Wendy's Guide to Lerve - TennisForum.com
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old Jan 29th, 2005, 10:04 PM Thread Starter
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Wendy's Guide to Lerve

G'day maties.

Now, it's about time I shared my great wisdom and talents. And no, I don't mean my ability to eat 219847 pizzas in one go. Ya see guys I'm a legend when it comes to chat up lines and all things leeeeeeerve. So sit back and enjoy Wenders' World, the new lerve doctor...

Use these chat-up lines and you're guaranteed lerve success:

Would you be my love buffet in the players' lounge? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone in the locker room we did anyway.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

That tennis outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

My name's Wendy That's so you know what to scream.

My name's Wendy but you can call me "lover."

Nice tennis sneakers. Wanna fuck?

Your daddy must have been a baker (as well as being a tennis slave driver), 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me next to court 3?

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss my spare balls?

I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.

[Grab her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Can I have directions? ["To where?"] To your heart.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?

[Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.

Hey, that's a nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?

-I bet no one remembers me-
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old Jan 29th, 2005, 10:44 PM
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Pffft. I didn't bag-a-Bond with those lines.

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~I Loves My George but not that skanky Lazenby granddad~This game has gone to DOOSE~~I won the Olympic Gold~~The BEST commentator~~My vowels rulez the air~~ Ping-Pong Pam~~Style Guru: The Pamfro, Voted Hairstyle of the Yr 1983~~Click here to see my fantastic web site created by my adoring 'fan'
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old Jan 30th, 2005, 12:58 AM
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OMG! Wendy! Hi! Remember me? I was one of the people who asked for a photograph with you last Wimbledon. I was with 4 mates and it was my camera the security guy used when you displayed your jazzhands. That picture sits proudly on my bedside table. I've taken a vow of celibacy ever since that photo. When I look at it every morning, I know nothing could come so close.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here - I have some questions for you. Firstly, during the match at Wimbledon, it was notable that many of the um..well...the err...umm...lesbians of the tour came out to watch you. Well, I assume it was you and not one of the others players on display. Personally though, I thought they were all there for Gigi. But anyway, what's that all about? Do they often come out to watch you? Are you like some form of leader? And why did certain players only appear when others had left?

Also, a friend of mine recounted a tale to me that recently you and she were at the same party. I know, it's a long shot, but apparently you were there with an ex-girlfriend of yours and my friend was there with some friends of hers, one of whom was your ex. Or something. Details don't matter, right? She mentioned to me that you kinda made eyes at her and made it look like you fancied her. So, knowing how good your chat-up lines are, why didn't you pounce? And why did she not get to sample WendyLove? She told me she cries herself to sleep at night at the prospect of what might have been.

Love ya Wenders!


I've never been to Cuba
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old Jan 30th, 2005, 09:06 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snuffkin
OMG! Wendy! Hi! Remember me? I was one of the people who asked for a photograph with you last Wimbledon. I was with 4 mates and it was my camera the security guy used when you displayed your jazzhands. That picture sits proudly on my bedside table. I've taken a vow of celibacy ever since that photo. When I look at it every morning, I know nothing could come so close.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here - I have some questions for you. Firstly, during the match at Wimbledon, it was notable that many of the um..well...the err...umm...lesbians of the tour came out to watch you. Well, I assume it was you and not one of the others players on display. Personally though, I thought they were all there for Gigi. But anyway, what's that all about? Do they often come out to watch you? Are you like some form of leader? And why did certain players only appear when others had left?

Also, a friend of mine recounted a tale to me that recently you and she were at the same party. I know, it's a long shot, but apparently you were there with an ex-girlfriend of yours and my friend was there with some friends of hers, one of whom was your ex. Or something. Details don't matter, right? She mentioned to me that you kinda made eyes at her and made it look like you fancied her. So, knowing how good your chat-up lines are, why didn't you pounce? And why did she not get to sample WendyLove? She told me she cries herself to sleep at night at the prospect of what might have been.

Love ya Wenders!
Snuffers! Hiya babe. Oh yeah mate, I remember that photograph. Who could forget, I was kinda hoping someone would ask for my pic as I'd been practising my jazz hands for months - all part of the WendersWorld entertainment routine.
It's a shame we live poles apart, still WendersLove can breach any milage.

Far from me to blow my own Wenders trumpet, but I am THE cool chick at slam events. I am THE party animal, no event is complete unless I'm there to rock the joint. Yeah at my doubles matches I attract huge followings coz people know where I am, the fun is at. I'm The Leader of WendersWorld, their spiritual guide.

As for some appearing when others left, I think my greatness is SO great we have to limit numbers and carry out a round-robin-watching-wenders system. Otherwise too many people would hyperventilate together, and it'd be carnage.

Yeah I remember that party. I kinda regret not making a WendersMoooooove. But I'd seen a vat of cake on the other side of the room and that won out. Sorry babe.

-I bet no one remembers me-
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