How to get off a speeding fine - TennisForum.com

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 8th, 2005, 02:22 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,529
                     
How to get off a speeding fine

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!

"Let he among us without sins be the first to condemn"
Szymanowski is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 8th, 2005, 05:06 PM
Senior Member
 
XaDavK_Kapri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 5,163
                     
LMAO! That's great.
XaDavK_Kapri is offline  
post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 8th, 2005, 11:52 PM
Senior Member
 
ceiling_fan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,606
                     
ceiling_fan is offline  
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2005, 12:51 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,529
                     
bump

(it's too funny for people to have missed)

"Let he among us without sins be the first to condemn"
Szymanowski is offline  
post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 9th, 2005, 01:40 PM
Senior Member
 
Mateo Mathieu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Cockatoo Island
Posts: 60,284
                     
I've seen that one before


Inspiration is for amateurs


Faves: Mona Barthel / Samantha Stosur / Roberta Vinci
Mateo Mathieu is offline  
post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2005, 01:56 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Ontario
Posts: 1,375
                     
That's a great one. I'll use it next time...
Captain.Canada is offline  
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2005, 09:54 AM Thread Starter
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,529
                     
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathan27
That's a great one. I'll use it next time...
I wouldn't try.... It might backfire

"Let he among us without sins be the first to condemn"
Szymanowski is offline  
post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2005, 09:12 PM
Senior Member
 
VeeReeDavJCap81's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 9,542
                     
Good one!

Really, don't even look at me...
VeeReeDavJCap81 is offline  
post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2005, 11:47 PM
Senior Member
 
BigB08822's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: L.S.U.
Posts: 4,218
                     
HAHA! Good one.
BigB08822 is offline  
post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 10th, 2005, 11:51 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: wtaworld
Posts: 2,142
                     
timray is offline  
post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old Apr 11th, 2005, 04:27 AM
Senior Member
 
Denise4925's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Basking in Serena's Glory
Posts: 30,854
                     
I heard it before, but it's still funny.
Denise4925 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the TennisForum.com forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome