for you. I believe religion is a guideline on how people should lead their lives and with each guideline, the individual must choose to adhere to it or make a decision to think for his or herself. I don't have a problem with religion, itself, but rather people who think that believing in one makes them better than a person who doesn't and the hypocritical nature that follows such thought.
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post #13 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SelesFan70
Those apply outside the ghetto, too!
They surely do. It's not a socio-economic thing. It's a human thing. The list is funny, by the way.
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post #14 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 09:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DemWilliamsGulls
#3 funny as hell...I'm guilty of #4 and #9....my old preacher a crooked SOB....I woulnd't give a foodstamp in his service.
Foodstamps to church is hilarious. The thing that makes it even funnier is that I'm sure people actually do it (with the best of intentions, they're just a little short on cash that Sunday).
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post #15 of 37 (permalink) Old Jun 10th, 2005, 09:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveTheGoodrepFairy
Some of those, when true, can actually be really sad. I mean I know some people who lead pretty false and pathetic lives, and pretend to be worshippers, because it looks good. They may or may not believe. But I'm not sure they even know. They just can't really be bothered. It's sad.
It is sad because these people you're referring to are good at heart but they are trapped by guilt. If they could accept that they are human and that they will be forgiven then religion wouldn't be such a handcuffing issue. I also think that people shouldn't go to church because "they have to". That's another problem also.
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